


Return To Me

by NerdyAddict



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternative Universe - No Arrow, F/M, olicity au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-10-14 13:02:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 79,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10536999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyAddict/pseuds/NerdyAddict
Summary: What would you do if you woke up tomorrow with the last 5 years of your memories gone? After an unfortunate accident, Oliver Queen must figure out his place in a life he has no memory of whilst his wife, Felicity, does everything she can to support him. With emotions, secrets and relationships pushed to the limits; will love and friendship be enough to turn back the hands of time?





	1. Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So I'm back with a new story! Firstly massive thanks to mel-loves-all for helping me with the title, and for laurabelle2930 for supporting and encouraging me constantly, especially to share this with you guys. SO this is very loosely based on The Vow, with no Green Arrow etc but it's got a variety of twists and turns and this is going to be ANGSTY, full warning from the start this wont be all sunshine and roses, there will be happy moments of course, but if you don't want angst this isn't for you. NOW I hope you enjoy.

The voices sound distant and dulled as he felt an ache deep in his skull. He took a deep breath trying to ease the pain, when he suddenly became acutely aware of the pain in his chest. His breath released staggered. He slipped his eyes open briefly, closing them as the harsh lights burnt. His eyes fluttered for awhile as he watched an array of people rushing around him.

"Oliver, Oliver..." The woman's voice beckoned as he mumbled, still unable to fully open his eyes.

"Too bright," he uttered, his sore throat making him sound unrecognisable to his own ears.

"Dull the lights," the woman ushered out.

Oliver opened his eyes, easily focusing on the strange people before him. He frowned glancing around. "Drink?" he whispered and instantly a red headed lady wearing a nurses uniform helped him take a sip from a glass.

"Better?" she asked with a warm smile and he nodded.

"Oliver, can you tell me your full name please?" a lady in a white coat, who he presumed was a doctor, asked.

"Oliver Jonas Queen," he replied without a thought.

"Do you know where you are, Oliver?"

"I'm presuming a hospital."

"Yes, Star City General," she replied with a warm smile. "Do you remember what happened?"

"No," he whispered, "no I don't... I can't... my head hurts, and my chest."

"That's okay, you were in a car accident."

Oliver blinked rapidly trying to process the information. "What happened?" he stuttered out.

"You were hit from behind by a truck, that sent you hurtling into a post," she answered. "You hit the steering column, and the windshield."

"But... the airbag? The seat belt?" he asked, unable to stop the confused expression.

"The airbag didn't deploy, and the seat belt failed to hold the tension."

"Was there anyone else involved?"

"No. The driver of the truck managed to get away with a few scratches and bruising. You however weren't so lucky." She gave him a sad smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"You have a lot of bruising, so your whole body probably aches. You have several fractured ribs so you need to be careful, plus bruising on your sternum and you have a head injury."

"Okay," he whispered leaning back into the pillows slightly.

"You hit the windshield pretty hard, and with the swelling on the brain too, you've been in a coma for 3 weeks."

"3 weeks!" he exclaimed wide eyed trying to sit up.

"Oliver, relax, you need to take it easy for me."

"I've been in a coma for 3 weeks?" he whispered in disbelief.

"Yes, due to the swelling on the brain we decided it best to keep it that way, so no more damage could incur."

"But I'm okay? My head and everything?" he asked still a little startled.

"Well you need to stay in a little while longer so we can observe you but the fact you can remember-"

"I can't the accident."

"That's normal," she reassured him. "But you're responsive and talking, and my guess, in a little discomfort."

"Yes," he replied his hand rubbing his sides gingerly.

"Okay, well I'll just go request some painkillers and get some more tests ordered, but it's good to have you back, Oliver," she added with a warm smile before walking away.

Oliver watched as she gently touched the arm of the blonde at the foot of his bed. She had remained silent for the whole exchange. Her hair was pulled up messily, and her eyes looked red and puffy. She looked tired as stared at him with clear concern, her teeth chewing on her bottom lip.

"Do you perhaps know where my girlfriend is?" he asked staring at her and she frowned crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's not funny Oliver," she replied giving him a slight glare as she edged closer.

He frowned at her not understanding. "I wasn't trying to be," he answered still looking at her as she walked even closer taking his hand in her own.

"Hahaha," she replied sarcastically before he pulled his hand from hers. He looked up at her as she stared down at him in disbelief. "You do know who I am right?" she asked.

"My doctor," he replied with a tiny shrug. Instantly he watched her expression fall, a sadness and pain spreading across her whole being as her shoulders slumped and without a beat passing, the doctor rushed back over.

"Oliver, do you not remember this woman?" she asked.

"No, but you said that was normal," he responded looking between the two. The doctor gave the blonde a half hearted smile. "Where's my family? Where's Laurel?" The blonde's face fell further, and a part of him wanted to reach out and comfort her, but he didn't understand why as he frowned up at her.

"Oliver what's the last thing you remember?" the doctor asked pulling his eyes from the woman.

"I... errrmmm... I dropped out of another college, mom and dad want me to start shadowing at the company."

The doctor only nodded slowly before looking in the blonde's direction. "Felicity?" she said softly. The name sound familiar as Oliver tried to place it in his groggy, muddled thoughts. He glanced towards her, her back was turned away as he could hear the distinct sounds of someone trying to control their sobs. He once again wanted to reach out for her, but he did not know this woman. "Mrs Queen," the doctor said forcibly. Olivers head snapped back looking for his mother, until Felicity spoke.

"He dropped out of college when he was 22." He frowned not understanding, why she was responding to Mrs Queen? Why she was talking about him in the past tense? "He's lost the memories of the last 5 years, he's lost the memory of me..." she choked holding back the tears. "The memory of us."

* * *

"So I can go home?" Oliver asked as he stood beside his bed.

"We have been observing you and running tests for two weeks now Mr Queen, and absolutely everything has come back okay," the doctor answered.

"But..." Felicity went to speak from her position in the chair, her eyes glancing at Oliver before he turned to her with a puzzled expression. "It doesn't matter," she mumbled her eyes dropping to the ground.

"But what about my memories?" he asked for her, clearly knowing what she wanted to ask. She slowly lifted her head whilst Oliver looked back at the doctor.

"Mr Queen, we can see no permanent damage on any scan. You have a little swelling which could be causing the memory loss but as the neurologist explained-"

"The brain's complex," he interrupted and instantly she nodded with a smile.

"See you're retaining memories easily now."

"But the last 5 years, they're gone."

"Yes, and sadly that could be permanent, or it might not. It's why we'll do some follow up appointments and I'll get you numbers for the top therapists in the city, who help with these sort of things."

"Do you think I'll ever remember?" he asked and Felicity felt her heart beating wildly in her chest.

"Sadly, we don't know, and only time will tell," she answered giving her a sympathetic smile.

"Okay, and thank you Dr. Jones," Oliver replied.

"My pleasure Mr. Queen, now let me just go sort this paperwork and you'll be good to go." She smiled as she walked out.

The room fell into silence once more, one that gradually, Felicity had been getting used to these last 2 weeks. Oliver hadn't always been the biggest talker in the world, but he had always shared his thoughts with her. But now he was stood there, barely moving and not even glancing in her direction. She couldn't help the nervous energy that buzzed throughout her body. Finally she stood up and walked towards the window trying desperately to get her mind back on track.

"So..." Olivers voice broke through. She didn't turn to face him as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"So?" she replied back.

"How do we do this?" he asked his voice sounding slightly hesitant. "I mean, I'm 27, but I feel like I'm 22... and I'm married..."

She quickly turned around to face him. He held the thick silver band between his finger and thumb, like it was something foreign to him, which Felicity quickly realised it was. She stepped towards him tentatively, before wrapping her hand around the band and his fingers. Instantly his head snapped up to hers, his eyes full of wonder as he took her in.

"We take this one day at time," she reassured him. "And forget about this." She plucked the ring from his fingers before reaching around to undo the chain around her neck. She easily slipped the band on letting it fall back into place beside her heart. "I'll keep it, until you're ready."

He gave her nod of understanding. "Okay."

She watched his shoulders ease, some of the tension and pressure easing. "Hi I'm Felicity Smoak," she said sticking her hand out.

She watched as he frowned clearly not understanding before it dawned on him. "Oliver Queen," he answered taking her hand with an easy smile. One that Felicity knew all too well as his charismatic grin that didn't really reach his eyes. "I hope this will be the start of something wonderful," he whispered not letting her hand go as he winked at her. She couldn't help the blush that crept up her cheeks as her own husband flirted with her. But he didn't feel like her husband right now.

"Ollie!" A woman's voice broke the moment. She glanced toward the door at the same time as he did. Oliver let her hand go as he stared at the young woman before him.

"Speedy?" he asked with a frown, and Felicity stepped back to give them room.

"The one and only," she replied with a mock bow.

"God... you look so different," he whispered as he engulfed her in his arms.

"Well considering you probably think I'm 17... yep," she mumbled into his chest before pulling back.

"Your hairs shorter," he replied staring at her before he frowned deeply. "But how do you know I think you're 17?"

"Felicity told me of course." She nodded in her direction and Felicity gave a small smile in return. "She's been keeping me in the loop on your progress since the accident. I mean I've been here with her until you woke up because I had a work thing," she said brushing it off. "But I'm here now."

"You're working?" he asked staring at her.

"Of course I am, I'm 22 Ollie."

"Sorry, it just doesn't feel like that," he murmured.

"Hey, that's okay," she replied smiling. "You're still my big brother, and I'm your baby sister," she added playfully. Felicity watched as he embraced her once more like he was holding onto for dear life.

"I love you Speedy," he mumbled into her hair, and Felicity's heart sank as she longed to hear him say those 3 words to her.

"I love you too," Thea whispered back, "but we gotta share the love," she added pulling away from him and turning towards Felicity. She could feel the unshed tears stinging her eyes as Thea wrapped her arms around her.

Felicity embraced her back, wishing that she could do the same to Oliver but knowing right now she couldn't. "I'm sorry I wasn't here," Thea whispered into her ear.

"It's okay," Felicity replied pulling back, trying to muster up a smile. Thea frowned not letting going of her, but Felicity could see Oliver stood there awkwardly, his hands in his jeans pockets glancing at the pair looking like a lost little boy.

"OH, my baby boy."

Instantly Thea tensed in Felicity's arms as she groaned beside her. "I had no idea she followed me," she whispered into her ear before turning. Moira was hugging her son awkwardly, as he glanced down at her whilst Robert walked casually into the room. Felicity could feel Thea's eyes on her, as she stayed beside her.

"Son," Robert said placing his hand on his shoulder before Moira pulled back.

"Mom, dad... what are you doing here? Felicity said you were on a business trip," Oliver asked.

"Well Miss Smoak-"

"Mrs Queen," Thea jumped in, and instantly Moira glared at her, making a shiver run down even Felicity's spine.

"As I was saying, she should know we would never pass up the opportunity to take our boy home."

"Home?" Felicity asked.

"Yes, our son is coming home with us," Robert answered with no room for argument. Felicity could feel the anger oozing from Thea as her body trembled.

"The doctors said that I should go home with Felicity, to help my memory," Oliver answered, his confused frown making him appear even more boyish and lost.

"No, you should come home with us, to the mansion, where you know the best," Moira insisted, staring at him and seemingly ignoring the two women.

"Yes, cause he should totally ignore the trained medical professional," Thea answered rolling her eyes.

"Don't take that tone with your mother," Robert shot back.

"I'm not a child, you don't get to tell me what to do," she replied standing taller, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Thea, leave your father alone," Moira jumped in.

"Oh please..." she answered shaking her head as Felicity could tell that Oliver was confused with the clear animosity between them all.

"You will listen to me-" Robert started.

"I haven't in years, not about college, not about moving out and certainly not about my upcoming wedding and just because Oliver's lost his memory doesn't mean I have," she snapped.

"Wait you're getting married?" Oliver asked stunned, causing everyone to look at him.

"Yes Ollie, in a couple of months, you're giving me away."

"I am?" he asked, his whole face scrunching up in confusion.

"Now's not the time for this," Moira jumped in. "Oliver, you're best chance at recovery is coming home with us." She gestured between herself and Robert.

"But the doctor-"

"She is nothing on our private physicians," Robert added. "We'll get you fixed up son." Felicity watched with her heart hammering in her chest as everything she feared started to come true.

"I... I..." Oliver stared at the pair before his eyes glanced at Felicity.

"If you want to go home to your parents, if you want to be the man you were back then," she gestured at them, "then I can't stop you-"

"Felicity!" Thea said grasping her arm.

"No, it's okay Thea," she answered giving her a soft smile before turning back to him. "Honestly Oliver, I will support every decision you make but if you want to remember being the man I married, to recognise the man you have become now then I would recommend coming home with me." Oliver stared at her, his eyes searching her face just liked he did when they first moved in together.

"Oh Oliver, don't be so silly," Moira said. "You don't even know her."

"I think you'll find she was the one there when you turned your backs on him."

"Thea!" Moira scolded.

"So Mr Queen I have your- oh I didn't realise everyone had come to see you," Dr Jones said stepping into the room.

"Robert Queen." He stuck his hand out and she took it straight away.

"Hi, I'm Dr Jones. I've been taking care of your son."

"We can take it from here," Moira answered stepping forward.

"Well actually I've discharged Oliver into Felicity's care." She gestured towards her. "And hello again Thea."

"Hello," Thea responded with a smile.

"Well we know what's best for our son," Robert added timely.

"Actually, your sons 27-"

"But thinks he's 22. We will get him seen by professionals."

"Mother!" Oliver snapped. "Dr. Jones has taken great care over me, she has gone above and beyond for my recovery. I don't need you to throw money at it to make it all better, this is something I have to do. So I'm going to go back with Felicity." Instantly a breath escaped Felicity that she hadn't even realised she was holding. She looked up to see Moira's scowl as she straightened her spine. "I think the doctors right, I need to try to remember something from the last 5 years but I hope you'll still be apart of it all, that I can still rely on you, both."

"Of course," Moira answered.

"Anything you need son," Robert added.

"But I guess we should leave you to settle then."

"You don't have to go mom."

"No we should be heading back," Robert replied glancing at his watch. "Can't leave the company for too long."

"Well thanks for coming, bye."

"Goodbye Oliver," Moira replied placing a kiss to his cheek.

"See you, son," Robert added before the pair walked out.

"So as I was saying, I have the numbers for several therapists, and your discharge notes. There are several numbers incase you need to get back in touch, and we'll be sending info for follow ups, okay?"

"Sure," Oliver answered.

"We'll sort it," Felicity replied stepping forward and taking the paperwork. She knew she needed to take charge now, to help them both, to try to help him recover.

"Plus you always have me to help too," Thea added with a smile.

"Thank you," Oliver whispered. "All of you, for everything."

"It's what I'm paid to do Mr Queen. So good luck with your recovery." She stuck her hand out and he shook it with an easy smile. Felicity watched as her heart clenched in her chest wondering how on earth they'd make it work, how she'd be able to help him gain his memories. She was so lost in thought she never heard the doctor leave, never noticed the siblings talking until Oliver spoke.

"I guess we should be going then."

"Yes, let's go home."


	2. Like A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: I want to thank you everyone for the genuine loveliness of my return, and the opening of this fic. THANK YOU...

Oliver lay there silently in the strange house, in the strange room, in the strange bed that was supposedly his home. He had been there for 10 days, learning about his old life from photographs and videos, and of course what Felicity had told him. But none of it felt real, it all felt like a dream and so he hadn't ventured out, he hadn't questioned much instead just going through the motions.

He would wake early, something he had never done in his life, only to be told by Felicity that's what he did now. He woke up early and exercised apparently, and even though he had no intention of using the home gym, his body still woke up at this ridiculous hour.

So he lay there silently, knowing full well he wouldn't hear Felicity for several more hours in which he presumed was the room they used to share. He sighed rolling over before he heard a bang coming from downstairs. Oliver didn't even hesitate as he jumped out of bed and headed towards the noise, unsure of his sudden need to protect deep in his chest.

He crept down the final steps turning his attention to the kitchen where he could hear the mumbles of Felicity. He slowly made his way to the room, he stopped in the doorway leaning against the cool wooden frame as he watched the scene in front of him. Felicity was in a short purple dress, allowing Oliver to see the creamy skin of her legs, as she was leant over the floor mopping up what appeared to be a pool of coffee.

He stepped closer grabbing some paper towels off the counter. "Here let me help you," he said softly.

Instantly he watched her body jerk, her hand crashing to her chest. "Oh, Oliver… you scared me."

"Sorry," he replied bending down to help clear the mess. He carefully mopped up the still hot liquid as she picked up pieces of a broken mug. "How'd this happen?" He asked not looking in her direction as she stood up to place the broken pieces in the trash.

"I just wasn't paying attention, knocked it over," she answered.

Oliver nodded absently as he made sure all the coffee was removed from the tiled floor. "Well you are up early," he said standing up straight. He glanced in her direction to find her staring at him. Her eyes trailing the length of his body, her cheeks flushing as her eyes finally met his. He couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face at the realisation that he was in fact only in boxers and a white tee and she was checking him out.

"I… I have work," she rushed out with a shake of her head.

"I thought you worked from home?" he asked, walking passed her to place the dirty paper towels in the trash.

"I do, mostly," she answered turning back to the coffee machine.

"Oh," Oliver replied before sitting down at the kitchen table, with all the photos he'd spent hours each day staring at.

"I don't have to go," she added spinning to face him.

"No it's your job," he encouraged with a smile.

"I'll only be gone a few hours, and I'll be with Diggle so you can call anytime-" she babbled.

"Wait, you work with Diggle, as in John Diggle my old body guard?"

"Yes, I help with his security business, I help with the cyber side," she confirmed with a smile. "Do you want me to make you breakfast?"

"No I'm sure I can manage," he answered, remembering the previously burnt pancakes and waffles. "I'm not that hungry yet."

"If you're sure?"

"Yep," he mumbled, once again looking at the photos. He stared at the collection, not remembering any of the events, barely recognising the aging faces of Tommy, Thea and himself. He recognised Diggle, and a handful of faces from his past but there were many he didn't and of course his parents were absent everywhere.

"Are you okay?" Felicity asked. He glanced up to see her looking at him, her eyes speaking more than any words could. She looked troubled, but not for herself, for him. The concern was written all over her face as she tilted her head and her nose scrunched up a little.

"I'm fine," he replied flashing his trademark smile, but her face crumbled further before she nodded turning quickly back to the newly brewed coffee.

He watched her for a moment, trying to figure out what had caused her to turn away. "Felicity?" he barely whispered.

She slowly turned to face him, a small encouraging smile barely gracing her lips. "Yes?" she asked back tentatively.

"I know… I know you said that my parents weren't around much, but… why? And what happened to Laurel? How did all this come to be?" He gestured around the space, voicing some of the many questions running around his head.

She stared at him for a minute before sitting in the seat beside him. "Laurel and you broke up after some bad times, I… I don't know everything but I promise I'll find a way for you to find out, if you need to."

"Okay," he replied with a nod, continuing to look at the photos.

"As for your parents," she took a deep breath, "that's really complicated. After you dropped out of your last college, your parents wanted you to shadow your father and it didn't go so well." He watched as she gave him a sympathetic smile. "They wanted you to grow up, and they cut you off, no more trust fund, no paying for anything for you anymore."

"So I never forgave them?" he asked, still not fully understanding.

"Honestly, things with your parents have been strained for years, it was a combination of a lot of thing-"

"But they didn't even come to our wedding," he said absently looking at the photo of them clearly on their wedding day.

"No, they didn't but we wanted a small private ceremony anyway," she answered as she gave him a soft smile.

"But…"

"My family wasn't there either," she spoke softly. "Things were complicated and your parents have never seemed to be happy with me as your wife."

He frowned as she stared at her hands not meeting his eyes. "Why?"

"I don't know," she whispered nervously picking at her nails. "But I don't think-" The phone on the table starting ringing causing her to pause. She glanced at the name on the screen. "It's John."

"That's okay, get it," he found himself replying as she stood up and answered.

"Hey Dig, yes I'm leaving now. Yes right now, I was just talking to Oliver. Yes he's okay, he says it's fine." She looked at him then and he gave her a small smile.

"Go, I'm fine."

"Okay, I'll see you soon." With that she hung up, grabbing the travel mug of coffee off the side. She turned to Oliver leaning close before instantly pulling back.

"Sorry, I… I forgot-"

"It's fine."

"Well your phone's on the side, we have food in, lots of things to keep you entertained-"

"I'm sure I can manage a few hours on my own," he said trying to ease her.

"If you need anything just call."

"I will."

"Okay, well I'll see you later."

"You will indeed," he responded as she walked out the kitchen and left the house. Oliver sat there in the silence for a moment until he stood up deciding he better get dressed.

* * *

2 hours of boredom later and Oliver was getting frustrated. He'd been roaming around the house hoping to remember something, well really at this point anything, but nothing seemed to work. He spent time in the bathroom staring at all the products, he studied pieces of furniture wondering about the stories behind them but all he felt was completely disconnected and kind of lonely. He had even been in the gym just to see if something jogged his memory, but all that did was frustrate him further. He even debated whether to go into Felicity, and presumably his, room but something stopped him; he merely stood there with his hand on the doorknob before turning away with a frustrated sigh.

So that was why Oliver was stood in the kitchen looking out onto the garden, the sun was shining almost taunting him as he finally made a decision. He grabbed his coat from the chair, and grabbed his keys from the side before he walked out the house.

The instant the breeze touched his skin he took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill his lungs. He glanced around him, noting all the things he'd missed when Felicity had brought him here. The house was on a very quiet street, clearly on the outskirts of Star City, much like the mansion. But this house had neighbours. Oliver looked around before he stepped down the path and out the gate, heading down the street and away from the place he did not know, towards the city he did.

He had no idea how long he had been walking, no idea how far his feet had carried him but finally he recognised the places around him and for the first time in 10 days he felt an instant wave of tension leave his shoulders. He smiled happily at the business skyscrapers, and the variety of coffee shops, restaurants, and businesses all compact into the city centre he remembered so well. He was walking around aimlessly when his stomach growled and instantly he walked to his favourite place to eat, Big Belly Burger.

After he ate his burger in silence, several people staring at him and of course the waitress cooing over him, he thought he should probably get back before Felicity realised he was gone. He made to leave as the waitress cleared his plate and handed him a napkin, he stared at it in confusion as she winked at him walking away. He glanced down at the fabric noting the phone number she had scrawled across it.

"Still got it," he mumbled to himself with a shake of his head and a dopey smile. He screwed the fabric up placing it in his pocket as he finally stepped outside. He took a few steps into the street, before it finally dawned on him that he had no idea where he lived. He stood there frozen in place trying to remember which direction he had come from, but all he could remember was how to get to the mansion. He reached into his pockets looking for his phone.

"Crap!" he groaned, earning a few glares from people passing him. He'd left the phone at home, and he had no idea where exactly home was. He pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes closing as he sighed heavily. He could feel the tension and anxiety creeping back. He'd really not thought anything through. He took a deep breath, opening his eyes. He could go someplace he knew, and only one place in the centre of Star City which made sense; Queens Consolidated.

* * *

"Dig you really didn't have to bring me home," Felicity spoke softly.

"Well I didn't realise that you still hadn't got your car sorted, which by the way I will get done."

"No, no you don't have to."

"I want to. I'm here for you and Oliver."

"I know, everyone's been giving us a breather to get back to normal-"

"But things aren't I'm guessing?"

"No, he… he seems distant. Today was the first day he asked me questions about the past 5 years but it was all about Laurel and his parents." She glanced to see Diggle grimace slightly as he pulled the car up and slipped it into park.

"Well that's only natural," he replied turning to face her.

"I know, but I just…" she took a deep breath. "I don't know what to tell him-"

"The truth." he interrupted her.

"No, I know that but the whole truth, everything? It's a lot for one person to take."

"Then we'll all find a way to tell him a little at a time," he reassured her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "You aren't alone in this, neither is Oliver."

"I know, he hasn't even set up therapy yet," she said nervously nibbling at her lip. "He just, he seems like he doesn't want to be here, and it's hard to not touch him, and not kiss him, to keep this barrier up," she added holding back the tears.

"Hey that's normal. I'm sure once he's more comfortable around you, he'll be okay with the touches. He was never bothered when you two first moved in together," Diggle encouraged with a smile.

"I know, it's really not been that long. I'm just worried about nothing," she replied with a half hearted smile.

She moved her hand to the door handle ready to open it before Diggle grabbed her wrist gently. "Hey, if you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate. You have every right to be worried."

"Thank you John," she replied sincerely before they both got out his car.

"So I'm guessing Oliver is inside?"

"Yep, he doesn't really do much, just watches TV and stares at the photos," she answered with a shrug.

"Hey he just needs to readjust," he replied hopefully. Felicity nodded as she grabbed for the front door handle, she frowned when she realised it was locked. "Everything okay?" Dig asked as she searched her bag.

"The doors just locked, Oliver usually just leaves it open," she answered, successfully finding her keys and unlocking the door before stepping in.

"Maybe he went in the shower, or is in the gym?" She could tell Dig was just trying to reassure her but something didn't seem right.

"Oliver?" she shouted. "Oliver!" She stepped towards the bottom of the staircase unable to hear any running water. "Oliver," she shouted again.

"I'll go downstairs and check the gym," Diggle offered.

"Okay, I'll have a look around." She made her way into the kitchen, glancing for any signs that he'd been here. She stared at the empty room, nothing any different to when she had left. She noticed his phone on the side.

"He isn't down there," Diggle declared as he stepped into the room.

"Where could he possibly be?" Felicity questioned, unable to hide the anxiety and worry in her voice.

"Can't you check the CCTV?"

"Yes, of course." She was just about to step out of the kitchen when her phone rang loudly. She glanced down at her vibrating pocket pulling the phone out and not even looking at the name. "Hello? Oliver is that you?"

"Felicity, no no it's Curtis."

"Oh Curtis! Sorry, I was just expecting a call from Oliver."

"Well on that note Oliver's here."

"What? Olivers at yours?" She frowned pretty certain he wouldn't even remember Curtis.

"No, of course not. He's at QC."

"What? How did he manage that?"

"Well…" she could hear him moving around before whispering. "The chatter around here is that he got lost in town and couldn't remember where he lived so he came here."

"Oh right," Felicity answered taking a deep breath to try to calm her nerves.

"I'm guessing no one here got in touch?"

"Nope, but that's not really a surprise."

"Well I thought I'd call."

"Thank you Curtis, truly."

"It's no problem. Just trying to help."

"Well you have."

"Good, well I have to get back to work. Talk soon."

"Bye." Felicity hung up letting her shoulders sag.

"So where is he?" Diggle asked.

"He's at QC," she whispered feeling defeat running through her veins.

"Well we better go collect him then," Diggle replied heading towards the door.

"We?"

"Yes, you don't think I'm going to let you face all that alone, do you?" Felicity couldn't help the small smile that graced her lips at Diggles words as she followed him.

* * *

"Excuse me! You need an appointment to go in there!" The young EA shouted as Felicity headed straight towards Roberts office. She pulled the door open and instantly Roberts eyes snapped forward and Oliver span in his chair. "Miss, Sir, I'll have to ask you leave or I will call security!"

"Felicity? Diggle?" Oliver asked frowning deeply.

"It's okay Joanne," Robert spoke firmly.

"But Mr Queen-"

"How did you know where I was?" Oliver asked with genuine curiosity.

"I got my secretary to call Miss Smoak," Robert said as Felicity frowned at him. She even noted the frown on the EAs face as she left the room. Oliver turned back to his father. "Well you did say you'd come out without telling anyone and forgot your phone."

"Oh well, yes, thanks father," Oliver replied with a nod as he stood up.

"Well don't forgot what I said, son," Robert said standing and walking round to give him an awkward hug.

Felicity glanced at Diggle, who had stood there the whole time with his arms crossed. He raised his eyebrow skeptically as he leant in closer and whispered, "Is that dude for real?"

She couldn't help the smirk and laugh she hid as she answered him, "Sadly yes."

"It was good to see you," Robert added finally letting him go.

"Same," Oliver answered as he stepped towards the pair. "But I should probably be getting back."

"Of course," Robert agreed raising his hand in gesture to the door. Felicity smiled as Oliver looked at her then at Diggle.

"Diggle! How are you?" Oliver asked as the pair headed towards the door.

"I'm great man, and I've heard you've been better," Dig joked a little earning a genuine laugh from him which made Felicity smile.

"Miss Smoak," Robert shouted as she reached the door. She stopped as Oliver turned back too. "Could I have a word?" She watched as a frown appeared along Oliver's brow and Diggle turned squaring his shoulders. "In private."

"Sure," she answered still not looking in Robert's direction. "I'll be down in a second, you guys wait in the car I'll can catch up."

"Are you sure?" Diggle questioned and Oliver's eyes snapped to his face clearly confused by the tone of Digs voice.

"Yes, I'll be fine," She reassured, nodding for them to go. Dig gave her a stern nod before she turned back towards Robert closing the door behind her. She watched as Robert walked back to his seat and sat down.

"Please do sit Miss Smoak."

"It's Mrs Queen to you." She watched as his jaw twitched and his nostrils flared, she'd clearly hit a nerve. "And I prefer to stand, thank you."

"So be it," Robert replied leaning back in his chair as Felicity took several steps closer.

"So what do you want Robert?" she asked directly. "I don't think you actually asked me stay behind to talk about Oliver's welfare."

"Actually I do," he replied staring at her.

"And?" she asked squaring her shoulders ready for what was about to come.

"He's been with you for 10 days and he's clearly miserable. He doesn't know who you are and he can't even remember where he lives-"

"That will change with time," she answered.

"He should be around people he remembers, locations he remembers."

"So with you? And Moira? Here and at the Mansion?"

"Exactly," he responded sitting straighter. "He deserves the best."

Felicity couldn't help but laugh. "No, what you mean is you can turn him into the son you wanted all those years ago."

"This isn't about the past-"

"No, it's about your son figuring out who he is."

"Well then if that's the case you should divorce him."

"Excuse me?" Felicity snapped out.

"If you're so invested in him figuring it all out, you should divorce him so he has a chance at living the life he should."

"In sickness and in health, for better or for worse." Felicity took a deep breath. "I took my vows seriously Robert," she retorted not even hiding the meaning behind the words. "As long as he wants me to be a part of his life then I will never walk away. I'll be there for him and there is nothing you can do to stop it." She turned then heading towards the door, sick of this conversation.

"What happens if he doesn't want you anymore?" Felicity froze. "What if he never loves you like he used to?"

"I will do whatever is needed to make him happy."

"As will I," Robert responded.

Felicity shook her head as she grabbed the door handle. "You've already proven several times that his happiness isn't as important to you as your name, your "legacy", all of this." She gestured around.

"Well here's the thing Miss Smoak, the past can be rewritten," Robert answered with a smirk.

"Yes, and it can also come back to bite you. Goodbye." Felicity didn't even turn to look at him as she opened the door and left, making sure to slam the door behind her.


	3. Support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: As always thank you for your support, I am well into writing this so you can stay safe knowing I’m chapters ahead (just not in editing :P) which means everything is planned out ;)... SO ENJOY!

"So if I'm not working for my parents what do I do?" Oliver asked as he stood looking outside.

"Well..." Felicity tried to find the words as she desperately tried not to burn the omelette she was cooking.

"Let me guess, it's complicated," he deadpanned. His words cut her instantly, he'd been even more distant, if not cold since he'd been to visit his father yesterday.

His back was still towards her as she looked towards him. "No actually it isn't," she replied staring at him as he turned to look at her, waiting for her to carry on. "You bounced around several jobs but never lasted long, then you and Tommy opened a nightclub, which is now several nightclubs... and you decided to pursue a passion and open a restaurant."

"My passion was a restaurant?" he asked skeptically.

"No actually your passion was cooking." She glanced back to the omelette now looking a little darker than envisioned. "Because I'm not the cook."

"Clearly," he mumbled watching as she scraped it into the bin.

"Well I'm better at other things," she answered and he merely nodded in response. He stood glancing at her before he spun back around to look out the doors into the garden. "You do realise I'm not keeping you prisoner here, Oliver?"

"What?"

"This place is your home, not a prison. You can come and go as you please, and talk to anyone you like. You know that right?"

"Yes, of course."

"I just..." She took a deep breath. "I don't want you to think I'm stopping you from, well, living."

He turned to look at her, staring into her eyes his expression neutral. "It's just different," he replied with a shrug.

She stepped closer. "I know, and I know that all of this is a lot to take in but that's why the doctor offered help-"

"I don't want that," he snapped.

"But they-"

"No, I don't need to talk to some person about my "feelings" it's just a waste of everyone's time."

"Okay," she replied turning back to the disaster of food she had failed to create. She tried to ignore the anxiety she felt running down her spine as she set about cleaning.

"Why do you try to cook if you can't?" he asked again not facing her.

"Because... I didn't... I don't want you to feel any pressure," she answered. "I mean I don't expect you to just pick up everything how you left it, and I just... I didn't want you to feel forced into anything. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and to be who you want to be with no pressures-"

"Felicity," he said her name softly and her eyes lifted from the pots she was scrubbing to look at his face.

"Sorry, I babble, I should shut up," she replied unable to stop the blush on her cheeks.

"It's fine. You don't ever need to shut up for me." He gave her a smile, and not a charming fake one but one she recognised, one that used to send her heart into flutters and seemingly still did. She couldn't help the goofy smile on her face as she nodded at him. "So what's happening to everything, if you're here with me and I can't handle it?"

"Oh, Thea, Tommy and John are helping with everything so you don't need to worry," she answered expecting him to ask more questions.

"Okay," he replied simply.

"Is there anything else you want to ask? Or know?" She looked up at him as he frowned slightly. "I just want you to know I'm here if you have any questions."

"Right," he replied with a nod. "Lot's of different things." He tapped the side of his head.

"Well if you don't want to ask right now or think of things later, just write them down," she encouraged.

"Okay," he said again. "And thank you." She couldn't help the smile as he returned it. She went back to her cleaning task as he continued to look out the patio doors and into the garden.

He looked lost, which wasn't exactly a surprise these days but Felicity couldn't get over how young he looked especially now he was shaving completely. His stubbled and beard look now gone, instead replaced with a younger faced version of her husband, both physically and mentally. He seemed wrapped in his own little bubble, and it hurt her heart to think he wasn't sharing any of his thoughts and feelings and in turn was hurting himself. She stepped forward, drying her hands on a towel which she threw over her shoulder.

"You can go out there," she said as she tenderly without thought placed her hand on his back. She felt the shiver run through him before his unused muscles tensed. She quickly pulled away. "Sorry," she whispered placing her hands by her sides. She slowly glanced in his direction to see him already staring at her, unblinking.

"It all feels so different," he mumbled with a frown. "It looks so different to the mansion gardens."

"Well it's smaller," Felicity answered glancing back outside.

"It just feels... familiar."

Instantly Felicity turned towards him. "In what way?"

"I don't know," he answered looking even more lost.

"Well why don't you go out there? Have a look around?"

"Okay," he mumbled staring outside. Felicity leant forward sliding the door open for him to leave.

"I'll be right here if you need anything." He nodded as he stepped onto the patio and then walked down the few steps onto the garden. Felicity watched him for a minute as he slowly walked down the path glancing at the trees and flowers before she grabbed her phone. She hit dial without even thinking.

"Hey Felicity!" Thea shrieked down the phone.

"Hi."

"Is everything okay?"

"Errmmm... yeh, I just... I thought it might be nice for Oliver to catch up with you, maybe Tommy too."

"Oh, we just thought maybe you'd like some time for him to remember you, the both of you."

"The thing is... he doesn't remember anything. In fact he ended up at QC yesterday."

"WHAT? Why didn't you ring me sooner?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that bad until now, he seems even more distant."

"I'll talk to Tommy and we'll be over as soon as possible, okay?"

"Thea, there's no rush. Nothing is going to change that quickly."

"Well I think it's time we helped you out."

"Thank you," Felicity whispered trying to hold in her emotions.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" Thea asked softly.

"Things are just... more difficult than I imagined," she answered truthfully. "So god only knows what's happening with Oliver."

"He isn't talking to you?"

"Nope, but I shouldn't have expected him to. He... he doesn't know me," she whispered struggling to control her voice.

"Hey, he'll remember. I'm sure of it."

"I... I hope so," she admitted.

"Well I promise, we'll support you more."

"But you have a wedding-"

"And my family is more important," she replied. "We'll be over soon."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

 

Oliver sat on the living room chair, the TV on as background noise as he just reclined there. He had a tumbler of whiskey in hand gently rolling the cool glass against his forehead. His eyes were closed as the dull ache radiated from his temples. He groaned as the visions of a dark haired woman assaulted his brain once more, since yesterday meeting with his father he kept having this same flash of long dark hair. He snapped his eyes open with a sigh. Who was this woman? Why was he seeing her? He took a quick sip of his whiskey, feeling the burn sliding down his throat as he welcomed the slight numbness that followed. He stared at the screen not really watching when he heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it," he heard Felicity call from wherever she had disappeared to in the house. He heard muffled voices as he sat up a little straighter.

"Thea and Tommy have come to see you," Felicity announced as she stepped into the room. He glanced up to as the pair walked in.

"Thomas Merlyn!" Oliver exclaimed as he got to his feet engulfing him in a hug. Tommy laughed in response before letting go. "And my baby sister," he added turning to Thea and hugging her tightly.

He'd never been much of a touchy person, but right now he just wanted to feel the warmth of people that loved him, people that he knew. He glanced at Felicity, who was staring at her feet, her arms behind her back clearly struggling to not reach out again. It was obvious her nature was to comfort with touches and caresses but every time she touched him, it felt foreign and unfamiliar.

"I'll leave you guys to it."

"Oh no, don't leave on our account," Thea answered pulling from Oliver's arms.

"No it's fine, you should all catch up. I have work to do anyway, but if you want anything just let me know."

"Of course," Tommy added with his trademark smile before sitting down on the sofa. Thea walked around joining them as Oliver watched Felicity walking with her shoulders slumped out the room.

"So someone's day drinking?" Thea teased noting the glass on the coffee table.

"Helps with the pain," Oliver answered with a shrug as he dropped into the chair.

"You're in pain?" Tommy asked.

"Just some headaches, doctor said it's normal after everything."

"Oh so you've been back for a follow up?" Thea asked.

"Nope."

"Why not?" she asked with a frown.

"Because I don't need to."

"You're kidding me right?" Thea snapped back. "Ollie you were in a major accident!"

"And?" Oliver shouted. "I know my own body, I am fine."

Thea rolled her eyes, clearly about to say more until Tommy jumped in. "Well how about we talk about something else? How about the wedding?"

"The wedding?" Oliver asked. "Please tell me you two aren't getting married?"

"WHAT?" they both exclaimed staring at each other.

"No, nope, that's just gross, we're r-"

"I'm already married dude," Tommy cut in, giving Thea a glare. Oliver glanced to see her frowning slightly and he felt like there was something they weren't telling him.

"What? How'd the hell did you manage to find some poor sap to marry you?" Oliver joked.

"Haha," Tommy replied sarcastically. "I fell in love," he added with a goofy smile.

"I find that hard to believe," Oliver answered with a shake of his head.

"Well we all have to grow up eventually," Tommy said with a shrug.

"Or find the right reasons to," Thea added.

Oliver nodded not really understanding his sister as his mind raced with so many questions, his temples still pounding. "What happened with Laurel and I?" he asked.

"You broke her heart," Tommy responded instantly.

"How so?" he asked, watching Tommy's jaw tighten and his fists clenched like he was uncomfortable.

"You cheated on her Ollie," Thea replied.

"But when I had indiscretions in the past she forgave me."

"Not when it was with her own sister," Tommy ushered out through clenched teeth.

"Sara? I cheated with Sara?"

"Yep." Thea nodded.

"Why? Why would I do that?" he asked in disbelief. "I don't understand."

"Hey, that's in the past," Thea jumped in. "Laurels a big girl, she forgave you long ago."

"But not enough to be with me," he replied looking down.

"You cheated with her baby sister Oliver," Tommy said in clear anger. "What did you expect her to do?"

"But you two, weren't right for each other anyway," Thea added. "Your partner is supposed to help bring out the best in you, not destroy you like you pair did. I'm certain Laurel has that now. Just as you do Oliver."

"Huh?"

"With Felicity. You two were the ones that made love look easy, made it all that kind of love people reached for and believed in," she continued.

"But... I don't... I don't remember any of it," he replied all of it sounding odd.

"Well you two have been living together for like 5 years now," Tommy added.

"But why? What happened?"

"Haven't you asked Felicity any of this?" Tommy asked sitting straighter.

"I didn't know how to approach the subject, there's all these photos of us together and the wedding video but something just doesn't feel right."

"Well of course not dude, you can't remember any of your life together," he answered.

"I know that, but you'd think I could remember something."

"But it isn't that simple," Thea said sadly. "You can't force it, but you can talk to her."

"But what happened with mum and dad?" he asked. "How did I end up living with Felicity?"

"After you and Laurel split up you went off the rails, drugs and alcohol," Tommy answered honestly. "Well, even more so, you just saw life as one giant party."

"And when you started to not turn up at QC, or turned up drunk, they gave you an ultimatum. Get cleaned up, get your life together or get cut off," Thea continued.

"So I guess I didn't get clean?"

"Nope, they kicked you out and took away your trust fund."

"And how'd I end up with Felicity?"

"Well I was going off to college."

"And I was getting my act together," Tommy added. "You said you didn't need my help, and that you couldn't stay with Diggle because of baby Andy being born."

"So I ended up at Felicity's? Someone I don't even know?" He frowned.

"You'd known each other about 6 months by that point, in fact she was the only reason you kept going to QC, you did tell me she would be a great lay until you could sweet talk your parents," Tommy revealed.

"But you completely got her wrong," Thea added with a laugh. "She was tougher than us all." Oliver couldn't help the rise of his eyebrows having not seen this woman they spoke about. He glanced in the direction of the door wondering who exactly Felicity Smoak was?

"Why?"

"She got you clean," Tommy added. "She took your money away, and got you work. Then she helped us live out our dream with the club. Clubs now days."

"She mentioned that."

"Well that's all being taken care of, so don't worry about that," Tommy reassured him, but truthfully Oliver couldn't care less. He just was not bothered about these businesses that everyone seemed to care about but not him.

"So how did we meet exactly? Felicity and I?"

"At QC, though mom always thought you went back further," Thea answered with a shrug.

"Then why can't I remember her?"

"Exactly."

"Wait how did we meet at QC?"

"Felicity used to work there," Tommy replied.

"What? She never said that, but then I guess I never asked."

"By all accounts she loved it," Thea said off hand.

"Then why did she leave?" Oliver asked.

"I honestly don't know. Our parents weren't exactly the warmest people when she managed to get through to you and they couldn't."

"So when and how did we become a couple?" he asked.

Tommy shrugged. "You were like best friends anyway, so we never really noticed."

"You just sort of got together, one day you were friends living together the next you were in a relationship looking for a bigger home," Thea added.

"Wait we didn't always live here?"

"Nope, you lived in a flat in the city," Thea spoke first.

"You moved here roughly about 2 maybe 2 and a half years ago," Tommy added.

"You two actually did a lot of the work yourselves, spent a lot of hours fixing it up."

"Yeh, and the same with your restaurant," Thea said with a smile. Oliver merely nodded, his mind swimming even further with all the new information to process.

"But I don't remember any of this."

"And that's okay," she reassured him. "But Felicity is one of the best people we know, right Tommy?"

"Yep, you and Felicity, you have a connection."

"Had," Oliver whispered.

"It doesn't mean it's gone. You just have to get to know her again." Thea gave him an encouraging smile. "Seriously she's one of the most trustworthy, encouraging people I've ever known."

"I agree," Tommy said raising his hand.

"But mom and dad didn't go to the wedding, neither did her family."

"No, because our parents aren't all that they seem. Keep that in mind," Thea answered. "And as for her family, we never asked, it always seemed to be a sad topic-"

"And Felicity hated to be sad for too long, she was always the bubbly one and saw the bright side of situations."

"I can see that," he replied thinking about all those times she had babbled and spoke enthusiastically whenever he tried to do something. But the truth remained that he did not feel like he could trust her because he did not know her.

"I dunno if I should have just stayed at the mansion."

"No," Tommy replied first stunning him.

"No, here," Thea gestured towards him, "is right where you need to be. Things probably don't make much sense right now, but when the times right I promise it all will. You need to recover first, get back to full health, concentrate on that instead of everyone else." Oliver merely nodded in response, he was being told to basically be selfish. Something he had done his whole life, but with how everyone spoke he had changed from that into something better but who was that person?

"And we're all right here for you," Tommy said giving him a cheeky grin.

"Thank you," Oliver mumbled, staring between the pair.

"So anyway, I wanted to talk to you about the rehearsal dinner..." Theas words faded as Oliver nodded a long. He couldn't focus as he thought about himself, about the man he apparently was now, and the woman that was his wife.


	4. Moving On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you again as always and to say thank you I thought I'd give you the next chapter early! The support for this has been overwhelming which as meant writing it has truly gone better than I ever could have imagined. Now some questions will be answered here, but as always I want to warn you this fic is heartbreaking, of course there will be happy moments too, but mainly this might be a tough read (I am preparing you for future chapters I've been writing), but I hope you continue to enjoy the angsty heartbreak!

Felicity shot up in bed as soon as she heard the loud thud.

"Damn it." She heard the man she loved grumble as he came in. She glanced towards her clock. 4.23am. She sighed as she pulled the covers back, grabbed her dressing gown and stepped out the room. She could make out the slumped form of Oliver as he sat with his back to the front door. The keys were in a heap beside him as the door was open a few inches.

"Fel... Fe... Fliss!" he exclaimed dopily when he saw her. She didn't even speak to him as she pushed the door closed, causing him to slouch back further. She bent down picked up his keys, and locked the door before placing them in the bowl.

She leant down wrapping her arm around his shoulders as she helped him to his feet. "God, you're still all muscle after everything."

"Yep," he replied popping his "p" leaning into her side. "I've barely done anything and I've still got all these muscles." He pulled his shirt up to reveal his abs, not as defined as they had once been but definitely still there. Felicity diverted her gaze feeling her cheeks flushing as they ascended the stairs together. "Someone likes me," he teased, the alcohol easily smelt on his breath as he spoke.

"How much did you have to drink this time?" Felicity asked, not even bothering to respond to tease him back.

"I wasn't counting," he replied with his trademark dopey smile. She shook her head as they finally made it upstairs. She could feel him staring at her for the entire time. She dropped him onto the bed and he sat there continuing to stare. "Your eyes are really pretty without your glasses," he said it with such a soft voice, it made her freeze in her tracks. This was the second night in a row he'd been out drinking, coming back blind drunk in the early hours of the morning and she had no doubt that he had no idea what he was saying. Plus he'd never remember it all anyway.

"What are you playing at Oliver?" she asked frowning at him as he lay back on the bed.

"Having fun," he answered with a shrug.

"But two nights drunk, when not even a week ago you couldn't find your way home."

"Driving licences are good things," he mumbled pulling his wallet out his pocket. Felicity sighed as she walked to his feet pulling his shoes off. "You don't seem happy," he added leaning on his elbows to watch her.

"Why would I be? I thought someone was breaking in last night and tonight you're saying things you don't even understand."

"Oh come on Miss Grumpy pants, want a cuddle?" He threw his arms out as he leant back onto the bed and Felicity dropped his shoe to the floor in shock.

"I don't think that's appropriate?"

"What for me to share a bed with my wife?" he asked with a wink.

"No," she responded forcefully. "No because when you wake up in the morning you'll forget all about this, and stare at me with the same lost and confused frown and I don't want that wedge between us."

"Fine," he mumbled turning on his side and getting comfy. Felicity pulled the covers over him. "Your loss."

She could feel the anger bubbling in her veins as she turned on her heels and left the room. She took a couple of deep calming breaths before she went downstairs. She moved around the space automatically getting him a glass of water and aspirin for the morning, all the whilst her brain replayed the fact her husband had been hitting on her. But where exactly had he been?

As she walked back up the stairs the soft snores reached her. She tiptoed into his room placing down the water and pills on the cabinet before glancing down at him. He was wrapped in his covers barely visible as he snored. She sighed as she rubbed at her eyes feeling the burn of unshed tears. She walked out the room quietly making sure to leave the door open so she could hear him and doing the same with her own before she crawled back into her bed. She lay on her back staring at the ceiling wondering what the hell to do.

Her phone beeped beside her, and she turned towards it. She glanced at it, having received a notification about either her or Oliver being mentioned in the press, something she had set up so long ago she had forgotten about. She opened her phone clicking on the link with a frown. She was taken to a small article written by a local reporter, Susan Williams.

She read the headline: Oliver Queen back in town? She skimmed the article reading about his drunken nights in Verdant with several business associates of his father. She saw the various photos of him in the private booths downing shots with the clearly young men who Robert would have little in common with. She cringed as her eyes saw the next range of photos. His arms were slung around a couple of women as he smirked for the camera and in the next photo he was dancing seductively with them. Her heart hammered in her chest as she closed the article down, locked her phone and turned away from it. She couldn't help the tears that rolled down her cheeks as she felt her heart chip a little.

* * *

Felicity sat at her desk in the study running through code after code. It helped keep her mind busy and time always seemed to fly when she got lost in her work. She typed and typed, knowing Oliver wasn't awake yet. He probably wouldn't be for sometime, but her phone buzzing on the desk paused her actions.

"Hello."

"Hey Felicity, it's me."

"Oh hey Tommy, what can I do you for?"

"We're outside."

"What? Who?"

"Laurel insisted she come speak to him," he huffed out, clearly not happy about the situation.

She could hear some commotion down the line before a softer voice spoke. "Tommy told me Oliver was struggling with our break up, that he couldn't get his head around it and I just thought it would be easier for him to see what my life is like now."

"Oh, do you really think that's a good idea?" she whispered nervously tapping her foot on the floor.

"Why? What's happened?" Laurel asked clearly concerned.

"Since Thea and Tommy spoke to him last he seems to have, I don't know, taken a step back."

"What do you mean?" she heard Tommy ask.

"He's drinking, partying again, staying out till the early hours-"

"Oh, well then I think all the more reason for us to talk."

"Okay," she whispered.

"Hey, we don't have to-"

"No, no, you've come all this way and he's going to find out the truth eventually might as well make it sooner rather than later," she admitted as she stood up from the desk.

"Thank you Felicity."

"No problem, I'll just come and let you in." She hung up placing her phone back onto the desk before heading to the door. She grabbed Oliver's keys from several hours ago and unlocked it.

The instant it was open Laurel engulfed her into a hug. "I hope you know we're here for the both of you."

"Thanks," Felicity mumbled as she hugged her back.

The pair pulled away and Laurel gave her hand a little squeeze. "I hope you don't mind but we bought Becca too."

"Oh of course n-"

"Laurel." Both women glanced to the staircase when they heard Oliver's voice. He was stood there with a towel around his middle and the other around his shoulders. His still damp abs were on display as Tommy walked in.

"Damn it Ollie go put some clothes on!" he shouted in jest as he carried the little girl in his arms.

"Uncle Ollie!" she squealed excitedly as Oliver's face bounced from Laurel to Becca.

"I'll just take this one through to the kitchen and get a drink," Tommy mumbled as he tickled Becca and she giggled.

"Ollie," Laurel said with a soft smile. "Go get changed and then we can talk."

"Yeh, yeh... sure." He beamed, looking genuinely excited and happy. Felicity felt her shoulders sag as he bolted up the stairs two at a time.

"Jeez, he never looked like that when we dated," Laurel said off hand. "You're one lucky woman!" she teased but Felicity merely nodded in response.

"How about I get us some drinks?" she asked.

"Sure," Laurel replied and Felicity could feel her concerned stare on her.

* * *

Oliver pretty much sprinted down the stairs, seeing Laurel again made everything seem like it was going to be okay. He stepped into the kitchen to find Laurel and Felicity leaning next to the kitchen counter.

"I made you coffee," Felicity said pointing to a mug. "You know cause of last night."

He merely blinked at her clear remark about his drinking because at this moment he just didn't care. "Okay," he answered his eyes going back to Laurel.

"I'll go outside, take this drink to Tommy and leave you two to chat."

"Thanks Fliss," Laurel called as she walked through the open patio door before sliding it shut after her.

"You look as gorgeous as I remember," Oliver said unable to stop the smirk on his face.

"Really? I'm married Oliver, and so are you," she said crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at him.

"And?" He shrugged. "Doesn't mean I can't appreciate how you look."

"Jesus, you really have gone back to 5 years ago," she said in disdain.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked with a frown.

"The man you were back then, he wasn't a nice guy," she answered with a cringe. "We've all grown and changed since then."

Olivers eyes roamed her figure as she moved around the kitchen, a clear bump could be seen under her dress as she placed his coffee on the table and picked up her own cup. "You're pregnant," he said loudly.

"Yes," she answered as she sat down.

"That could have been us."

She glanced up at him with a look of disbelief before she laughed dryly. "No."

"Why not?" he asked. "That little girl looks, 3 maybe 4, she could easily be ours."

"Rebecca Dinah Merlyn," she announced proudly, glancing over her shoulder.

Oliver looked up to see Felicity and Tommy chasing the little girl around the garden as she giggled. "Wait, Merlyn?" he asked glancing back to her.

"Yep."

"You two are together?" he enquired still stunned.

"Yep, we have been for about 4 years, married for nearly 3."

"What happened to us?" he questioned feeling an ache in his chest.

"We were different people back then. I was more naive, and you," she shook her head, "were an immature idiot."

"Don't hold back on my account," he grumbled.

"I don't plan on Ollie, because I don't want the same thing to happen with Felicity. She's too good for who you were back then."

"Why? I don't get why I was so bad."

"You wouldn't, because you don't remember any of it."

"So explain this to me, please," he pleaded staring at her.

"You won't like it," she answered taking a sip of her drink.

"Why can't people just tell me the truth?"

"Because the truth hurts, sometimes it hurts the person reliving it or it hurts the person learning the truth."

"I'm not a child, Laurel."

"No, but you had a major head injury."

"So what? Tommy was here not two days ago and he never mentioned you two were married! He just said that I cheated on you with Sara," he snapped slamming his hand on the table. He looked up to see Tommy and Felicity heading towards the patio doors clearly having heard his shouts and anger. He watched as Laurel turned towards the doors, raising her hand. She didn't say anything but Tommy gave her a nod before glaring in his direction. Oliver averted his eyes staring at the hand on the table before he pulled it off and under.

"Okay, so we're going to talk like adults," Laurel said turning back towards him. "Even one more angry outburst and we'll take our daughter and leave, you got that?"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Have you got that?"

He looked up. "Yes."

"Do you remember any of our relationship?" she asked curiously.

"Just that we'd been together since just before college, friends before then, but we were supposed to get married and I run QC and you become basically a wife, like my mother."

"Yes, but that isn't what happened is it?"

"No, I cheated on you."

"Regularly," she added.

"Not that much."

"Drugs and drink, you probably can't even remember half of it."

"That's not fair," he answered instantly feeling her anger.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for," she replied. "But the truth of the matter is none of it's as simple as people think."

"Then explain it to me please," he asked unable to hide the feelings of hopelessness.

"We were young, and naive, and truthfully I had this idyllic scenario in my head that we'd be this ultimate power couple that you and me were just destined to be."

"But we weren't?" he asked lowly.

"No, oh god no. The first time you cheated on me I should have walked away, but I just forgave you over and over. And in the end I became the fool." Her eyes gazed down as she played with her mug taking a pause.

"How so?"

"Because you didn't want commitment back then Ollie, you partied and did drugs, and drank to escape everything. So when I added the pressure of you to move in, it seemed to push you further away." She looked up at him, a determination in her eye as she spoke the truth. "We were suppose to be going out together, a celebration for something of your parents but you never showed up. So I went home and caught you in bed with my sister."

"I don't remember," he mumbled placing his head in his hands.

"I know you don't."

"What happened after that?"

"I got mad. Not only had you cheated on me again, but with my baby sister. So I kicked you both out, you both got arrested for drug use. Your parents managed to get you off, and Sara, well it cleaned her up. She got kicked out of college, but due to her skill set she was picked up by the government, by Diggles wife, Lyla, actually. She's away on business with her partner Nyssa."

"So she's doing okay?"

"Yep." She smiled brightly. "It's all in the past Oliver, honestly we all actually sat down and spoke about things. We cleared the air years ago."

"But we never tried again?"

"No, by the time we spoke again I was with Tommy, and you had your sights on someone else." She winked.

"Who?"

"Felicity of course, not that you'd ever admit it, even back then," she said off hand, causing him to frown. He denied he liked Felicity in the past.

"But I didn't try to contact you? I didn't fight for you?"

"No, I asked you to stay away."

"And I listened?"

"Yes. You were mixed up in your own troubles by then, your parents kicked you out, Tommy wasn't talking to you because of me, Diggle had a newborn baby and there was no one left but Felicity."

"So she was my final choice?"

"No, she was your only choice," she answered. "And now she's your always." He shook his head at her words, how could Felicity be his always when he didn't even remember her?

"If I had fought for you, do you think we could have worked out?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"No. I realised a lot of things after our break up. Firstly that I wanted more than to just be a trophy wife. I wanted an equal, a partner who pushed me and let me be who I wanted to be. I have a career, I'm District Attorney now."

"Wow, congratulations."

"Yeh get to work with my dad, he's captain."

"Damn Captain Lance," he added with a smile and shake of his head. "He would have busted me so bad if he was Captain back then."

"Yep, and want to know what I also realised?"

"What?"

"Throughout our entire relationship you were barely there for me, you cheated, you basically did whatever you wanted, I was just entertainment to you but there was one person there for me. One person who listened every time you cheated, one person who spent every event keeping me company, who asked about my day, who showed they cared repeatedly and I was blind to it all." Oliver glanced up then to see Tommy looking in their direction even as he played with his daughter.

"Tommy," he whispered.

"Yes," she nodded, "I thought he was another you, and it took me awhile to realise he never had been. He loved me exactly as I was, and I loved him, still do," she answered with a loving smile placing her hand on her bump. "I wouldn't change a single thing Oliver because it all lead me to my family."

"None of this feels real," he mumbled.

"I get that, but it is," she answered. "We've all grown up and moved on, and I know it's hard for you but we're never going to get together, ever. I'm happily married and have a family, so you have to get on with your life and stop living with this what if, because there is none."

"It just all feels like I'm living a lie."

"Maybe you should speak to someone, help you make sense of it all."

"Maybe," he grunted with no intention of doing so. "So as much as it feels to me that we're together-"

"We aren't," she answered. "But you're Uncle Ollie."

"I don't remember her," he replied nodding his head towards Becca.

"She knows you were poorly, and have a poorly head. Do you want to meet her?" He glanced at the small child, who was clearly Laurels double and he felt a small stab of pain. Not because she wasn't his, and not because she was Laurel and Tommy's but because something in him felt a loss, felt as if he was remembering a pain long forgotten. "Are you okay?" Laurel asked standing up and staring down at him.

"I'm fine," he answered.

"Ollie, you look pale."

"Is everything alright?" Felicity's voice carried from the door.

"Yes," Oliver replied through gritted teeth his head feeling a little dizzy.

"We were talking and all of sudden he just seemed to zone out and then he went pale," Laurel added. Oliver glared at her before looking at Felicity who was making her way over.

"I'm fine," he grumbled as he stood up, nearly tipping over in the process.

"Oliver let me get you some water," Felicity said raising her hands up to help him.

"No, I can look after myself," he snapped and instantly her hands fell to her sides. He could see the hurt all over her face and the ache of loss he felt earlier seemed to double. "I'm going to lie down," he grumbled, backing out the room slowly. "Thanks for coming and telling me the truth Laurel, tell Tommy and Becca I said bye."

"No problem-" before she finished he'd walked out the room. His head was pounding, and he knew it wasn't just the hangover. He dragged himself up the stairs, slamming his door closed before he collapsed down onto the bed. The ache in his chest making it hard to breath as he saw the visions of a dark haired woman again, this time he saw dark purple lipstick before he finally succumbed to the darkness.

* * *

Felicity sat downstairs in her office. She'd been there since Laurel, Tommy and Becca had left. She'd stared at the codes on her screen for so long trying to forget the look of anger, and disdain on Oliver's face before he'd bolted upstairs. She hadn't dared check on him, instead retreating to her safe place and getting lost in the string of numbers.

When she finally glanced at the clock she realised it had been hours since she'd seen him. She threw her arms up in the air stretching her back before she stood up, trying to find the courage to face him. She tentatively made her way up the stairs coming to stand still before his door. She took a deep breath before she tapped lightly.

"Oliver," she called out. She heard mumbling but no proper words. "Oliver I'm coming in." She pulled the door open as he sat up in bed. He was wrapped in his duvet, blinking as he took her in. "You've been up here for hours."

"I just had headache, I'm fine."

"Have you taken any painkillers?"

"No," he answered plainly. She slowly walked closer towards the bed, tentatively sitting on the corner trying not to get so close.

"What's going on?" she whispered. "I know you don't trust me, I know you feel like you've just lost Laurel-"

"It isn't that," he interrupted.

She looked him in the eye. "Then what is it?"

"This all felt like a dream, and it's clearly obvious how much Laurel and Tommy love each other and I know myself how badly I treated her but looking at Becca, it just... something didn't feel right." He glanced down. Felicity noticed his nervous twitch, his finger and thumb subconsciously rubbing together as he slowly unwrapped himself from the covers.

"What exactly?"

"I don't know, I looked... I looked at Becca and I felt a pain deep in my chest-"

"Because she wasn't yours?"

"No, not like that." He rubbed his eyes with his hands, and Felicity wasn't sure what he meant. "I'm clearly not father material," he whispered.

"Don't say things like that," Felicity said softly. "You're a great man Oliver, even if you can't remember it. You will make a great father one day."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're the man that... I believe in."

"Yet we never had kids?" he asked staring at her completely unsure.

Felicity took a deep breath. "No, we hadn't yet," she murmured not looking at him trying to find the right words. "Some things happened and you... we agreed to do it the "right" way," she watched as he frowned at her, "you know, home, marriage then babies."

"Oh," he answered clearly understanding. "But... what happened?"

Instantly she froze, closing her eyes as she tried to figure how much to tell him. "A lot of things," she whispered trying to hide the emotions in her voice. She didn't look at him as she sat twisting the band of her wedding ring. She tensed up the moment his larger hand engulfed hers stopping her movement. She looked up slowly as he squeezed her hand ever so gently.

"You don't have to tell me," he said softly, staring into her eyes with such concern her heart skipped a beat.

"I... there's lot of things. My father, us..." He merely nodded in understanding. "You had a pregnancy scare too."

"I did? Don't you mean we?"

She shook her head. "We weren't together at the time, it was Sandra, no Sammy, no Samantha." She shook her head. "Yes, Samantha, about 4 weeks after you moving in with me."

"What happened?" he asked.

"She took a pregnancy test, it was positive and she got in touch with you. You were so off your face at the time I don't think it really hit you until you sobered up. That's when you broke down, and admitted you had a problem, so we got you sorted, and found a OBGYN which you agreed on."

"But she wasn't pregnant?" he asked still squeezing her hand.

"She was." His eyes widened. "But she had an ectopic pregnancy. The baby wasn't developing in her womb, I'll never forget that day," she whispered, trying desperately to hide her own emotions. "The way you took care of her and insisted you travel to Central City to get her home. Then you came all the way back and I thought that would be your spiral, that you'd carry on drinking... that you'd revert back."

"And I didn't?" he questioned.

"No, not at all. You were so strong, and it made you more determined. Actually it's why you started working out."

"But didn't I react?"

"Yes, when you got back to the flat. You... you let me in," she whispered trying to fight her own tears as she thought back to everything they'd been through. "You've always let me in."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I'm not the man you want me to be."

"No, Oliver." She pulled one of her hands free reaching up and hesitating as she hovered over his cheek. She could see the awe in his eyes as he tilted into her touch, and for a brief second she marvelled at how his eyes fluttered shut at the same time he let out a deep breath. "I don't need you to be anything, I just want you to figure it out with no pressure. I just want you to be happy." She could feel the shudder of his breath against her skin and she couldn't help but smile as he squeezed her hand.

"I think I should go back to QC." She felt her heart constrict at his words. "I know you say I left because I wasn't happy but I need to figure it out for myself."

"That's okay," she replied trying desperately to reassure him. "You do what you need to do."

"Thank you," he whispered, his eyes flicking briefly to her lips before he pulled out of her grasp.

"So we haven't ate all day, I think it's take out time," she said standing up straightening her dress.

"Sure, I'll be down in second."

"Okay."

"And Felicity..."

"Yes?" she asked turning back to him.

"No more partying."

"If you don't want to," she added.

"Nope."

"Good," she said giving him a genuine smile before stepping out.


	5. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: FIRSTLY a massive thank you to pleasantfanandstudent ITS SUCH A PRETTY COVER (I NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT IT ON HERE)! It's sooo gorgeous, and just so fitting and arggghhhhh! As always thank you for the support, this chapter is a little more joyful but that doesn't mean you shouldn't prepare because we do have some light moments in the darkness... BUT enjoy this beast of a chapter!

"So how have you been settling in Oliver?" Moira asked as she stepped into his father's office.

"Oh, alright I guess." He shrugged distracted by the pile of paperwork.

"You guess? You've been here 2 weeks now, aren't you learning anything interesting."

"Sure, I don't understand some of the language-"

"Well of course you don't my sweet baby boy," she said stepping closer. "You never did finish your degree."

"Mom," he rushed out with an exasperated sigh.

"I can have it all looked into, I'll look at courses and see which university would be willing to take you on; you only have the final year to complete-"

"Mom I think I have enough to deal with right now."

"Well it doesn't hurt to keep your options open," she insisted.

"Are you looking for Dad?" he asked trying to divert the conversation. "He's in a meeting."

"No, I came to see how you were doing, and your father and I wanted to know if you wanted to attend a gala this evening."

"Oh what's it for?"

"A charity thing," she said with a small shrug. "There will be all of the elites there, not just from Star City either."

"Oh."

"We just wondered if you wanted to be associated with QC in that way again," Robert added as he stepped in. "Hello Moira."

"Robert," she replied curtly as he walked around his desk and sat down. Oliver watched from his place on the sofa. "So as your father said, we thought it might be the perfect time to reintroduce you as a part of Queen Consolidated."

"But it's only been 2 weeks," he mumbled.

"And?" Robert replied. "Your rightful place is here; it's where you belong."

"What about Thea isn't she involved in any of this?" He watched as his mother's head dipped and his father's fist clenched on the desk.

"Thea didn't want to be a part of this," Moira replied softly.

"But I have to be?" he asked with a frown.

"No, of course not," Moira answered stepping closer. "You can be whoever you want to be. But being the legacy of QC isn't that bad surely?" Oliver glanced at his father as he sighed heavily. "Right Robert?" Moira added sternly to get his attention.

Instantly his eyes lifted and landed on Oliver. "No, of course not. QC is a wonderful company, a wonderful legacy to leave behind."

"But-" Oliver stopped himself shaking his head.

"But what, son?" Robert asked.

"Isn't a legacy supposed to be about who you are and what you do in this world, for the people that love you. Not about a company."

"QC is more than that," Robert chimed in, the anger spreading across his features.

"Of course Oliver," Moira interrupted, "But I think you'll find QC is exactly what you need." Oliver merely nodded. "So the gala tonight?"

"Sure," he mumbled, looking back at the paperwork all over the coffee table. "I'll go home and get my suit and-"

"Oh no need to bother about that," Moira said with a wave of her hand. "I can contact the place where Theas having your suit made, get your measurements and have it sent here."

"Here?" he asked looking up.

"Well you and your father should arrive together, to promote your new found partnership," she insisted.

"Oh right," he could see his father staring at him. "That makes sense I guess."

"Well splendid," Moira announced. "I'll get right on it and of course you can bring a plus one if you wish."

"Oh I guess I should invite Felicity," he answered and he heard his father's snicker. "What?"

"She hasn't exactly been supportive of you working here," Robert answered as he started at his own paperwork avoiding his gaze.

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked staring between his parents.

"Well why invite someone who clearly won't want to be there," Robert replied with a shrug.

"What your father means is, is Felicity really apart of this world?" Moira added throwing a quick glare at Robert.

"Of course she is, she's my- we're married," he answered unable to fully understand what the problem was.

"You were married," Robert corrected.

"We still are, I just can't remember it."

"Exactly," he exclaimed glancing at him before turning back to his paperwork.

"But shouldn't I be getting to know her?" he asked. "We made vows, just like you two did and shouldn't I at least try?" He stared at his mother who stood stock still with her lips pursed. "Isn't that what marriage is all about?" he whispered the last part waiting for a reaction.

"Oliver, marriages aren't that simple," Robert replied first. "Sometimes trying doesn't work-"

"No," Moira jumped in as she turned to glare at Robert. "No, you're right Oliver, if you want to try then do so. But remember this, you need to be happy too. Both of you." He looked into her eyes as she stepped closer moving in front of him. They teared up as she stared at him unable to hide her emotions. "Marriage is about happiness, trust, inclusion, relying on each other." Oliver could see his father's shoulders and head slump as she listed the qualities off. "So if that's what you both want to do then so be it, we have no right to stop it." She turned and clearly aimed the last words at Robert.

Oliver sat there completely and utterly confused about the scene before him. "Thank you."

"No problem sweetheart, I'll see you both later." He watched as his mother stepped out, and his father never even glanced to see her leave.

* * *

Oliver took a deep breath as he felt the growing tension in his shoulders. He felt himself relax into the booth of the tiny cafe he remembered from long ago. The staff were completely different, but it still remained pretty private after all these years. He thanked the waitress absently as she placed down the food and coffee. He ate automatically, staring out the front windows at the business people rushing by. He pulled his phone out his pocket clicking on Felicity's name. It barely had a chance to ring before she answered.

"Hey Oliver."

"Hi," he replied unable to stop himself from smiling.

"Everything okay?" she asked instantly her voice turning to concern.

"I'm fine, just on my lunch break."

"Oh," she answered sounding genuinely surprised.

"Yeh, I just wanted to check in."

"Oh, well I'm fine," she replied sounding a little perplexed.

He ran his hand at the back of his neck. "Felicity."

"Yes?"

"Would you like to go to a gala event with me tonight?"

"What?" she managed to squeak out.

"Well mom and dad want me to be seen back in their "world", to be promoting the business and that means business related and charity functions-"

"And you want me to come too?" she asked truly sounding surprised.

"Yes, is that not okay? Is that not something we ever did?" he asked feeling a little uneasy as he fidgeted in his seat.

"No, I mean yes. Wait... I'm getting confused." Oliver couldn't help the small chuckle before she continued. "We used to go, separately at first. But when we got to together, we weren't seen as the elites because, well, you weren't messing around anymore and we weren't associated with QC."

"Oh so the press left us alone?"

"A little, they get bored quickly," she answered.

"Oh right, how come we stopped going to galas?"

"The same reason your parents weren't at our wedding and you were barely speaking to them, I imagine."

"Right..." he mumbled still having no idea what happened, and still not knowing how to breech the conversation with either his parents or Felicity.

"I didn't mean that harshly, a lot of things happened," she rushed out. "The press weren't always kind to you. Well they weren't kind to either of us," she whispered, her voice sounding almost broken.

"Hey, it's okay," he found himself speaking without thought. "I can understand that. They weren't exactly by biggest fan."

"I know. I just know all of this must be confusing."

"We don't have to go," he replied. "We don't have to face the public again."

"No," she answered. "No, we should go. I'm... I'll support you."

"Are you sure?" he found himself asking.

"Of course, I'd do anything for you Oliver." He froze instantly. His heart hammered in his chest as he couldn't help but let her words sink in. Suddenly he couldn't help himself as he smiled uncontrollably. "You still there?" she whispered hesitantly.

"Yes, sorry," he mumbled rubbing a hand at the back of his neck as he felt his cheeks warming. "Well I'll guess I'll see you tonight."

"Aren't you coming home?"

"No. Mom thinks dad and I should arrive together."

"Oh, so I guess I'll get Dig to send a guy."

"Send a guy for what?" he asked with a frown.

"For protection," she answered. "You're a Queen, and if we introduce ourselves into the world again they'll want to know everything and some people don't know boundaries."

"Ah, that makes sense. But I can always get dad to pick you up."

"I don't think that's advisable."

"Why not?" he asked without thought.

"Your dad isn't my biggest fan," she admitted with a sad sigh. "I took you away from the business, from it all."

"But they were the ones that pushed me away in the first place."

"But they're your family Oliver."

He sat there with a frown as he stared at his coffee. "What about you?" he asked.

"What about me?"

"Aren't you my family too?" The line fell silent, as he felt the weight of his words. "I mean-"

"I'm whatever you need me to be."

"I..." he stammered unsure what he wanted Felicity to be in his life.

"You don't need to figure that out right now."

"Okay," he murmured messing with the mug in front of him. "So I guess you should get a guy."

"We should," she added. "Your dad will have security but it doesn't hurt to have someone for the both of us. I assume we'll be travelling back together?" she asked.

"Yes of course," he answered instantly. "I just have to socialise in the right circles and make the company look good."

"Well you've always been the charmer, so I'm sure it will be fine."

"I hope so."

"You'll be fine, I promise and you'll have me there to support you.".

"I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with Felicity."

"Oh please, it's a charity event. I'm sure it will be fine."

"Well I'll find out the address and charity from mom and message you."

"Okay, no problem."

"Thank you."

"You never have to thank me," she answered. "I'll be seeing you later."

"Bye." He hung placing his phone on the table staring at it briefly.

* * *

Oliver nursed his whiskey as he leant against the bar. The gala was in full swing, various pieces of art, antiques and collectables all for sale around the place. He hung his head trying to focus on his breathing as the pain in his head slowly subdued.

He took a deep breath as he heard his father come to stand beside him. "You could have been more enthusiastic Oliver."

"What with? The press got their photos and you told them I'm working for the company again. I did what was asked."

"Yes but you didn't need to run off inside, you could have answered some questions yourself," he snapped.

"What's going on?" Moira asked as she came to join them. Oliver sighed still not looking at them.

"Our son decided he needed a drink more than he needed to talk to the press."

"Oliver, you're supposed to be mature, I thought you wanted to be apart of all this?"

"I know, and I did what you asked," he replied through gritted teeth, squeezing his glass even tighter.

"You're supposed to be showing your support-" Moira tried to continue.

"I'm here, showing my support," Oliver snapped back, causing a few of the people around them to look.

"There's no need to talk to your mother like that," Robert replied sternly grabbing him by the arm.

"I think you two should leave our guest alone," Thea's tone was clipped as she came to stand beside him.

"This is none of your business," Robert retorted.

"I'll think you'll find it is," she replied. "So you have two choices, leave Oliver alone or I'll have you escorted from the building."

"You wouldn't do that," Moira countered.

"Just try me mom," she replied gently touching Oliver arm. "You aren't looking too good," she whispered.

"I think I know how to speak to my own son," Robert replied.

"You literally have 2 seconds to start mingling or I will call security," she added with a glare.

"Fine," he mumbled before skulking off.

"I think Walters looking for you, mom," Thea said in a somewhat short tone.

"Oh," Moira replied seeming fluster. "I'll just go find him," she added. "And thank you for agreeing to this Oliver."

"It's fine," he replied with a nod. He glanced up at Thea's concerned eyes as she pulled a stool over.

"Here," she directed him to sit. "Can I get a ice cold drink of water?" She asked the waiter who nodded.

"I'm fine, Thea."

"Yeh sure," she replied. "It was obvious that the camera flashes were affecting you."

"I'm just not used to it," he mumbled. The waiter placed the glass down. "Thank you," Thea whispered before handing it to him. "Here, take some sips."

Oliver closed his eyes as he felt the cool liquid run down his throat. He placed the glass to his forehead before he let out a soft sigh. "Thank you for that, and this," he replied the pain starting to ease.

"No problem."

"What did you mean this was your business?"

"I plan events Ollie. I own my own business and plan any sort of thing from birthdays to corporate events to weddings." She beamed.

"Wow really?"

"Yep, I love it," she answered. "I do quite a lot of high profile clients." She shrugged.

"That's... that's amazing." He finally looked around properly. "So you did all this?"

"Sort of yeh, I plan it all, make sure we have everything we need. You know venue, staff, food, drink, lighting, settings... anything that's needed really."

"Well I'm proud of you," he replied still looking around.

She blushed slightly looking away before beaming up at him like she used to as a child. "So I want you to meet my future husband."

"He's here?" he asked.

"Yep," she replied. She turned around waving at a younger guy stood across the room talking to the waiting staff. He smiled before making his way over.

"Hey sweetie," he said placing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Oliver, this is Roy."

"Hey man, nice to see you." He stuck his hand out and Oliver stared at it briefly. He took it firmly, a lot more than he probably should have, but he didn't remember this man.

"Nice to meet you Roy."

"Oh we've already met," he answered with a smile. "I work for you."

"What?" Oliver replied staring between the pair.

"Roy works in your restaurant. He's actually pretty much in charge right now," Thea answered with clear pride.

"You're a chef?" Oliver asked looking him up and down, trying to figure out he was.

"Yeh, you don't remember do you?" Roy asked running a hand at the back of his neck.

"Nope, but if you're marrying my sister and running my business you must be a good guy," he replied with a shrug.

"Well you were the one who gave me a second chance."

"I did?" he asked with a frown.

"Yep," Thea added. "You'd learnt to see the best in people, you actually said that you had learnt that from Felicity."

"That's unsurprising," Oliver admitted just as he stood up and looked in the direction of the door. He froze as his eyes caught the spark of a golden dress. The owner's legs seemed to be emphasised as he slowly pulled his eyes upwards. The dress was snug showing the persons delicate curves and then his mouth fell open as the blonde waves fell loosely around her shoulders, his eyes landing on the blue eyes of his wife.

* * *

Felicity pulled at the edge of her dress straightening the material once more as she stepped inside. She felt frumpy, and irritated by the presses questions about her and Oliver's relationship. She sighed as she stepped inside with her clutch in hand. She scanned the room briefly as she carried on inside.

Instantly her eyes snapped to Oliver. He was in a fitted tuxedo, clearly well tailored, as it tucked in at the right places to show his muscles and broad shoulders. His jaw looked tense until her eyes met his and it practically fell open. She continued to walk towards him with a new confidence at the fact her husband looked awestruck.

"Damn Felicity you look amazing!" Thea supplied.

Felicity pulled her eyes from Oliver instantly embracing Thea then Roy. "Do you really think so? It was the only thing that would fit, I'm not sure why," she mumbled looking down at her feet.

"Well I think you look beautiful, right Ollie?" Thea asked nudging him slightly.

"Yes," he replied instantly. "You look totally hot." Felicity looked up, his pupils had blown and as flattering as that was. Her husband had called her hot, not beautiful, not even gorgeous just hot. She couldn't help but feel a wave of disappointment as she looked away.

"So what have I missed?"

"Nothing much, just threatened our parents, reintroduced Oliver and Roy, the usual."

"Thea you didn't," Felicity said with a shake of her head.

"They were getting on Ollie's back so I just threatened to have them kicked out."

"Which you didn't have to do," Oliver added.

"You didn't look great and they should be thankful you're back at QC at all," she grunted, Roy gently murmured something into her ear as she wrapped her arm around him.

"Well it still wasn't right to do that," Felicity added.

"God, seriously Felicity you are a better person than most, after everything," she replied and she could feel Oliver's confused gaze on her.

"I told you, your parents don't like me," she added quickly.

"That's an understatement," Thea replied unable to help herself.

"Thea..."

"What? Mum and dad treated Felicity like crap Ollie, they blamed her for a lot of things-"

"Hey guys," Tommy's voice cut through as he and Laurel stepped closer.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Oliver asked still staring at Thea.

"Well Thea called and insisted we come to help support you," Laurel replied with a smile.

"She did? And how did you know about all that?" Oliver asked her.

"Me," Felicity answered. "I just, I knew this was Thea's event, and I thought having a few friendly faces wouldn't hurt," she added stepping a little closer beside him as she shrugged.

"You did that for me?" he asked turning to her.

"Of course. I didn't want you to think you were alone."

"And on that note, Roy and I have some work to do, so we'll catch up later."

"Sure," Felicity replied with a smile as Oliver hugged Thea.

"And do not forget about the rehearsal dinner," Thea added as she hugged Felicity.

"We won't," she answered. "We'll all be there."

"Good!" she exclaimed as she took Roy by the hand and they disappeared into the next room.

"So you're all here for me then?" Oliver asked.

"Yeh man," Tommy said with a beaming smile as he wrapped his arm around Laurel.

"How about you two go get us a table and Oliver and I get the drinks?" Felicity suggested as she watched Laurel rubbing her bump.

"That would be nice," Laurel added with a smile. "It's getting harder and harder to stand these days."

"Then you definitely should go sit," Oliver encouraged with a soft smile. Felicity looked up at him unsure how he was reacting to this whole situation.

"Well okay, we'll see you guys in a bit." Felicity nodded before she walked over to the bar. She didn't even hesitate as she reeled off the drinks.

"You know their drink order?" he asked a little perplexed as he leant on the bar beside her.

"Of course I do. When we all go out together or go to each others homes you just sort of pick these things up."

"So we all see a lot of each other?"

"Yeh, me and you, Laurel, Tommy and their family, Diggle, Lyla and their kids and Thea and Roy. We hang out a fair amount." She shrugged not making it a big deal.

"Oh right."

"Yeh, Diggles here tonight too, but in more professional setting."

"Oh? I hadn't seen him."

"Yeh, he's heading security here for Thea so he's probably in the other room."

"I see," he replied before tapping his fingers against the bar.

"Are you okay?" she asked looking him up and down, he seemed almost nervous.

"Yeh, I'm fine."

She couldn't help it as she leant closer and whispered. "You don't have to pretend with me."

"I'm not," he answered smiling down at her. "I'm okay, now."

"But you weren't before?" she asked.

"No, the press and lights. It was a little overwhelming." Her heart hammered in her chest to hear him opening up a little. "But you're here, and Thea, and Tommy-"

"And Laurel," she finished for him letting her head drop slightly. Instantly her head snapped up as she felt his fingers brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered near her neck before he pulled his hand away.

"Yes, and Laurel but that's thanks to you." She couldn't help but shiver at how soft and gentle his voice had turned.

"It's nothing really," she tried to blow it off but she couldn't tear her eyes from his.

"That's not true," he answered. She could have swore she felt the air between them changing.

"Here's your drinks," The waiter said placing them down causing them to look away.

"Thank you," Felicity said softly reaching for her wine to take a sip.

"Would you like me to put these on the Queen tab?" he asked.

"Oh no, I'll pay," she answered reaching for money from her purse.

"You don't have to do that, my dad has enough money," Oliver insisted.

"No I can pay my own way," she said sharply.

"Well then I'd like to add a bottle of your finest champagne to my father's tab."

"Oliver!" she scolded glaring at him.

"He asked me to be here, and I asked you, so why shouldn't we have a little something?" He winked at her cheekily.

"You shouldn't-"

"Probably not, but I am," he replied with a shrug. "Could you bring that to our table with 3 glasses?" he asked the bartender.

"Of course, Mr Queen." He gave him a short nod. Felicity reached for her wine and Laurels water as Oliver grasped his and Tommy's. They turned around at the same time as Walter stepped up.

"Ah Oliver, Felicity, hello."

"Mr Steele," Felicity replied with a smile.

"As I've always said call me Walter."

"It's good to see you Walter."

"Likewise," he replied staring at the pair. "I hear you're back at the company Oliver?"

"Yes I am, I'm surprised I haven't seen you."

"Oh well I don't work for your father anymore."

"What?" he asked.

"I'm a member of the board, and help with many of your mother's finances and dealings but I run Starling Bank now."

"I had no idea," Oliver said with a confused frown.

"Well with your memory problems that's unsurprising."

"Why'd you leave?"

"As I'm sure Felicity would agree some things are more important." She gave him a nod in understanding as Oliver seemed even more perplexed. "I must say though with your return I thought your father might have invited Felicity back too."

"Oh it's not like that," Felicity replied quickly as Oliver just stood there.

"He lost a strong asset that day. You were the best in your field, a sharp mind who could have easily commanded the whole of your section, and probably several others if not the whole company." Felicity couldn't help the nervous laugh that escaped her.

"Well she has her own business now," Oliver supplied surprising her. She glanced in his direction to see him actually smiling at her.

"Ah I see, I wonder if that's where some of QC's clients ended up."

Felicity could feel her cheeks flushing as she shrugged and Oliver's eyes widened. "I'm sure if they were getting what they needed from QC they wouldn't have left," she answered quickly.

"How true," Walter agreed. "I must say you and Mr Holt created some truly amazing work, and I'm sure you had more in that marvellous mind of yours. It is a shame, what Robert did I mean, but I think you starting your own business is wonderful." He beamed at her, the pride clear as day on his face.

"Thank you M- Walter. Thank you, it means a lot to hear that after everything." She could feel Oliver's gaze on her as she spoke.

"Well if you don't mind I have several business associates here today and maybe I could introduce you?" he asked.

"That would be amazing," she replied unable to help herself.

"Well I'll come and get you after we've all ate. Nice to see you both again."

"Nice to see you too." Oliver added with a nod of his head.

"Likewise," Felicity smiled as they walked off.

"You stole some of my dad's clients?" he asked.

"Is that judgement I hear?"

"No, pride," he answered with a grin that she couldn't help but reciprocate.

"I didn't steal them, they left after I did. They followed me because they valued my advice."

"Hey, you don't need to explain. Like I said I think that's pretty damn amazing."

"Well it was thanks to you."

"What do you mean?" he asked as they stepped into the main room.

"I had offers from Kord Industries, Palmer Tech, Merlyn Global and even S.T.A.R labs."

"Wow," he replied blinking at her in shock. "They're big names in the technology world."

"Yep but you told me I should start my own, hence Smoak Technologies was born." She shrugged. "Anyway, let's find our seats get some food and drinks, maybe even bid on an item or two."

"Sounds good to me," he replied and she couldn't help but smile.

* * *

"Well I think it's safe to say I've definitely circulated," Oliver teased as he and Felicity headed back towards their table. After they had eaten and looked at the pieces to bid on they had separated from Laurel and Tommy and had spent time talking to other guests.

"Yeh, sorry about that," she answered with a cringe.

"Don't be, it was nice to have someone who knew people, and had the knowledge." She looked up at him and he couldn't help but smile down at her.

"Felicity?" The pair stopped and turned towards Walters voice.

"Oh, Walter," Felicity answered.

"Is it okay if I steal you away now?" He watched as she glanced in his direction and he nodded at her encouragingly.

"If you're sure these people want to meet me?"

"Seriously Felicity, I've just spent a couple of hours hearing you speak to people from QC who remember you and your brain!" Oliver answered.

"He is right," Walter added with a smile and she blushed. He couldn't help but watch the colour on her cheeks as she dipped her head.

"Okay then," she replied.

"I'll just be at the table if you want anything," Oliver said quickly before she walked off.

"Okay, I'll see you soon," she replied as Walter led her off. He couldn't help but keep his eyes on her as he took his seat beside Tommy.

"So you seemed to have made quite the impression on the QC heads of staff," Tommy said. Oliver glanced at the pair sat beside him before his eyes found Felicity again. "Well firstly my dad said he wanted me to circulate, but I think you'll find Felicity made the impression," he replied nodding his head in her direction. He couldn't help but smile as she smiled brightly, and talked animatedly at Walters associates.

"She made those impressions years ago," Laurel added. "She was just paving the way for you."

"What?" he asked turning to look at them.

"Felicity was highly regarded at the company by many, she was the go to IT girl. So she knew and made an impression on a lot of important people, so her skills and personality gained her those connections which she just used to basically promote you."

"Oh," he replied turning back to her feeling a sense of warmth. "She was looking out for me."

"Yeh like she's always done," Tommy answered with a shrug before he leant closer to Laurel and wrapped his arm around her.

"I just don't get why she ever left the company," he mumbled shaking his head. He could see the clear passion from her interactions and he felt a sad ache in his chest.

"I don't think there was ever really a choice," Tommy supplied.

He turned back to look at them. "What do you mean?" he asked with a frown.

"When it came down it, she chose what mattered the most and that was you," Laurel answered.

"I just don't understand," he whispered.

"Truthfully, none of us know the full truth, just the few bits we were told or heard," she added. "But if you really want to know you should speak to her, and probably your parents."

"Why do I keep getting the impression my parents aren't exactly the most supportive?"

Tommy chuckled a little before replying, "Welcome to my world. My dad's here this evening, he's barely said two words to me."

"You got your own family now, babe," Laurel whispered into his ear before placing a kiss to his cheek. "And it's only getting bigger," she added taking his hand in hers and placing it on her bump. Oliver felt a lump in his throat as he grabbed his whiskey to dampen some feelings. He glanced back to Felicity, his mind picture her with a bump, their hands linked over it, the feelings and imagery shocking him. But when his eyes landed on hers there was a tall dark haired man stood beside her, his hand was on her lower back as he whispered into her ear and she was laughing.

"Might want to ease your grasp on the glass buddy," Tommy said breaking his glare.

"Who is that?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Who?" he asked back.

"The guy with Felicity.

"Oh that's Ray Palmer," Laurel answered

"Of Palmer Tech?" he asked.

"Yeh, he and Felicity used to be close," Tommy added.

"Close?" he asked trying to hide the tone.

"Nothing serious Ollie," Laurel started. "It was just a few dates and some rumours, but it's not like you were a couple back then anyway."

"I see," he mumbled unable to keep his eyes off the pair. He quickly drank his drink in one gulp. "I'm just going to the bar," he said in the pairs direction as he jumped to his feet and basically marched out the room. He didn't look back at her, he couldn't understand where this intense feeling of jealousy had come from. He never cared about his past relationships, he never got jealous of anyone, but this felt different. He shook his head as he leant against the bar ordering another drink.

"I think you should go steady with those."

Oliver glanced up at the figure leaning beside him. "Still telling me what to do after all of these years."

"Still trying to protect you man, that's never changed," Diggle answered.

"Even when I don't ask for it," he shot back before once again finishing the drink in one. He looked up in time to see the disappointed look on his friends face. So he turned and leant with his back against the bar.

"What you doing?" Diggle asked.

"I was just getting a drink."

"Whilst you leave Felicity to the wolves?"

"She's fine. She is a lot better at this than me," he answered truthfully.

"Maybe so, but she came to support you, she probably could do with your support too."

"Diggle she's talking to a few of Walters associates-"

"For now, you know your parents are on the prowl in there." He gestured to the main hall and Oliver glanced in that direction. A dark haired woman heading towards the exit caught his eye. Her eyes never left his as she winked at him before giving him a seductive smile. He watched as she added an extra sway to her hips.

"Who was that?"

"Oh no, you need to stay away from her, she is bad news," Diggle added coming to stand in front of him to block his view.

"Why?" he asked with a frown.

"Because she is big trouble. She caused a lot of problems with your family, Thea would murder you if she saw you two interacting."

"But who is she?"

Diggle sighed. "Her names Isabel Rochev, but stay away from her Oliver," he warned again.

"I have no intention of going near her." He frowned as the words just slipped out.

"Good," Diggle answered with a nod of his head. "In that case how are you doing?"

"With tonight? Or in general?"

"Both," he enquired moving back beside him now Isabel had gone.

"Well tonight is alright, it has helped having all the support here. And in general I'm not sure." He shrugged. "I still don't remember, but I feel oddly at peace with Felicity here."

"I think that's a good sign," Diggle answered with grin. "You've spent 5 years together, I'd hope somewhere deep down you'd feel something."

"Is that you feel with Lyla?" he asked not looking at him.

"Sort of, it's hard to explain. But she and the kids, my family, they're everything."

Oliver found himself nodding along unable to hide his feelings. "I've never... I've never felt that way," he whispered looking down.

"You have," Diggle replied without missing a beat. "You just don't remember it all yet, but that doesn't mean you won't feel it again."

"Sure," he responded skeptically.

"Look, I really do think talking to someone will help," Diggle added. "Me and Lyla, we both spoke to people after everything we went through-"

"Yeh but you were in a war."

"And you're in a war with yourself," Diggle supplied with a stern look. "This isn't a competition. All of us need help sometimes, and sometimes that help needs to be a professional."

"Why is everyone so determined I need to speak with someone?" Oliver asked with a little anger. "Why?"

"Because we care," he answered with a simple shrug. "But the choice is always yours," he added quickly. "Just remember we are all here if you need us."

Oliver stood there taking a deep breath letting his words settle for a moment. "Thanks," he finally replied. "I should probably head back inside."

"Well I meant it Oliver, you need anything just call," Diggle added with a smile. "It goes for the both you. You and Felicity."

"Right," Oliver said with a nod.

"Oh and I'll have a car ready for both of you whenever you want to leave."

"Thank you, Diggle," Oliver replied finally turning to look at him. He felt those words probably held more weight, that he was doing more than he probably knew, but no one seemed to be sharing. Diggle merely nodded in response as Oliver slipped back into the main hall.

He glanced up to see Felicity, and Ray still stood talking to Walter but now Thea and Roy had joined them. He headed straight over without even a second thought.

"Well Felicity is one of the best," Thea said with a smile.

"I know that, I did try to persuade her to join my company. As VP as well and she still turned me down," Ray replied nudging her arm as everyone laughed.

Oliver stepped beside her and placed his hand to her lower back. Instantly she froze. He could feel her muscles tense, as she pulled away slightly from his touch before looking up into his eyes. He couldn't help staring down at her, the rest of the group forgotten as she leant fully into his touch. Her dress felt slightly scratchy under his fingertips but he could instantly feel the warmth of her body. He watched in awe as her pupils dilated simply from his touch, and then her tongue peeked out to wet her lips and his eyes followed it's path. All he wanted was to lean down and kiss her, to capture her lips and push her against a wall.

"Excuse us guys, but we're heading out," Tommy's voice cut through and Felicity looked away. Oliver stood there for a second before he glanced around to see the knowing smirk of Thea, an embarrassed looking Roy, and Ray, and Walter smiling.

"Well thank you for coming," Felicity said with a smile. She stepped out his grasp, almost reluctantly, to hug Laurel and Tommy goodbye.

"Yes guys, thank you," Thea added hugging them as Felicity stepped back. He couldn't help notice at how much closer she stood to him, how she leant into his arm.

"We'll see you soon buddy," Tommy said patting Oliver's free arm.

"Of course."

"Yep, we have Thea's rehearsal dinner soon," Laurel added.

"That we do," Felicity said with a soft smile. "And we will all be there," she added looking at Thea.

"You better be," Thea teased.

"Well as long as the bride and groom are both there," Ray joked and instantly Roy looked up.

"I haven't got cold feet," he rushed out.

"He's joking babe," Thea whispered to him, hugging him tightly.

"Well we better be off, see you soon guys," Tommy said.

"Bye," Laurel added as everyone waved them off.

"So did you impress Walters associates?" Oliver asked Felicity with a soft smile.

"She did more than impress," Walter answered.

"A few want to use my services, others want security and some would like a deeper discussion," she replied with a shrug.

"Always down playing your skills," Ray added with a shake of his head.

"Oi," she replied glaring at him.

"You are one of the best by far," Ray continued.

"I am good at my job," she interrupted.

"It sounds more like you're remarkable at it," Oliver said.

"Thanks for remarking on it," she replied with a wide grin.

"Well I don't know about the rest of you but I think these two should get a room, so we're going to go," Thea said grasping Roy's arm. Instantly Oliver could see Felicity's cheeks turning red.

"Well it has been a long day, and I am feeling quite tired so maybe we should leave?" Oliver spoke evenly whilst staring at Felicity. He touched her lower back once more and he felt her instantly relax.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked looking up at him, a small concerned frown on her brow.

"I'm fine," he answered with a reassuring smile. She frowned a little deeper before turning back to the group.

"It has been a lovely evening as always Thea, so thank you. And to you too Walter for introducing me to your associates. And it was lovely to see you again Roy." She turned to look at Ray. "And of course I'll look into your research Ray, and we'll get lunch or something when I have made a decision."

"Of course," he replied smiling at her.

"So we'll be going now," Felicity added, leaving Oliver's touch once again before embracing Thea.

"Take care, both of you," Thea answered with a grin. She walked up to Oliver hugging him, as Felicity hugged the others goodbye.

"You'll see us soon Speedy," Oliver said softly feeling her grip loosen.

"I know, but we're always here," she replied staring at him. "Go easy on her," she whispered and he frowned. "And yourself, you need to reconnect." He frowned further, not understanding her as she stepped back beside Roy.

"Bye guys," Felicity said drawing his attention as she stood beside him.

"Bye," they all shouted as the pair headed for the exit.

* * *

Oliver sat beside her in the car, she was babbling happily about all the things people had wanted her to do, how happy she was to have supported him, to have helped and truthfully he was listening, he truly was. But all he could look at was her lips, how luscious they looked, how they'd taste and how'd they feel against his own. He wasn't sure if that was the alcohol, his memories, or something else gnawing away at him but he had never desired someone as much as he had Felicity tonight. He tried to control himself he really did, but when she turned slightly towards him and her dress moved a little higher up her thigh he was done for.

"I didn't even think the press was too bad tonight, which is a lovely change-" she stopped talking the moment his fingers touched the bare skin of her knee. She couldn't help it as he caressed her skin, it wasn't a brush, or a mistake, it was deliberate. His fingers moved tenderly, and gently inched higher on her thigh. She couldn't help the gasp that escaped her and his hand stopped. She looked up into his eyes then, they were completely blown and the blue darkened into an almost grey.

"Felicity," he whimpered and she couldn't help but smile at how he said her name. Her heart was beating wildly as she placed her own hand over hers, linking their fingers as she squeezed slightly. He stared into her eyes, stared hard like he was fighting an internal battle and she felt his warm palm squeeze her thigh. Before the car stopped and suddenly his hand moved away, and he looked away.

"Here you are, Mr and Mrs Queen."

"Thank you Greg," Oliver replied opening the door. He held his hand out for Felicity to take and she did so without missing a beat. She slid out, standing beside him in silence. Their hands still entwined as he lead them to the door. Neither spoke as she opened the door, neither said a single word as they stepped inside, and nor did they until the door shut.

"I enjoyed tonight," Felicity said softly as she faced him.

"Me too," he answered taking a step towards her letting her hand go. He stepped so close towering above her, he leant forward leaving a mere inch between their lips and instantly Felicity closed the gap. She threw her arms around his neck completely lost in the moment. She felt Oliver's arms wrap around her pulling her flush against him. She could feel his chest rumble as he moaned into the kiss. She missed the scrape of his stubbled against her lips, but then she felt his tongue caress hers and none of that mattered. This was her Oliver. The man she loved, the man she had known for 5 years. She felt his fingers pulling the zip of her dress down. She moaned pulling her lips from his and throwing her head back.

"God you're so fucking hot," he mumbled as he lavished her neck in kisses. She froze at his words. Her mind returning to earlier in the evening, remembering that she wanted more than a fuck, that she wanted more than just sex.

"Oliver," she whispered loosening her grip. "Oliver, stop." And in a heartbeat he did. He pulled back, not letting go but looked into her eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" he whispered looking all over.

"No… I just… I don't think this is a good idea."

He let go immediately stepping back. "Oh." He looked so hurt, and she reached out for him grabbing his arm.

"No, no… I'm not… god!" she grumbled at her confused mind. "I don't want to rush, I want us to reconnect but not like that, not yet."

"I understand," he whispered in response not meeting her eyes.

"I honestly don't think you do." That caused him to look up at her. "Look, I…" she took a deep breath. "I, l… I really care about you, and I know that you don't feel the same way, so this would be sex for you, but for me it would be something more." She swallowed looking him in the eye. "And I need it to mean something, I'm sorry." She let her eyes flutter closed. It was the brush of his finger tips on her cheek that caused them to open wide.

"You have no reason to be sorry," he whispered. "But I think we should get some sleep."

"Agreed." She nodded.

"Goodnight Felicity," he said softly placing a kiss to her cheek before heading up the stairs.

"Goodnight Oliver," she called after him.


	6. Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: As always thank you everyone for the support and if you have any questions or queries, or even just wanna chat about this story all you have to do is message me. Now continuing from that, this chapter is not an easy one, it will hurt, and may shock, I am prepared for whatever reactions follow (I'll just post and run away for awhile :P) but no seriously, I apologise wholeheartedly if I cause any distress, things do get a little smutty too, but nothing not within the rating. So I wont say I hope you enjoy, but I hope you understand, and hold on tight for the inevitable angst and pain that will be here.

Oliver sighed as he loosened the knot of his tie and undid his top button. He'd been stuck in a day of meeting after meeting barely even managing to get food before he was whisked away into another. He'd spent literally hours hearing about proposals and deals. He knew his last meeting had run over late into the night, but finally they'd closed the deal of taking over another company, and now he was on his way home in the back seat of the company limo. He grabbed the whiskey decanter taking a quick gulp straight from the bottle after the long day. He pulled his phone out his pocket finally turning it back on. He froze when he saw the 20 missed calls from Felicity, 10 from Thea, and handful from Tommy, Laurel and even Diggle. He stared at the array of messages in his inbox and instead listened to his voicemail messages.

"Message 1, received today at 5.30pm."

"Oliver, it's me where are you? Thea's rehearsal dinner starts in an hour." Oh god, he had completely forgotten about it!

"Message 2, received today at 6pm."

"Oliver I've tried calling but no answer you've got 30minutes until it starts, if not you'll have to meet us there."

"Message 3, received today at 6.28pm."

"I've called work and even left a message with your dad's receptionist, but she said you were busy. Don't miss your sisters dinner."

"Message 4, received today at 6.45pm."

"Ollie man, where are you? Felicity is worried sick, and Thea is pissed. Just get here asap." Tommys voiced ended as he sighed deeply, he had completely forgotten about Thea's rehearsal dinner and at this time of night it would be completely pointless.

"Message 5, received today at 7.30pm."

"You're an hour late Ollie! Where are you? If you don't get in touch within the next hour don't bother showing." He could hear the hurt in Thea's voice as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He grabbed the whiskey bottle taking another generous drink before continuing to listen.

"Message 6, received today at 8.30pm."

"Oliver I've called repeatedly, so have others, and we've left messages at QC too. The receptionist says you're stuck in a meeting she can't interrupt. So I guess I'll just see you when I get home." Felicity's voice faded and the instant disappointment made his heart ache.

"Message 7, received today at 10.34pm".

"You better have a damn good excuse Ollie! Not only did the man who's supposed to be giving me away not turn up, but he also abandoned his wife. You've got some making up to do." Thea's angry tone finally faded and he hit delete getting rid of all the messages. He grabbed the bottle again, not even thinking as he began to drink and drink. He needed to numb away the anger, and disappointment, and the feelings of regret.

When the car finally rolled to a stop he'd drank over half the bottle and everything didn't feel as bad as it did 10 minutes ago.

"Thanks," he mumbled to the driver as he staggered out of the limo and up to the door. He pulled his key out and unlocked it, expecting the house to be in darkness but was surprised to see the kitchen light still on.

"Oliver?" he heard Felicity call out and he took a deep breath as he locked the door and walked towards her voice.

"Yeh it's me," he called back stepping through the doorway. She was wearing her pyjamas, her hair down in loose curls and her glasses on, her makeup was removed and she stood up from the table.

"Where were you?" she asked with a frown.

"Where do you think I was?" he snapped angrily walking towards the refrigerator.

"Well with the smell of you I'd say a brewery," she answered instantly.

He ignored her as he pulled a bottle of beer from the fridge, easily opening it with his hand. He took a long sip as she crossed her arms over her chest shaking her head at him. "If you must know I've been stuck at work," he answered in anger.

"So works more important than family now?" she countered.

"You've got no idea what you're talking about," he snapped. "They are my family!" he shouted slamming the bottle on the side.

"What and Thea isn't? I'm not?" she asked standing her ground.

"Of course she is! But we had to seal the deal!" He couldn't help how loud his voice was as he stepped closer gesturing around. "That is my job!"

"Yeh but it isn't your whole life!" she shouted back, and the fact that he was now directly in front of her, towering over her and she didn't even bother made something inside Oliver snap.

"My whole life? I DON'T KNOW THIS LIFE! I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT!" he screamed into her face.

"Stop using that as an excuse Oliver," she answered staring into his eyes.

"AN EXCUSE!" he bellowed leaning closer.

"You didn't come to Thea's rehearsal and that's not down to your accident, that's on you," she said calmly. He could feel the anger bubbling the more he looked at her, the more he stood this close to her. He hadn't touched her, not for nearly a week and being around her was driving him insane. He wanted to ravish her, wanted to fuck the anger and frustration out of himself, and get her off at the same time.

"Fuck it," he mumbled right before he furiously latched onto her lips. She didn't respond for a second, but then she seemed to kiss him back with as much vigour. He wasted no time in grabbing her, lifting her, spinning around and pushing her up against the wall. She gasped in clear surprise as he continued to kiss her. He wasn't gentle, he wasn't soft and tender as he bit into her lip causing a moan to erupt from deep in her chest. He smirked despite himself, loving that he could do this to her, that he made her into such a lustful mess as she clearly did to him. Her legs wrapped around his hips as she pushed herself further into him, rubbing right up against his now clear erection. He growled in response, kissing even more forcefully before he moved one of the hands holding hers up to her pyjama pants. He didn't even hesitate as he pushed his hand under the fabric between them.

"Oliver," she moaned loudly as his fingers brushed against the skin of her abdomen. He moved his attention to her neck, sucking and nibbling not caring at all if he covered her in bruises. He pushed her a little harder into the wall and her hands grasped his shoulders tightly as she panted. His fingers delved further as he came into contact with uncovered skin. He groaned into her neck, knowing she was bare right under her pants. He pushed his hand lower, cupping her. She gasped loudly and then moaned deeply. He could feel how wet she was just from the simple action.

"God you really want me to fuck you don't you," he grumbled by her neck. "You said all this stuff and all you really want is me to fuck all this anger and hurt away." He could feel her pushing his shoulders but she didn't even move him as he continued to kiss her neck.

"Oliver, stop," she said unable to help the moan that followed.

"I'm not convinced you truly want me to," he said cupping her more firmly. "I don't know why you just don't give us both what we want." She shook her head violently, before she did something that truly stunned him. She slapped him hard across the face. In an instant he pulled away from her, leaving her flush against the wall looking completely dishevelled.

"I said stop," she repeated. "And when I say it, I mean it." He could see her bottom lip trembling as he averted his gaze.

"Well if you won't give me some relief I might as well go to someone who will," he slurred the last words as he stormed off from her without even a second thought.

* * *

Oliver downed the row of shots to cheers of the women around him. He wasn't 100% sure where he was or truthfully how he'd gotten there but none of that mattered, because truthfully nothing did. He couldn't remember why he was so angry, or most of the night. He just knew he was having a good time. Women had practically thrown themselves at him the moment he stepped through the doors, and truthfully the distraction of their warmth was somewhat comforting. He'd danced, he'd sang, he'd drank all, and he knew he should feel bad but he just couldn't seem to care. He was smiling at a brunette sat beside him, she was leaning closer and closer to him and he just wanted to feel the warmth of another person.

"God damn it Oliver!" Tommy shouted instantly drawing his attention away from the woman at his side. "Do not serve him another drink," he directed the bar tender.

"But he owns-"

"As do I, but who do you think is the one sober enough to remember all this?" Tommy snapped.

"Of course..." he added with a nod clearing up the bottles and glasses around where Oliver sat.

"You're coming with me."

"Tommy! Come on! Don't be a spoil sport, join us!" Oliver replied wrapping his arms around the shoulders of the two nearest women.

"I don't want to."

"You're no fun anymore," Oliver slurred reaching for another drink.

"Nope," Tommy pushed it out the way. "You either come with me now, or I'll have security drag your ass to the office."

"Oh... you want to play it that way?" Oliver added with a wink.

"We aren't kids anymore Oliver, this isn't a game," he could hear the anger in his tone, as the women giggled around them. He felt Tommy's hand wrap around his arm.

"Okay, okay," he said throwing his hands up. "I'm coming. Sorry ladies," he added with a wink.

He stood up and instantly his head and legs felt wobbly. He watched as Tommy instinctively wrapped his arm around him and helped him into the back. He walked them into a long corridor that lead to a key coded door. Tommy opened it easily and before he knew it, he was inside an office sat on a sofa.

"What the hell were you thinking man?"

"What?" Oliver asked blinking trying to focus with the lights.

"How much have you had to drink?" he asked walking towards him and looking in his eyes.

"Lots, shots, whiskeys, wine, beer..." He shrugged leaning into the sofa.

"You're an idiot," Tommy said with a shake of his head. He wanted to protest, wanted to say things back but he was too tired. His eyes felt heavy as he relaxed into the soft material, Tommys voice became distant as he let the darkness take over.

* * *

It was an alarm blaring out that caused Oliver to rise. He could feel his head pounding, and the room spinning without even opening his eyes. He wrapped himself in the duvet, trying to ignore the sound but it only seemed louder. So even despite the nausea he sat up opening his eyes.

"Nice to see you're up," Tommy said standing in the doorway, his phone in hand blaring out the alarm.

"Would you stop that?" he snapped. Tommy pressed a button, the sound stopped instantly and Oliver lay back onto the bed. "Thank god," he mumbled throwing his arm over his eyes to stop the light from filtering in from the window. "Wait... where am I?" he asked sitting up once more with a wince as his head pounded.

"You're at my place," Tommy answered. "Water and painkillers are by the bed, you have time for a shower in the ensuite but we're leaving in 30 minutes."

"What? Why? Let me sleep this off."

"No," Tommy answered crossing his arms over his chest. "We're going to get breakfast and talk, properly," he said staring at him. "Got that?"

"Why?"

"Do you even remember any of last night? What you did? What you said? Where you went?" Oliver frowned unable to remember anything. He sat there frowning trying to focus.

"I didn't think so, so you better hurry up." Tommy turned leaving the room without another word. He knew he must have royally screwed up if he was at Tommys and if he'd drunken so much he couldn't remember a single thing.

* * *

Oliver sat in the booth, his cup of coffee in front of him whilst he leant with his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. He had his eyes closed, his head throbbing but all he could see was the black hair, and purple lips of a woman that had been haunting his dreams, and his daydreams even more lately.

"So are you ready to talk?" Tommy asked with a mouthful of food.

"Have you finished eating?" he countered not even looking up.

"Do you remember this place?"

"Of course I do, it was our usual haunt for a hangover cure."

"Yep."

"But clearly my 27 year old self is not used to this," he mumbled finally looking up.

"Well of course not," he answered with a shake of his head.

"What are we doing here Tommy?" he asked as Tommy pushed his plate to the side.

"Well considering I couldn't have breakfast with my family I thought I'd take us somewhere you'd remember, oh and you're paying the bill," he replied before drinking his own coffee.

"But why?" Oliver grumbled.

"Because I don't want to talk about what happened in front of my daughter," he answered. "Can you remember anything now?"

"I missed Thea's rehearsal dinner," he supplied. "I had a big deal at work and I never noticed the time."

"Yep well Thea is the one who needs to hear your explanation because she is pissed Ollie."

"But she should understand, what with dad and work."

He watched as Tommy grimaced. "Exactly, dad and work, not you. We always said from being kids that we didn't want to be like our dads."

"We aren't kids anymore Tommy," Oliver answered with a shrug.

"No, we're adults," he replied. "And we have to take responsibility for our own actions now."

Oliver couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. "You're kidding me right?"

"No."

"You went to college and studied business to take on your father's company, you drank, you did drugs, and you slept your way through it all!" His voice rose as Tommy just sat there.

"Yeh I did, because I was young and stupid."

"Yeh well I'm doing exactly what you did."

"No, you're doing exactly what you did 5 years ago, well actually longer than that. You aren't growing up or taking responsibility, you're using your accident as an excuse to drink, and if I hadn't stopped you last night, you'd probably would have cheated on your wife too."

"It isn't an excuse Tommy," Oliver snapped. "I woke up and I thought I was with your wife, I don't remember anything, at all. Now I have to pretend to be a part of a life I do not even remember!"

"And that, right there is exactly why you need to go talk to someone."

"I don't-"

"If you finish that sentence with you don't need help I will literally drag your ass out of here." Oliver merely glared at him. "What do you want me to say Tommy?" he asked.

"So you remember not showing up to the rehearsal, what else do you remember?"

Oliver closed his eyes trying to focus on anything, and everything from the last 12 hours. "I remember dancing, and shouting, and shots."

"That's the scary thing," Tommy started. "That you got so wasted you can't remember anything."

"That was a common occurrence-"

"No, not for me I always remembered things. But you, the drugs, they made you forget."

"So you think I'm doing drugs now?" Oliver asked shaking his head.

"Truthfully can you tell me you aren't? Can you tell me you remember last night in such detail to remember if you did or didn't?"

"I..." He stopped to think about it. "I don't know."

"And therein lies the problem," Tommy said staring at him. "We all care about you, and we're all here for you but you have got to help yourself before something bad happens."

"Like what? I end up getting my stomach pumped."

"As bad as that would be, I was thinking more along the lines of hurting someone, maybe even someone you care about."

Oliver shook his head. "That wouldn't happen."

"If you say so," Tommy mumbled. "But I think you need to get help before things get worse and you can't fix them. Before you do something you can never take back."

"Why do you say that like I already have?" he asked frowning at him.

"When you were off your face last time you and Sara got arrested, you only got off because of your parents, but it isn't that simple now. You have got to learn to take responsibility."

"You keep saying," Oliver spat back, fed up of hearing the same things repeated.

"I've never heard Felicity as upset as I did last night."

"So that's the real reason we're here, I hurt her feelings?"

"Truthfully I don't know what you did. But it takes a lot to shake her, and the fact she sound so distressed last night was the only reason I came to find you, which I'm glad I did."

He tried to ignore the pang of regret and shame from hearing how much he had upset her instead changing the direction of the conversation. "How'd you even know where I was?"

"Well considering it's you, I knew you'd be at our club," he answered with a shrug. "But you need to talk to Felicity."

"Why? She hasn't exactly showed any concern."

"You are joking right? She insisted I stay in the room with you last night incase you were sick, she's been texting every hour or so just to see how you are. That woman has done nothing but show concern for you since you met 5 years ago." Oliver swallowed hard at the insinuation that Felicity cared about him more than anyone ever had, and the weight of what that meant.

"What did I do?" he uttered more to himself than Tommy. He ran his hand down his face willing himself to remember something more about last night.

"I think the time's come to ask her," Tommy answered snapping him out his thoughts. He looked up at him as he pulled his wallet out.

"I thought I was paying?" Oliver asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh you are," Tommy added pulling out a business card and handing it over to him. "For when you decide to talk to someone. They were suggested to me from a dear friend, a friend who I trust implicitly and was right that I needed to share some thoughts with someone. So trust me, and them." Oliver stared at the simple writing on the card his fingers running across the letters. "I'm going to nip to the bathroom, you pay the bill and I'll take you home." Oliver merely nodded in response as he pulled out his wallet, placing the card inside before he left a few bills on the table.

* * *

Tommy dropped him off with a simple goodbye. He walked slowly up the path hoping that the door was open because he really didn't want to have to ring the doorbell or worse call Felicity to let him in. To his surprise the door was opened, he stepped inside to utter silence. He stood there for a moment briefly remembering that he slammed the door on his way out last night. He stood listening for any sign that Felicity was awake in the house, and that's when he heard the soft gentle tap of fingers on a keyboard. He took a deep breath trying to ready himself for what was about to come. He walked over to the study door and stood straighter before pulling the door open.

"Arrgggghhhh," Felicity squealed as the door opened with more force than he intended. She spun in her chair, her hand up to her throat pulling her dressing gown closer around her neck. "Oliver!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you jump." He stepped closer and she stood abruptly from her chair taking a small but noticeable step back. Instantly he stopped in his tracks tilting his head to look at her as she avoided his gaze. An uneasy silence fell where Oliver shuffled his feet on the spot.

"Do you even remember any of last night?" she whispered into the space still not meeting his eyes.

"Not really," he admitted. "I just remember lots of shouting, and slamming the door, and lots of drinking," he answered rubbing the back of his neck.

"So you don't remember any of this?" She turned to her computer and clicked a few buttons before article after article popped up onto her screen, there were various photos and even looked like video clips. He swallowed as he took a glance at it all, he was in various states throughout. He was doing shots off of a woman in one, in several others he was dancing with women but appeared to be more like them grinding than dancing, and he was drinking heavily. His shirt was partly opened on several, his tie and jacket missing from nearly all.

"Felicity, I'm sorry."

"Don't," she said firmly raising her hand.

"What?"

"Just don't say something you don't mean."

"But-"

"No okay? I have been trying so hard to take the pressure away, I have been trying hard to not push anything and let you make the decisions you need to but I am not your punching bag. I am not a woman you can just use and damn all the consequences."

"What? Why would you think that?"

"I get it you're frustrated and you need to blow off some steam because…" her voice broke as she tried to find the words, "I'm not able to give you what you want right now." He watched as she let go of the gown and rubbed at her eyes under her glasses. "But that doesn't give you any right to treat me like you did."

His eyes instantly landed on her neck as her arms crossed over her chest. Her neck, throat and collar bones were littered in array of bruises and bite marks.

"What… what happened?" His mind instantly trying to pieces things together.

She moved her hand up to cover her neck the moment he spoke. "Nothing it doesn't matter."

He stepped forward without thought and gently moved her hand replacing it with his own. "It does matter," he whispered staring down at her, and he could see her legs shaking and her body tensing from his touch.

"I've had a lot worse," she answered.

His fingertips gently touched every visible mark as he took all the small whimpers and sounds she made to heart. "Did… did I do this?" he asked unable to hide the quiver in voice. He watched as she bit her bottom lip and have him a nod. Instantly he pulled away, taking several steps back and he watched her reach out for him.

"I… what did I do? How could I have hurt you… what was I thinking?" he rushed the words out, the guilt gnawing at him.

"Hey listen." She grabbed his wrist and he looked at her. "I promise, I have had a lot worse bruises caused by you."

"What? Why?" He felt completely and utterly ashamed of himself. "How can you bear to be near me? How can you want to touch me? I know I caused great pain with the drinking, and all those things but to physically hurt you… I've never… I wouldn't, would I?" His mind was a mess as he tried to figure out if he'd ever hit a women before, ever marked someone.

"Oliver…" he didn't even register her words as he stepped away from her running his hands up his face pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes before moving them and threading his fingers at the back of his neck. "Oliver!" She said forcefully, grasping him to stop his movements.

"How can you even look at me?" he whispered unable to meet her eyes.

"Oliver, these bruises, these bites they'll fade-"

"But not… not how I scared you or the pain I caused making them…"

"No, stop," she said firmly grasping his chin to force him to look into her eye. "You have never scared me or hurt me like that Oliver, never. You've only left marks when we've gotten carried away, in pleasure not pain. Believe me, I know what it's like to be beaten by a man and this wasn't it." He stared into her eyes trying to figure out if it was the truth, but all he could see was warmth.

"Someone used to hit you?" he whispered stepping closer.

"Yes, but that's in the past," she said with a soft smile.

He nodded letting it drop for her sake. "And we mark each other in pleasure? I did that to you in pleasure?" He gestured to her throat.

"Yes, you were a little more forceful last night, but I didn't stop you, not at first anyway."

"But you did?" he whispered his eyes closing briefly before he remember her hand hitting him hard across the cheek. "You slapped me, to get me to stop."

"Yes, but you did stop."

"I am so sorry," he whispered his hands flying out to cup her face. "I… I'm so sorry, I'll stop drinking, I'm not… I won't…" He could still feel the guilt and shame hallowed deep in his chest at thinking that he could hurt Felicity, or anybody in that way.

"I think it's time we got you some help," Felicity whispered not looking into his eyes. "I know, you don't want to talk but after last night-"

"I need to," he answered letting her face go.

"And maybe book an appointment with the doctor too, that way we can get the full picture." He nodded. "I'll sort it."

"I can help you, go with you."

"No, I need to do this myself," he replied with a determined look, unable to stop staring at the marks.

"Hey listen." His eyes snapped back up to hers. "Maybe, maybe we should find some time, before the wedding, between our jobs for us."

"Like a date?" he asked.

"Well, it doesn't have to be that not if you don't want it-"

"No, I think that would be a good idea," he answered. "Where we can just be us two, without everything, and everyone."

"Then I'll arrange it," she added with a gentle smile.

"And I'll sort it with work." She nodded reaching her hand out placing it on his chest. He stared down at her hand placed over his heart. "I'm truly sorry," he whispered.

"I know. That wasn't who you are, and it doesn't define you. I know who you are right here." She tapped her fingers against his heart and he could feel it beating erratically in his chest.

"How?" he whispered staring down at her, unable to see what she could.

"Because I always have. You might have forgotten it all but deep down, the great man I know you can be is in there still."

"How can you be so sure?" he asked placing his hand over hers and stepping closer. "How can you believe that after everything?" His other hand landed on her shoulder as his thumb brushed against one of the visible marks.

"I just do Oliver," she answered. "You have to believe that, we've been through so much together, and we know each other. Well, knew each other, and I don't want to lose that."

"I want to get to know you Felicity." He watched as she smiled shyly, and her fingers twitched beneath his and her body relaxed.

"As do I."

"So we'll have a new first date," he whispered.

"I'd like that," she answered with a nod.

"And…" he stopped himself as he gently removed his hands from her. She kept hers on his chest staring up at him.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter," he replied rubbing a hand at the back of his neck.

"No, don't do that. You can tell me anything," she uttered staring him straight in the face with such a caring expression it took him by surprise.

"Can we touch each other? I know you want to go slow, and last night I was a drunken idiot, but… I…" he struggled to express his words, he didn't feel he had any right to ask for her touch or him to be able to touch her after what had happened.

"Yes, god yes," she answered her hand moving up his chest to run her fingers up across his jaw. He couldn't help but laugh at her obvious need as much as his, even if he didn't fully understand.

"Good," he whispered before he did something bold. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. Instantly her arms wrapped around his neck as she buried her face there too. Instantly she surrounded him, and for the first time in a long time he felt a warmth deep in chest, something he wasn't sure he'd ever felt, and suddenly he felt comfort. He held a little tighter trying not to hurt her as he buried his face into her hair.

"Hey, everything's okay," she whispered, holding him tighter. It was only with her words that he realised he was crying, that his shoulders were shaking as the tears rolled down his cheeks, and for the first time since he'd woken up in hospital he felt a sense of peace.


	7. Past and Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Again thank you for your support, and I apologise for those I offended/upset. As always the warning of pain/angst remains, even if it's got some happy moments too. Buckle in people this whole story is a crazy roller coaster ride. Now enjoy yourselves, and hopefully I'll be back to post something next week!

Felicity couldn't help the smile on her face as she stood looking at herself in the mirror. After that day when Oliver apologised, when he let himself be vulnerable with her, things had started to change. For the last 2 weeks, he had let her in. He spoke to her about work, and asked about hers. He hadn't touched a drink as he started to trust her again, started to be more open. They had both gone to see Thea, explaining everything earning her forgiveness after much bribery from Oliver. But today was the day of their first date, a day of reconnecting with the past whilst making new memories.

"Felicity are you ready?" Thea shouted.

"Kind of," Felicity mumbled from behind the curtains.

"What do you mean kind of?" she asked.

Felicity didn't even hesitate in pulling the curtain back and stepping out. Thea was stood there staring as the lady altering the dresses gasped. She glanced down at the zipper that was only partly done and would move no further. "It won't zip up," she answered with a shrug.

"Well I did all the measurements correctly," the lady said stepping up with a frown.

"I mean, it could be all the ice cream I've been eating lately." The woman frowned at her. "What? I eat when I'm stressed," she mumbled.

"The weddings in less than 2 weeks, and I'm not sure I can alter this in time," she answered with a shake of her head. "It needs a lot of work, the bust isn't right, the zipper won't close so it needs releasing."

"Thea, I don't think this is going to work," Felicity said with a sad sigh. "I'm sorry," she added looking down with guilt.

"Hey, it's fine," she replied stepping closer. "I think you've had enough on you mind."

"I don't want to let you down, but I think it better I not be a bridesmaid."

"Felicity, you can wear another dress-"

"This is your day Thea, and I don't want me or Oliver to distract people from that."

"Okay," she agreed sadly. "I understand."

"You still have Sin, and your other friends."

"But you'll still be there right?"

"Of course," Felicity smiled brightly. "I can't miss my sisters wedding."

"Good, because I don't think I could do this without you."

"Oh I'm more than sure you could handle all this. You've done a marvellous job."

"Well I might plan functions but it's different when it's your own wedding."

"Hey, I've been here the majority of the time, and I think it's wonderful. A small ceremony and then a party, it sums the two of you up perfectly."

"Thea?" Olivers voice caused them both to turn in his direction. He was in a gorgeous black tuxedo, and bowtie. It was perfectly fitted, reminding Felicity very much of how he looked on their wedding day. She blinked several times as Oliver stared at Thea, and she was kind of glad he wasn't looking her way because she wasn't 100% sure if she was drooling or not.

"Yes big brother," Thea answered with a quick smirk at Felicity.

"I've been thinking."

"Oh have you now?"

"Yes, and I know that there is clearly something going on with you and our parents." Instantly Thea tensed and Felicity couldn't help but grimace. "But you're their little girl, and don't you think they deserve to be there?"

"No," she answered plainly.

"They raised you."

"And?" she countered crossing her arms over her chest.

"They're still our mom and dad, and you can't tell me otherwise that mom wouldn't have loved doing all this with you, that you wouldn't have gotten married at Queen Manor." Felicity looked at Thea whose eyes were starting to tear up as she struggled with her emotions. "I just think you should at least invite them."

"Oliver," Felicity interrupted knowing she needed to step in. "Why don't you go get changed and I'll speak to Thea?" She walked up to him and placed her hand on his arm.

"But..."

She leant up and whispered into his ear. "Trust me." He glanced into her eyes as she pulled back, she smiled at him and he gave a nod in acceptance before walking away.

"God how do you do that?" Thea asked with a sigh. "I mean the whole not spilling the entire truth."

"It isn't my truth to tell," Felicity answered. "If you want to tell him Thea, I won't stop you. I was just giving Moira and Robert the opportunity to."

"Well look how quickly he's gotten mixed up in it all again," Thea commented waving her arm around.

"I know, but he doesn't remember what we do, and if I force his hand, well it could end even more badly."

"I know," she replied in a whisper.

"I'm... I don't want to tell you what to do, but if there is one piece of advice I could give, it is that I wish I had gotten more time with my parents." Thea's eyes shot up to hers. "My dad left when I was young and as you know my mother died."

"But that's different," Thea countered.

"Probably, but at least they're still here, and still around. I am not saying you need to forgive them, or even trust them ever again, but offering an olive branch is surely not a bad thing?" Thea raised an eyebrow skeptically. "I mean someone has to be the bigger person so why not be it? I know it's all a mess, and everything with Oliver isn't helping but... surely inviting them is enough."

"Weddings are meant to be happy," she whispered.

"Yes they are."

"And my parents weren't at your wedding."

Felicity couldn't help but look at her feet before taking a deep breath. "That was always Oliver's choice."

"He always seemed angrier than me, he seemed like something bigger-"

"You both went through different things," she interrupted. "He just doesn't speak much of his, and he felt the pain for you too."

"He never was one for sharing."

"He still isn't," Felicity mumbled with a sad sigh. She felt Thea's hand on a her arm as she gave her a sympathetic smile.

"I'll do it," she whispered in response.

"What?"

"I'll invite my parents."

"Thea don't do for me, and definitely not for Oliver-"

"No, you were right, I have to be the better person."

"Be the better person?" Oliver asked as he appeared back in his casual clothes.

"Yes, I'll invite mom and dad but they are not playing a massive role and you are still giving me away."

"But you're dads little-"

"I'd quit whilst you're ahead," Felicity butted in, causing both to turn in her direction. She could feel her cheeks flush at his gaze as she stood there swaying slightly.

"I want you to give me away Ollie," Thea added. "No one else. You don't remember it but you've been amazing these last few years, you're the reason I found Roy."

"But he's your dad, I don't understand why you wouldn't want him to." Felicity frowned as she felt a strange sensation come over her.

"I want you to," she snapped in anger.

"Guys..." Felicity whispered starting to feel dizzy.

"What if I don't want to? What will you do then?" he huffed out.

"Then I'll walk down the aisle on my own," she shouted and just at that moment Felicity felt light headed, and like she was falling.

"Felicity!" Thea shrieked and suddenly she felt a pair of strong arms grasping her, holding her up. She looked up to see Oliver's concerned face staring down at her. She couldn't keep her eyes off him as he swooped her up and carried her to the nearby sofa. Felicity paid no attention to the nearby commotion but instead focused solely on him.

"Are you okay?" he asked cupping her cheeks.

She smiled at him taking a deep breath. "I'm okay," she whispered.

"Are you sure?" Thea asked stepping closer. "The manager got you come water." She handed the glass over to her and she took a sip.

"Yes, I guess I shouldn't have skipped coffee and breakfast this morning," she answered as Oliver moved his hands from her face to her arms as he sat beside her.

"You just nearly collapsed," he whispered.

"I'm fine honestly," she replied continuing to sip her water.

"Maybe we should take you to a doctor?" Thea mused out loud.

"No," Felicity answered standing up. Oliver instantly stood beside her. She could feel his touch on the small of her back even through the fabric of the dress.

"Felicity," he whispered and she glanced up at him.

"I'll get out of this dress, then we can go get something to eat and I'm sure I'll be fine." He stared down at her and she couldn't help but shake her head. She reached up placing her had on his cheek. "Trust me," she added and for a brief second his eyes closed before he nodded.

"Well I still have Becca, and Sin to deal with when they get here, so enjoy your day," Thea said with a tender smile on her face as she glanced between the pair.

Felicity smiled as she pulled away heading towards the changing room. "I'll buy a new dress before the wedding," she commented before pulling the curtain shut.

* * *

Oliver couldn't help but stare at her as she finished the last bite of her monster of a Big Belly Burger. "You have quite the appetite."

"Well I did skip breakfast," she commented instantly and he couldn't help but smile.

"You feeling better?" he had to ask because a part of him genuinely was afraid with how she basically would have fallen to the floor if he hadn't caught her inches before.

She smiled at him, tilting her head in the adorable way when she was surprised by him. "Yes, I told you. I just needed some food," she answered pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"And of course you chose Big Belly," he added.

"Well this restaurant used to be our go to place when we were at QC, well I was at QC, no... when we lived in the city." She cringed at herself as the words came tumbling out. "Because we used to live here, in the city."

"I know that."

"You do?" she asked in clear awe.

"Tommy and Thea told me."

And for a brief second he saw her face fall at the fact he couldn't remember, but quickly she smiled at him. "Oh they did."

"Yep. I guess that's how we started?"

"We started at QC," Felicity whispered looking down at her plate. Her demeanour changed in an instant.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yep," she answered. "You were very insistent, you didn't take no for an answer, but then I guess somewhere in those early days it turned into friendship."

"So I was basically after more?" he asked.

"In the very early days, yes. But then it turned to more than that, we were friends and I honestly don't know if you even ever had a female friend without sleeping with them until then."

"Probably not," he mused thinking hard. "But we lived in the city?"

"Yeh," she answered with a smile. "I can even show you if you want?"

"Show me? How can you show me?" he asked with a confused frown.

"We own it," she answered. "We decided to rent it out, to get some more money and planned on selling it when the market got better."

"Oh, but aren't there tenants?"

"No, they left a few months ago, and I've just been busy," she replied. "But we can go see it if you want? No pressure."

"Sure, why not." He shrugged.

Oliver followed Felicity up the stairs, he watched as she hummed with a nervous energy, constantly glancing at him. "We're here," she said as she moved towards a door. He placed his hand on the banister, and instantly his brain clicked to a woman dressed nearly in black, she was sat on a stool in some place he didn't recognise. "So this is where we used to live." Her voice brought him back, as he stared at her and the dark haired woman eluded him once more.

"Okay."

She pushed the door open and stepped inside. He followed close behind shaking his head to rid himself of the daydreams. "It pretty much used to look like this," she said softly as his eyes glanced around the place. The kitchen, diner and living room were all in one with large windows letting in the light. The furniture was mismatched but the whole place seemed bright.

"This is tiny," he whispered still glancing around.

"Compared to your mansion, yes," she answered with a shrug shutting the door behind them. "But you had nothing, and I was the only one with the space."

"So we practically lived on each other?" he asked.

She laughed and he looked at her puzzled. "Sorry that was one of the first things you said when you moved in. But no, we both had our own space too." She gestured towards a small corridor off the space. He glanced down it, a single window at the bottom illuminating 3 doors. "First room was yours, second was mine and we shared the bathroom."

"Seriously? This is so small." He didn't wait for her lead this time as he opened the door to what was apparently his room. He was stunned to find a queen bed rammed in there basically from wall to wall, with a small bedside table, and a wardrobe.

"You made do with what we had," she admitted glancing down.

"So I'm guessing you didn't have much money."

"No," she answered straight away. "No, I didn't. My life wasn't easy, I got into MIT on a scholarship, and got this place with some money my mom left me," she mumbled leaning against the door.

"Your mom died?" he asked unable to help himself and she nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm supposed to remember that aren't I?" He grimaced feeling a little guilty.

"No," she replied shaking her head. "You don't remember any of this," she gestured, "so I don't expect you to."

"What... what happened?"

"What with?" she asked with a small frown.

"Us? Your parents? Did I ever meet them? How'd we go from being friends here, to married and in our home?" He couldn't help as the words rushed out and she merely nodded.

"Can we go into the living room?" she asked in response. "It's just more open and we can sit."

"Of course," he replied following her. He went straight for the sofa sitting down on one end expecting her to sit with him but she didn't. She instead sat on the other sofa, as if avoiding him.

"I guess I should start at the beginning," she said softly once more playing with her wedding band. "My father walked out when I was young. He just disappeared without a trace and so my mom raised me." Oliver just nodded as she continued. "My mom died in an accident at work when I first started college. So you've never met either of them," she said it so robotically as if trying to hide her emotions.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "More for making you relive it all."

Her eyes turned to him and he saw that flicker of pain she tried so desperately to hide. "It's okay," she whispered. "It was that pain, that lead me to my abusive ex boyfriend."

"Why?"

"When..." She took a deep breath struggling to find the words and Oliver wanted to move closer to touch her, and he found himself shuffling along the sofa without thought. "When my dad left, I thought something was wrong with me, that I was unlovable, that I was the problem, and my mom's death pushed me into another spiral. I lost the only person that loved me." And that was when his heart shattered because he realised then the depth of her anguish at him not remembering, at him being unable to love her yet. He instantly rose to his feet and sat beside her.

She looked completely shocked by his actions as he pulled her hands into his own. "You aren't alone now," he said with such determination that she looked at him in awe.

"I know that, but at that time I thought Cooper loved me, that he was good. He made me feel like only he loved me, that no one else ever would, so when he hit me it felt like it was my fault, and... I didn't want to be alone."

"No," he answered. "No, it was never your fault. No one should raise a hand to someone, it doesn't solve the problem," he whispered staring at her as she avoided his gaze. "I am so sorry I marked you Felicity."

"I told you, that wasn't abuse Oliver." He merely nodded because as much as her words were meant to reassure him, they didn't.

"It took a lot for me to gain the confidence to leave him, to gain confidence in myself, to graduate top of my class and to get offered a job at QC, and move in here. I am not the person I was, and a lot of friends, and people helped along the way." He nodded at her.

"I'm so glad you saw that, that you see how strong you are."

"You helped me too. You helped me to become the better person I am today, more than you ever realise."

He felt a lump in his throat because he knew he hadn't helped, his other self, the person he couldn't remember, had. "Felicity," he whispered her name running his fingers over her knuckles. "How?"

"You were there, you helped me fit in at QC, you believed in me and supported me through more than I can ever tell you." She smiled up at him as her eyes brimmed with tears. "Some bad things happened, things I don't want to talk about, things I... I just can't share with you right now."

"That's fine," he found himself saying as he heard the crack in her voice. "I don't need to know everything right now."

"You deserve to be so happy," she murmured. "And I can't... I don't want to destroy the new life you're building."

He frowned not really understanding. "I don't think that's possible."

Instantly she grimaced, her eyes fluttering closed as she tensed under his touch. "We, we became more after something happened and you were devastated and I was there as comfort, which lead to more."

"We slept together?" he asked and she nodded in confirmation.

She opened her eyes staring down at their joined hands and not at him. "But then, things changed, we... we wanted more and I was so scared," she barely whispered as she continued. "But you proved yourself over and over, and your love for me. That's why we moved into the house, we decided we wanted to start a fresh."

"That makes sense, but this is where it all started," he answered looking around.

"Yeh but we were planning for the future." And now it was his turn to tense up. The clear implication of the fact they needed a bigger home for children, to grow as a family made his heart pound and fear trickle down his spine.

"I see."

"But we're not thinking about that now," she rushed out, clearly he hadn't done a good job of hiding his fear. "We're just concentrating on you, and your health."

"Okay." He nodded trying to relax.

A silence fell on them as he glanced around the small space he had no memory of, trying to picture living there with Felicity. "We can leave you know," she whispered finally meeting his eyes fully.

"Sorry, I was just trying to picture living here."

"And?"

"It's... so small, I don't know how I ever adjusted from the mansion."

"You were probably too drunk to care," she answered with a sad smile.

"Was I really that bad?"

"We don't say it to hurt you, but yes you were." He nodded before she continued quickly. "I think it was the drugs more than anything. It scared people, and the rehabs never worked, with your parents money you had access which was cut when they cut you off."

"I guess it was a blessing in disguise then," he joked and he noticed the small wince she made. "Are you okay?"

"Yeh," she replied a little too quickly.

"Are you sure?" he asked squeezing her hand slightly.

"It's nothing," she answered and he stared at her intently for awhile trying to figure her out. "We can head home now, have a rest before tonight." She pulled her hands from his and stood up.

"Our date?" he asked as he stood up beside her,

"Yep, I have it all planned out."

"What's the plan then?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." She winked at him and he couldn't help but grin with a shake of his head.

"But how will I know how to dress?" he asked as they headed to the door.

"Just wear a nice suit, but make sure you're comfortable," she replied with a shrug.

"Okay." He nodded as they stepped out of the flat.

* * *

Oliver couldn't keep his eyes off her. She had gotten ready in secret, away from his prying eyes and he knew why. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress that hugged her figure, and he had to refrain from touching her as the car took them to wherever she had planned.

"You look amazing," he uttered, his hands lay in his lap as he tried to not touch her.

"You already said," she relied with a kind smile. Slowly she lifted her hand and placed it over his. "Are you nervous?" she asked.

"Maybe," he answered as she gently linked their fingers together on his thigh.

"It's just me, there's nothing to be nervous about."

"But I haven't… I don't date. I mean clearly I have dated but not that I remember, clearly not us, and I didn't usually date people, but rather slept with them-"

A small giggled escaped her as she shook her head. "Usually I'm the one talking in sentence fragments." He could feel his cheeks blushing as he rubbed his free hand at the back of his neck. "But it's just you and me, talking and getting some food."

"Oh, so we're eating out?"

"Yes, I thought it would make a change from take out," she said with another laugh and Oliver couldn't help but smile at her.

"So where exactly are we eating?" he asked squeezing her hand.

"Well, we'll be there soon," she replied with a brilliant smile. He nodded along but couldn't pull his eyes from her face. He had no clue how long they had been that way, how long he'd been staring at her as he gently squeezed her hand, but all he knew is that the car had stopped. "We're here," she told him pointing her head towards the window.

He merely nodded as she opened the car door and slipped out; not letting go of his hand as he followed close behind her. "Where exactly are we?" He asked looking around at the clear central Star City location.

"Your restaurant," she answered nodding towards the relatively large space in front of them.

"Overwatch Bar and Grill," he read aloud. "Where's the name from?"

"A nickname, you gave me long ago," she replied. "One that always seemed to stick, and in fact you thought was quite fitting of me."

"So I named it after you?"

"Yes," she whispered with a sad glint in her eyes.

He squeezed her hand and stepped forward. "Well then we better get inside." He tried to offer her a reassuring smile, and finally the sadness lifted. He said nothing as he stepped up to the doors in utter confusion, the closed sign was hanging there with barely any lights on. He glanced at Felicity who giggled a little.

"It's for us, they closed it for us."

"So there's no one else around?"

"No, just a few staff to serve us and lock up, but no one else. I told you, just me and you."

"Then let's get started." He pushed against the doors stepping inside.

* * *

Oliver sat there stunned by the place that he and Felicity had apparently created. It was so spaced out, yet retained the privacy in certain portions with the large bar in the middle, and the kitchen off in the back. He had enjoyed the food immensely, and the company even more so. He had laughed and listened to Felicity speak of the restaurant, of all the funny stories they had shared, all the happiness and joy she could think of, and he couldn't help but smile at her as she spoke so quickly.

"We have a lot of memories here?" he asked.

"Yep, we got engaged here, and had our wedding reception here too."

"I proposed here?" he asked a little stunned.

"Yeh, I managed to get this place pretty cheap, much like our own home and we did it up," she answered. "You did it one day, when we'd been working really hard, just before opening day." She looked wistful as if the memory was written all over her face and Oliver couldn't help but stare.

"How long ago was that?"

"About 2 years ago," she replied. "Though the first proposal was nearer 3."

"Wait? I proposed to you before and you said no?"

She nibbled her bottom lip looking uncertain. "Yes, but it wasn't like what you think."

"I don't think anything," he answered with a shrug. "But why did you turn me down the first time?"

"We hadn't been together very long, and we had an argument." She glanced down messing with their shared dessert. "And for some reason you thought you'd propose, apparently you didn't want to lose me but I wasn't ready then."

"But you were a few months later?"

"A lot of things happened, we got a home, we built a life together. It changed." She shrugged.

"So we got engaged here, and then when did we get married?"

"Just over a year ago, actually a year ago as of your accident," she practically whispered using her fork to move the remnants of their dessert around the plate.

"Our anniversary was the day I had my accident?" he asked a little shocked.

She nodded. "Yes," she whispered looking slightly pained.

"Tell me about that day, please," he asked reaching across the table. He stopped the fork moving, taking it from her and instead linking their fingers.

"Are you sure?"

"Well if it was our year anniversary I presume we had plans?" he questioned trying to get her to open up. He watched the frown on her face appeared. "What's wrong?" he asked rubbing his thumb over up her finger.

"Just of all the days you want to know about the last one?" she replied.

"I'm certain that if I really tried there are photos, videos, other people's memories of those days too. But that was… I presume that was just for us, so how'd our day start?"

"In bed," she blurted out and instantly he could see the blush on her cheeks.

He continued to stroke her finger waiting for more. "And?" he urged when she hadn't looked up in awhile.

"We… you…" he couldn't help but smile at her nervousness at talking to him.

"You know, I might not remember the fact that we are, but we are married, you don't need to be nervous when talking about sex."

"Making love," she corrected. "It was always more than just sex for us."

He couldn't help but swallow as his heart beat a little quicker and he didn't know why. "Why?"

"It felt like home," she answered meeting his eyes. "It was a connection, one that only we shared, one that felt like nothing either of us had felt before because it was love, and safety-"

"And home," he repeated her words and she nodded with a broad smile.

"Yeh, I've just always felt myself around you Oliver, no having to hide or pretend-"

"You still don't. I want to get to know everything about you," he replied instantly and meaning it.

He saw her breath catch in her throat as she tried to find the words. "We spent the whole morning in bed, and only dragged ourselves out for food." He laughed before she carried on. "You cooked, and we had breakfast in bed but by the afternoon they needed you here for some sort of check." She squeezed his hand a little.

"So I left you?" he asked staring around the space, thinking about his father with QC, how he always chose work over everything.

"No not like that," she answered staring at him. "I understood, plus you told me to pack for a weekend away." She smiled sadly.

"And we never got that."

"No, we didn't but that's okay, because you're okay."

"I'll have to make it up to you one day," he responded with a smile.

She looked completely taken aback. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. You don't need to make it right."

"No, but… maybe… one day." He shrugged squeezing her hand, and genuinely wondering what a future with Felicity would look like.

"Okay," she whispered clearly not wanting to argue. They sat for a little while, the waiter taking away their shared dessert as they just sat in a comfortable silence. "We can go look in your kitchen, see how it's all holding up," she suggested.

"Sure," he replied with a shrug, not really that interested.

"Come on." She smiled pulling at his hand. He easily allowed her to lead him as she maneuvered around the the restaurant with ease.

She pushed through the double doors stepping into a bigger kitchen than he expected. "This is where the magic happens," she said letting go of his hand. "Where you, and I spent a lot of time creating wonderful recipes." She twirled on the spot throwing her arms out with a giant grin. Oliver just stared at her as the joy just radiated from her. She wobbled slightly as she came to a stop before him.

"I would ask if you've been drinking but I know you haven't," he stated with a laugh.

"Well I only felt it fair that you weren't so I didn't," she answered with a shrug.

"You don't have to."

"You're making the effort to get help, and I want to support you."

He stared at his feet as she spoke feeling the shame and guilt gnawing at him. "Yeh," he mumbled and instantly he felt a hand slip into his.

"It's nothing to be ashamed about," she said pulling his hand for him to go further into the kitchen. He followed her wanting this conversation to end. "But you don't need to talk about that," she whispered as the staff that had been cleaning left the room. He didn't want to respond as he felt her hand squeezing his. "Well how about we try something?" she asked with a wink.

"Like what?" he asked, just happy to change the topic.

She let go of his hand and then turned to the counters in front of them. "I thought we could cook. Or rather you could," she answered with a twinkle in her eye.

"Right," he replied skeptically.

"I mean all you have to do is try."

"But I don't even know where everything is, or how to really cook."

"Well that's where I come in," she said jumping up and sitting on the counter top. He blinked as she pulled a draw open beside her to show an array of chef knives. "These are your specific knives."

"But… I…" He couldn't find the words as he frowned. She pulled out a knife handing it to him; the weight felt strange in his palm.

"How about we keep it simple, make a stew, or something," she mumbled to herself as she jumped back down and walked around the space plucking random ingredients from various shelves, compartments and fridges. "So we'll cut all this up, and I'll get the pots and pans." She placed them all down in front of him before grabbing a chopping board. "You go ahead and start," she encouraged.

Oliver just stood there completely flummoxed, he looked at the vegetables in front of him, some he recognised and some he didn't. He was stood stock still, the knife in hand. "Felicity…" he uttered but she carried on with her task completely oblivious.

"I know what we need, some music!" she declared happily walking away to another station. Oliver glanced between the knife and the vegetables; his hand shook violently as his mind raced. The instant the loud music played through the kitchen speakers his head began to pound and his ears rang. "Turn it off," he shouted as Felicity came to stand beside him.

"Oliver?" she asked placing a hand on his arm.

He pulled away abruptly, throwing the knife down onto the counter. "TURN IT OFF!" he screeched, covering his ears as his brain felt like it was about to leap out of his skull.

Felicity quickly rushed to turn the music off before returning to his side. "I'm sorry," she said softly approaching him slowly.

"No," he snapped unable to control the anger and adrenaline coursing through his veins. "I didn't ask to be here, I didn't ask for any of this! I don't want to cook, I don't want to cut or chop, I don't want anything to do with this!"

"But…"

"But what?" he shouted. "You didn't ask me to do this, you wanted me to! Like you brought me here because it holds memories for you!"

"NO!" Felicity finally snapped back, the anger written all over her face. "No it holds memories for US! And I am trying to save our marriage!" Her voice rose with every word before she spun on her heels. He watched her shoulders rise and fall as she clearly tried to control her rising anger. Oliver tried to do the same with his own breathing, trying to match hers.

"I'm sorry I can't remember," he finally spoke. She didn't turn back. "And that I snapped, it all just felt overwhelming."

"I'm sorry too," she responded. "I didn't mean to push you," she added turning to face him. "I just wanted this place to be special again."

"I wish it could," he answered.

"But I want it to be special for not just us, but you too."

"I know."

"And you aren't ready yet," she answered with a sad smile, her fingers reaching up to rub along the chain around her neck. "I think we should go home, before I ruin this night further."

She didn't go to touch him again as she walked passed him, so he reached out for her hand instead and she froze instantly. Her eyes fluttered closed as he squeezed her fingers gently. "It isn't ruined," he said softly, reassuring himself that neither was still angry. "Let's go home." She nodded slowly, not pulling out of his touch as they walked towards the doors hand in hand.


	8. Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: This is going to be a long note, sorry. I just wanted to explain some things, I started writing roughly 4 years ago after some horrible personal stuff, it took a while for me to decide to start posting that work and sharing it. Writing for me is a way to escape real life, and all the pain, sadness, tough times etc. I use it as a way to deal with things, to just take a step back. When I started I responded to everything (I still try to), and even now I take every comment to heart, but I have been dealing with some horrible things in real life, things I don’t want to get into here. But for the past year some peoples comments on my fics have been making me feel even worse. I love to interact, I love to hear what people think but it hurts to have something I’ve spent free time working on, using as an escape ripped to shreds. It feels personal, because it is personal. I carried on responding even to all the anger, until last year when I reached boiling point. I stopped writing, I stopped posting. Then this fic was born, and I worked on it privately until I felt ready to share again. By now, real life is getting a lot worse, and I’m tired of being made to feel worse about writing, something that is meant to be fun, all because I can’t please everyone (and I really do try to). So if I have an attitude I apologise, but it’s born out of years worth of things. Things I can never explain, but being made to feel not good enough in life and here, it hurts, it hurts a lot more, I don’t expect people to read my fics, let alone enjoy them. But I just expect common curtsey. If you don’t like my work, that’s totally okay! But you don’t have to go out your way to tell me you don’t like it, to tell me you wont be reading, how bad a writer I am. All that does is make me feel worse about my life. I don’t see myself as a writer, let alone a good one. I just hope someone might enjoy reading my work. SO truly I am sorry and it’s taken me awhile to want to post again.   
> BUT today is @tinaday3w birthday, and I didn’t have a gift for her and she said she wanted to read this, so happy birthday sweetie, I hope you enjoy this surprise. And I am sorry for this one.

Oliver stood nervously at the entrance to the small private room where the ceremony would he held. He smiled and nodded as guests started to enter and take their seats. He absently noted everyone except Felicity, who was inevitably getting Thea and the other bridesmaids ready. He hadn't seen any of them this morning, with them all staying in the hotel so they could get ready here.

"Oliver," Roy said stepping closer to shake his hand.

"Roy, glad to see you actually turned up," he commented without thought.

"Of course I did. I might feel a little nervous to be up there with everyone watching but I love Thea, more than anything."

"Good," Oliver said patting him on the back. "That is good to hear."

"Now what are you two discussing?" Felicity's voice carried through the space and Oliver turned to her instantly. Her hair was down, her glasses gone and she was wearing a long pink flowing dress, bright and cheerful as the smile on her face.

"Just discussing me actually turning up," Roy replied.

"Of course you did!" Felicity responded giving Oliver a frown. "But you need to head inside, she shouldn't be too much longer."

"Yeh I suppose you're right," Roy answered before stepping inside.  
She turned to Oliver. "He loves your sister and he wouldn't do that to her."

"Well I was checking," he answered with a shrug and she shook her head.

"Unlike other people, that man cares about Thea's future, he cares about her life and he loves her, as she does him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. "Unlike other people?"

"That's all you took from that?" she asked with a shake of her head. "Where's her father? Where is he?" she asked with a shrug.

"He's probably running late with QC-"

"Well Moira just informed her he wouldn't be attending."

"My mothers here?"

"Yes, it seems at least one of your parents actually cares," she replied with a sigh as she once again played with her chain.

"Where is she?"

"Speaking with Thea in private," she answered a little sharply.

He looked at her noting how she looked a little paler than usual, seemingly rocking on her heels. "Are you okay?" he asked touching her arms.

"I'm just feeling a little woozy. It's been a busy day."

He ran his hands up and down her arms. "Go and sit down," he whispered. "I can take it all from here, you've done enough for us all."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I know this must be weird."

"No at all," he responded with a soft smile. "Now go sit."

"Thank you," she replied with a smile of her own, before stepping inside. He turned to watch her, unable to take his eyes off her till she was seated and even then he couldn't seem to pull away.

"Oliver," Moira's voice caught his attention.

"Mother," he responded. "Oh Walter, what are you doing here?"

"Thea invited me too, so I thought I'd keep your mother company."

"In your father's absence," she quickly added.

"Where is he?" he asked.

"Where he always is, darling," she answered but he didn't miss the sad glint in her eyes.

"So QC is more important than his own daughter."

Moira sighed a little, her shoulders sagging. "Let's not ruin today with talk of your father," she replied. "You look rather handsome, and Thea looks stunning," she whispered.

"Thank you."

"She truly does," Walter added.

"I only wish I had been the one to reach out properly," she mumbled vaguely. "I wish I had been here to help."

"Well you're here now," Walter responded.

"He's right mom," Oliver added quickly. "You should probably take your seats though, Thea should be down soon."

"Of course," Moira replied placing her hand on his face, staring into his eyes.

"You okay?" he whispered as she almost looked like she was searching his face.

"I'm sorry Oliver, I truly am."

"For what?"

"Many things you can not remember," she added with a sad smile. "But all I wish I could take back."

"Well, you just have to try to make up for it right?" he answered with a shrug, having no idea what any of this was about.

"I suppose," she replied. "I love you sweetie."

"I love you too, mom." She nodded before linking her arm in Walters and stepping in. Oliver frowned for a quick second not understand at all what had happened, or what his mother was sorry for but he was angry.

So he grasped his phone in his pocket, hit the buttons quickly before bringing it to his ear. He glanced towards the stairs to make sure Thea wasn't appearing.

"You've reached the office of Robert Queen, we're unable to take your call right now but leave a message after the beep and we'll try to get back to you." BEEP.

"What is wrong with you? You talk about legacy's and saying the company is special, but where are you? Why aren't you at your daughter's wedding? I have to give her away today because you're too busy with your company. It's clear what legacy means to you dad, and it isn't us. God, moms here alone, well no, moms here with Walter, because we aren't, what? Special enough? I don't care what kind of excuse you have, you are missing this day and you'll never be able to get it back." Oliver hung up with a frustrated groan. He pushed the phone back into his pocket just as Thea appeared with a group of ladies he didn't recognise and of course Laurel and Becca.

"Uncle Ollie!" Becca screeched as she ran at him. Her small arms wrapped around one of his legs as she squeezed it as tightly as possible. His eyes glanced to Laurel who was chuckling, before looking down at the little girl. She stared up at him with big round eyes, looking adorable in her little dress and pure innocent expression. "I missed you," she mumbled letting go and stepping back. He didn't even think about his next actions as he got down on one knee and scooped her up into a hug. She giggled wrapping her arms around his neck as he spun them around a few times.

"I missed you too," he found himself saying and Becca looked at him in awe.

"You member me?" she asked curiously.

"How could I ever forget you," he answered as Laurel smiled at him. He placed her back down on the ground, and she straightened her dress clearly having seen the other ladies doing it.

"Thank you," Laurel whispered to him as he kissed her cheek in greeting. "She has missed you."

"It felt normal, natural even," he commented.

"Good, because that's the Ollie we remember," Laurel added before turning to Becca. "So sweetie we better get go get your basket, the music's about to start."

"Kay, mommy," she replied happily taking her hand. Oliver looked up as the bridesmaids took their places in order and then he noticed Thea fully. She was in a beautiful ivory gown, that seemed like it was perfectly made for her in every way.

"You look beautiful," he said happily placing a kiss to her cheek.

"You don't look too bad yourself," Thea replied with a cheeky wink. She held her bouquet in one hand as she hugged him with the other. "Thank you for today, Ollie, for giving me away."

"It's my pleasure, Speedy," he answered with a big grin. "I'm just sorry that-"

"No," she said sternly as she pulled back to look at him. "The people I want are here, the people I love and love me are here, and the most important person gets the honour of giving me away."

"I love you, Thea," he said seriously.

"I love you too," she replied with a brilliant grin. "Now are you ready?"

"Whenever you are." She nodded then as he held his arm out for her. Becca had already sprinkled her flowers down the aisle before sitting with Tommy and Laurel on the front row, as well as Felicity.

The bridesmaids started to slowly make their way down, and then Thea's arm tightened around Oliver's just before they started to make their way down too. Everyone was watching, all heads turned towards them as the music played but Roy remained facing forward until they reached him. Oliver handed Thea to Roy giving him a quick nod before he took his place sitting beside Felicity.

"Ladies and Gentleman, we welcome you all here today to witness the union, of Roy William Harper Junior, and Thea Dearden Queen." Oliver couldn't help but notice the calming effect that Thea had on Roy; just from her touch he seemed to settle.

He zoned out, not listening to the vows but rather glancing down at the woman sat beside him. He stared at her slightly pinked cheeks, glad to see her colour had returned. Her eyes were completely fixed on the scene in front of her. They eyes were bright, and shining with tears she had yet to shed but she was smiling happily. He could see the chain around her neck, and his wedding band displayed upon it. Absently she had her hand to her chest as her fingers stroked at his band. He knew she must be thinking of their wedding, thinking of what it all meant and he couldn't help but wonder about it too.

He could see the light catch on her engagement ring, and wedding band as she continued to touch his. He stared down at her picturing her in the dress he had seen in those photos and videos, wondering what it would have felt to slip those rings onto her finger. He couldn't help but glance down at his hand, the skin slightly discoloured where he'd been wearing the ring for a year, only now it was gone. He tilted his head picturing it, trying to imagine the weight on his finger.

His breathing stuttered in his chest when Felicity's free hand snaked out and took his. He linked their fingers marvelling at how small her hand actually was in his, how much she must have trusted in him over the years and he in her. He slowly moved his eyes upwards to her face, a tear was rolling down her cheek before she turned her head towards him and her whole face lit up. She squeezed his hand, and her eyes were shining brightly as he gazed into them, completely captivated by the sheer emotion written all over face.

"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

The crowd erupted into applause, everyone standing to their feet cheering. Oliver followed suit as Felicity let his hand go and clapped. He finally looked at Thea who looked impossibly happy as they turned to face the people they loved as husband and wife.

* * *

It was a few hours later and the party was in full swing, people had ate and now they were chatting and dancing. Oliver leant against the bar, unable to take his eyes from Felicity who was dancing with Becca, Laurel and Thea.

"Makes you appreciate what you have," Diggle spoke and Oliver turned his head towards him.

"Are you working security here too?"

Diggle chuckled. "My men are, but Lyla and I were invited."

"Ah, that makes sense you do work with my sister," Oliver commented, his eyes drawn back to the group who were giggling.

"You seem to find it hard to keep your eyes off her." Diggle nodded in the group's direction.

"It's my sister's wedding, of course I'm going to be looking at her."

"I didn't mean Thea," he replied with a smirk as Oliver turned to raise an eyebrow at him.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Oh come on man, you've been staring at Felicity the entire time."

"And? We're married," he answered with a shrug.

"Yeh but you don't remember that," he countered.

"So what? She's still my wife, I'm her husband," he ushered out too quickly. "I mean, it's not like I've had much of a choice," he mumbled.

Instantly Diggle frowned. "Seriously you have had a choice since the moment you woke up in hospital, you chose to stay with Felicity in your home, you chose to invite her and you're choosing to spend this evening staring at her and in her presence." Oliver didn't say a word as he glanced back in her direction with a sigh.

"Do you want a drink man?"

"Nah, I'm not drinking anymore," he answered automatically.

"Okay," Diggle responded with a nod. "How about Felicity?"

"She hasn't been drinking either," he mumbled.

"Oh she hasn't?"

"No, she wanted to support me and my choices," he replied as he watched her lift Becca up and spin her.

"Sounds like her," he commented. "How's the therapy going?"

Instantly he turned towards him. "How'd you know about that?"

"I just presumed with the lack of booze and Felicity supporting you that you'd been."

"Well that's none of your business," he snapped.

"Wow man," Dig threw his hands up in defence, "it's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed," he grumbled forcing his hands into his pockets. He watched as Diggle stared at him, glancing up and down as if able to read him from his body language alone. "I need some air," he spoke as he stepped away not allowing for a response.

He didn't stop walking till he reached the foyer and dropped into an empty seat by the window, where it was more peaceful. He sighed heavily as he pulled his phone out his pocket for a distraction. He had a missed call from his father and a voicemail message.

"Oh great," he mumbled to himself.

"Message 1, received today at 7.33pm."

"I don't know how you dare Oliver!" Roberts voice was angry and loud. "There have been plenty of important things you've missed over the years with your drinking, and drug taking and of course your latest woman. But I refuse to have you judge me! I'm happy your mother is there with Walter as I refuse to stand by and watch Thea marry someone far below herself! A criminal! A man who was a petty thief! A man who served jail time and is not to be trusted, is the worst kind of man your sister could be marrying! So no I won't be there to celebrate their reunion." Oliver ended the call in a stunned silence. His sister was marrying a criminal, a dishonest man who was not and would never be good enough for her. His mind was spinning as he tried to come to terms with what he'd just heard.

He stood up without thought as he marched back into the party. He walked straight to the bar. "Two double whiskeys, neat," he told the bartender who nodded in response. He stood there patiently as the man poured out the two drinks and before he even put the bottle down he drank them both in two giant gulps. "Two more please." Once again the bartender nodded in response.

* * *

Felicity span Becca around unable to stop smiling at her. Oliver had been getting closer and closer, he'd asked more questions and seemed genuinely interested in their past over the last several weeks. But today, the way he looked at her, it made her genuinely feel like it was all going to be okay, that maybe they could work out their future together and it wouldn't be as scary as she had been imaging lately. She smiled to herself as a figure loomed near her.

"Felicity?"

She glanced up to see Diggle smiling at her with a frown. "Hey Dig, everything okay?" she asked.

"Can I have a word about Oliver?"

"Of course."

Laurel looked in their direction before turning to her daughter. "Becca honey, how about we go find Daddy?"

"Sure mommy," she responded happily.

"What's going on with Ollie?" Thea asked having heard the conversation topic.

"Nothing, I just wanted to speak to Felicity."

"Whatever your concern is you can tell me too," Thea added quickly as they stepped to the side of the dance floor.

"Well I couldn't help but notice he isn't drinking."

"No, he... he's been getting help, and not drinking is a part of that," Felicity replied cheerfully.

"Have you been with him?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Did you arrange any of the sessions? Did you go to any with him or drop him off anywhere?"

Felicity frowned. "No I haven't, he said he wanted to sort it all. That it was his responsibility."

"Are you trying to insinuate he hasn't been going?" Thea asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"It's just when I mentioned it, he got really uptight about it."

"Well some people aren't comfortable talking about those things," Thea added quickly.

"But the fact you haven't seen him go yourself, that he gets so defensive and even walks away from a conversation, doesn't that strike you as odd."

Felicity frowned a little, remembering his behaviour when she had tried to bring it up too and then she saw him stood at the bar. "He... he's been lying," she mumbled.

"How can you know that?" Thea asked.

"He's at the bar drinking now," she answered, and instantly Thea reacted. She was marching over there and Felicity hurried behind her, with Diggle close behind.

"You're not to serve this man another alcoholic beverage, you got that?" Thea directed to the bartender.

"Of course, ma'am."

"What? You don't get to make that decision!" Oliver snapped angrily.

"Well considering you can't help yourself, I think we all have to make that decision for you!"

"Says the woman who's marrying well below what she should be," he snarled back. Felicity gasped, completely shocked by his comment.

"What did you just say to me?" Thea snapped.

"Well considering dad called to tell me the real reason he isn't here is because your, oh so beloved, husband is a petty thief, I don't think you're good at making decisions either," he retorted with a smug grin. The emotions on Thea's face were like a kaleidoscope. She huffed in anger, frustration, pure unhappiness, to sadness before finally settling on disappointment.

"Get out," she uttered.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Just get out of here. I already have a father whose disappointed me enough with his deceit and lies over the years, as well as his hypocritical judgement, I don't need you to do it either. So just leave before you embarrass yourself further," she said with a wave of her hand.

"You can't get rid of me-" Felicity stepped forward instantly placing her hand on his chest.

"We're going outside for some fresh air, now." Leaving no room for him to argue. She helped him to his feet as he made for the exit.

"Thank you," Thea mumbled.

"Forget about him, go dance with your husband and enjoy your evening." She nodded before she turned back to the party plastering a smile on her face.

"Are you going to be okay?" Diggle asked.

"Give us a little while, then come check on us. I don't think anything will happen but I might need help carrying him to bed," she answered.

"Where you going?"

"Just out front, away from all the party guests."

"Okay, I'll give you 15 minutes." Felicity nodded before she followed Oliver out into the foyer. She grasped his arm leading out onto the small front yard of the hotel.

There was no one around as he stood there his arms folded over his chest. "So?" he asked tilting his head clearly expecting a fight.

Felicity sighed before speaking calmly, "Did you mean what you just said?"

"Which part?" he asked anger still in his tone. "That she has no right to tell me what to do? Or that her husband's a criminal?"

"No, the fact she's marrying below what she should?" She stood a little straighter waiting for his response.

"Yes! Where's he even from? What sort of a life can he give her?" he spat out waving his arm around.

"He's from the Glades, he made bad decisions and got into some bad situations but he turned his life around-"

"People don't change," he replied with a dry laugh.

"You did," she answered. "And he has. And to answer your question, he gives her unconditional love, he supports her, and pushes her just as she does him. They're partners and equals, who accept each other's flaws."

He laughed right in her face. "You mean she supports him!"

"And so what if she does?" she snapped back unable to hide the anger any longer.

"This is the 21st century Oliver. They love each other, they care about each other, they both work and earn money! What is so wrong with that?"

"HE'S FROM THE GLADES AND A CRIMINAL!" he bellowed stepping closer to her.

She craned her neck to look into his eyes, the detest and belief she saw frightened her immensely. She stood there frozen as he made no movement, his chest rise and falling rapidly. "I can't do this," she whispered taking several steps back.

"What?" he asked genuinely confused.

"I can't do this anymore, Oliver," she replied.

"Well you were the one who wanted to come out here," he snapped.

"I didn't mean that, I meant us." His eyes widened as the words slowly sank in. "I'm from Vegas, my mother was a cocktail waitress who worked in numerous casinos trying to earn enough money for us to live. I went to MIT on a full scholarship, and used to be a hacktivist in college, so a criminal." Oliver stood there not speaking as she looked at him waiting for any sign of him interrupting before she continued. "So if Roy isn't good enough for Thea, then I'm not good enough for you."

"But…" he mumbled clearly searching for words.

"I've been trying desperately to reassure myself that we could possibly get some semblance of normality in our lives. That you might remember," her voice cracked as she carried on. "That we could have a future but I guess that was a dream."

"No," he whispered trying to step closer.

"Look, it's been 3 months, and you're clearly miserable-"

"I'm not!" he interrupted in protest.

"You lied to me about getting help-"

"I can explain," he interrupted once more.

"You don't need to," she said sadly trying to hold back the tears. "I wasn't motivation enough, and it's very clear I'm not helping you, so I need to take a step back to help your recovery because I'm just a stranger to you. So you should move back into Queen Mansion, do what makes you happy rather than living in a life you have no memory of." She took a shuddering breath. "I should have done this sooner, I guess… I was being selfish and for that I'm truly sorry."

"You weren't selfish, you never could be."

She swallowed hard trying to dislodge the lump now in her throat, because he truly had no idea how selfish she was actually being. "You have no idea," she mumbled wiping away the tears that she couldn't stop from escaping. "Maybe some time apart is what we both need?"

"But not forever."

She took a deep breath trying to control herself before she found the right words. "We'll see," she answered trying not to give him any false hope or herself any. "I'll always be a part of your life if you want me to be."

He nodded his head, his shoulders slumped and he looked truly devastated. "Okay."

She walked up to him with purpose and stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss to his cheek, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her before she could pull back. "I'll always love you," she whispered into his ear.

"I'm not trying to hurt you or anyone," he whispered in response, "but I'm just so tired of disappointing everyone."

"I know," she mumbled back, hugging him a little tighter.

"I'm so sorry," he breathed into her ear his lip quaking.

She pulled back, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Diggle was stood in the entrance watching. "How do you look at the guy you love and tell yourself to walk away," she uttered quietly, staring at his face trying to remember the good times. She could see the tears in his eyes before she turned away and headed towards where the cars were parked.

"Felicity," he called after her. Slowly she turned to face him, tears rolling down her cheeks as she didn't try to stop them anymore. "I hope one day I can love the way you love me."

"You figured it out once, you'll do it again," she answered with a brilliant smile, genuinely wishing him happiness. He nodded in response as she turned and walked away, she didn't look back as she heard Diggle approaching him.


	9. Sharing the Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: I need say a massive thank you to all the amazing heartfelt support I got from people for this fic. THANK YOU! Truly your kind words have been like balm these past few days, so thank you truly. I can not put into words what it means to me, how it warms my soul. So instead, have chapter! But full warning again, this is angsty, and upsetting. This chapter is especially tough, so I truly do apologise and understand if people do not wish to read, but hopefully this gives some answers.

Felicity stared at their bed. Her bed. She had barely slept last night, tossing and turning in her sheets. But she knew deep down she had made the right decision; it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. Yet still it felt like someone had ripped her heart out from her chest.

She sighed heavily as her head pounded and she felt nauseous. She'd been trying to figure out her next move. Did she stay and watch everything unfold? Did she go away for a break and make a decision at a later date? Or did she just leave, pack up and get away now before it got too hard?

She sat down on the bed holding her head in her hands. With a deep breath to ground herself, she stood up with a new found purpose and grabbed her suitcase from the wardrobe. She opened it up on the bed, and started to pack her favourite clothes and possessions. She grabbed a variety of other luggage she had lying around, incase the suitcase wasn't enough.

She was so wrapped up in packing she never heard someone knock at the door, never heard them come upstairs and definitely didn't hear them open the door.

"Felicity?"

She screamed dropping the clothes in her arms in the process. "Thea! You scared me!"

"Sorry," she answered stepping in and helping her pick up the pile from the floor.

"Wait, what are you doing here? And how did you get in?" Felicity asked as they stood and dumped the stuff on the bed.

"I have a key, remember," she answered with a small frown.

"Yes, but shouldn't you be on honeymoon right now?"

"No, we don't leave till tonight," she responded. "I wanted to check on you, and see if you were okay."

"I'm fine," she replied too quickly, folding a few items and placing them in the suitcase.

"Felicity," she repeated, coming to stand beside her and taking her hands in her own. "It's okay to say you aren't okay."

"I..." She tried to find the words but she couldn't. She felt the tears stinging at the back of her eyes once more before she pulled away from Thea and walked over to the bedside cabinet. "I'm fine," she finally mumbled.

"Where are you heading?" Thea asked thankfully changing the conversation.

"Out of town."

"Where?"

"I haven't decided yet," she replied with a shrug.

"Don't you think you should know where you're going?"

"Doesn't matter."

"You just want to get as far away from Ollie as possible?" she whispered but still stared at her.

"It isn't like that," she answered.

"Then what's it like?"

"I broke up with him."

"And now you're running away?"

"Thea it isn't that simple."

"So you had an argument-"

"No, don't." Felicity stood straighter then holding her hand up. "You don't have any idea Thea. I love that man and some days he can barely look at me. He promised to get help and he lied about it. He... he doesn't remember me, and we've all been kidding ourselves into thinking he will, but it's been 3 months with no improvement. It is better for everyone if I just go away for a bit, he hasn't got the responsibility of our marriage looming over him and he can do whatever he wants."

"Bullshit," Thea barked back. "That is utter bullshit."

"How is it bullshit? You've seen him! You witnessed his behaviour last night."

"Yes and I spoke to him this morning, he apologised and he seems genuinely cut up about you breaking up with him."

Felicity closed her eyes, her head pounding as she tried to calm herself. "He is better off without me."

"I don't agree. I think the worst thing for him is to go back to the mansion, to be working at QC."

"They're all his choices Thea," she responded.

"Not when you forced him out of his home."

"HE DOESN'T REMEMBER THIS! This is not a home to him! He doesn't remember cutting his hand open when we fitted the banisters, he doesn't remember the hours we spent laughing and joking and crying in here. He remembers nothing and he doesn't want to," she said with a resigned sigh. "He doesn't remember because he doesn't want to, he hasn't got help because he doesn't want to, he doesn't love me again because he doesn't want to."

"Felicity, please just-"

"No, I'm tired Thea." She blinked a few times trying focus but her legs began to feel wobbly and head began to spin.

"Felicity!" She heard Thea's voice like a distant cry before she felt something soft and fluffy against her face. Her eyes felt heavy as she tried to open them, and then Thea was looming over her and suddenly it all came into focus. She was lay flat out on the floor, Thea kneeling beside her.

"Why am I on the floor?"

"You collapsed. I'll call an ambulance."

"No, no I'm fine," she replied sitting up.

"Felicity you shouldn't move."

"I'm fine," she answered standing up slowly, her legs still feeling a little wobbly.

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Honestly there is no need-"

"I don't care if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming we're going."

"I haven't ate-"

"I don't care, you either come willingly or not," she said holding her arm out for her to take.

"Fine," she grumbled taking her arm as she lead her slowly out the house.

* * *

She lay on the bed watching Thea out the corner of her eye. She had remained silent as the receptionist sent them to this ward, when the nurses did their checks and told her in which room to wait for her doctor.

"Felicity why are we-" Thea stopped herself as the door opened and a middle aged lady walked in.

"Miss Smoak, sorry, old habits," she said softly as she walked in. "Mrs Queen. What can I do for you today?"

"Well Doctor Granger, my sister-in-law was worried about me, and as I have said call me Felicity," she answered.

"Nice to meet you," Thea added quickly. "Thea Queen, I mean Harper, Thea Harper. I got married yesterday."

"Well congratulations," Dr. Granger replied. "Why are you concerned about Felicity?"

"She's been having dizzy spells, and collapsed this morning face first into the rug."

"Felicity, have you been eating?" she asked turning to look at her.

"I only missed breakfast by a few hours," she mumbled in response.

"What did I tell you not 4 weeks ago? Your body needs all the nourishment it can get." Felicity nodded sadly before she continued. "Look, I know you're nervous after what happened last time and that's perfectly normal." Felicity swallowed thickly trying not to remember, as she avoided Thea's gaze. "But you're literally right on the end of your first trimester and that is always a positive thing." She smiled warmly.

"Thank you," Felicity replied as the doctor sat beside her.

"So how's the morning sickness and cravings?" she asked.

"Truthfully I've barely had any morning sickness," she answered quietly still avoiding Thea.

"See, it's already progressing differently to last time. I'll run a few tests just to make sure you're all okay, but I think all you need to is to relax, and take things easy. I am not saying to do nothing, I'm just saying avoid stressful situations, eat and drink well, and take care of yourself. Baby needs it's mommy to help it grow."

"I know," Felicity mumbled glancing down at her hands.

"How about we have a listen?" Dr. Granger said with a smile. She stood up grabbing a small device from the cabinet in the room, as well as bottle of some sort of liquid and a paper towel. "Okay, so pull your top up and your jeans down a little," Felicity did as she was told, "and this might be a little cold." She squirted the a small amount of the bottles contents onto her abdomen. She placed one end of the device onto the jelly and moved it around a little. Felicity fidgeted slightly as they listened to the weird noise being emitted by the tiny device.

"What are we listening to?" Thea asked.

"Just give me… there." The static suddenly changed to a strange fluttering pulsing noise. "Baby's heartbeat, strong and healthy." Felicity felt a lump in her throat, and tears sting the back of her eyes. She stole a quick glance at Thea to find her eyes sparkling with unshed tears too. Dr. Granger handed her the paper towel as she put the device and bottle away. Felicity wiped her belly in silence before redressing.  
"Well they did all the usual checks when you came in and they're all normal, we'll just check your blood and make sure you're not dehydrated or anaemic, so sit tight and I'll be back soon," Dr. Granger said with a smile heading for the door.

"Thank you," Thea called as she stepped out of the room.

Felicity watched as she pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and sat down. She could feel the silence making the atmosphere more awkward. "So…" Felicity spoke glancing in Thea's direction.

"I have so many questions, and I don't even know where to start," Thea answered staring back at her.

"I'm pregnant," she answered with a shrug.

"And I'm guessing it's Oliver's," Felicity couldn't help the shocked expression at the remark, "sorry, I mean of course it's Oliver's, first trimester is 12 weeks so that takes us to…"

"Our anniversary, Oliver's accident," Felicity finished for her with a sad smile.

"How long have you know?" she asked.

"Not long, a few weeks, just before we went for the dress fitting."

"And you just broke up with him?" Thea asked mumbling with a frown.

"He doesn't want this," Felicity whispered placing her hands over her stomach.

"But you haven't given him the opportunity to choose."

"Listen Thea, this whole situation is a mess, but one thing I do know is that Oliver can barely handle the fact we're married right now, let alone a baby." She took a deep breath closing her eyes to get a handle on her emotions. "I can't do this without my husband," she whispered. "And right now, that man isn't my husband," she sobbed the last words as she turned her head away from Thea, feeling too ashamed.

"Hey, no one can blame you," she responded taking her hand. "I get it, Oliver isn't the same man anymore, and you've lived with him these past few months. You more than anyone can feel and see the differences, but surely having a baby isn't a bad thing? He might even grow up?"

"5 years ago Laurel asked him to move in and that commitment alone caused him to go in a downward spiral, do you really think telling him I'm pregnant is going to straighten him up?"

"I… I don't know," Thea answered honestly. "But he has a right to know."

Felicity shook her head trying to stop the tears once more. "I can't force him to stay in a loveless marriage for a child."

"But it isn't loveless."

"But it would be, he doesn't look at me like he used to, he barely touches me and I know he won't be able to handle this right now, Thea. And if I told him, I'd need him to be all in."

"He would, I'm sure he would," she answered with an edge of uncertainty in her tone.

"You don't know that."

"And you don't know that he wouldn't be able to handle it, that he wouldn't want to stay here and be a family."

"Thea, please," she whimpered. "I can't do this right now." She could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks as she rolled onto her side, no longer able to face her.

"Okay, but this conversation isn't over," Thea mumbled as Felicity's shoulders shook from the force of her sobs. She felt completely overwhelmed, and emotional. "I'll go get us something to eat and drink," Thea said placing a hand on her shoulder in comfort.

"Okay," she muttered, wiping away at her tears. She felt the warmth of her hand leave her back, heard her shoes on the floor as she walked away and the soft click of the door closing as she left her alone. She sobbed, allowing the pain and confusion to consume her, to gain some sort of release.

* * *

Thea easily carried the tray with an array of foods and drinks, for Felicity to pick from, resting upon it. The staff had all been amazingly helpful in picking food, and directing her. She rounded the corner to Felicity's room when she saw Dr. Granger stepping out.

"Doctor Granger?" Thea called out rushing a little towards her. She turned with a smile as Thea caught up with her placing the tray down on the nearest surface.

"Mrs Harper, how can I help you?"

"Is Felicity okay?" she rushed out. "Oh wait, you can't tell me."

She smiled hiding her laugh well. "She is absolutely fine, a little thirsty and hungry so that will be much appreciated," she nodded towards the tray, "I just need to sign a few papers whilst you eat, and she will be good to go."

"So her and the baby are okay?"

"Yes, both are in great health. I know it's concerning after losing a baby-"

"When did she lose a baby?" Thea asked and the doctor looked genuinely surprised for a brief second.

"It was about 3 and a half years ago, but it was very different then," she replied.

"She never said anything," Thea whispered in response as she felt a wave of pain rush over her.

"She had your brother, he was here for all of that."

Thea's eyes widened unable to hide her shock. "He… he was the father."

"Yes," she replied. "Well that's what they said, it wasn't a planned pregnancy but that doesn't take away the pain of loss."

"What happened?"

"The body works in strange ways, Mrs Harper. Sadly it is one of those phenomena we will never fully understand. It could have been a number of different variables, or none. The body is complex and I know it is not the answer most people want," she replied with a genuine sad smile.

"Was my brother there too?"

"Yes, this last month is the first time I've ever not seen him here with his wife," she answered.

"Did Felicity tell you about him?"

"She mentioned that she would be doing this alone, which I must say is a genuine shame after how attentive of a husband he had been."

"He had an accident, he's lost his memory," Thea replied quickly.

"Oh, I am so sorry," Dr. Granger said with such empathy.

"He can't remember any of the last 5 years."

"So he doesn't remember Felicity? Or the miscarriage?"

"No and she hasn't told him she's pregnant."

"Ah. Well that is her choice."

"But what do I do?" Thea asked seriously.

"I can't answer that Mrs Harper, but maybe you should be talking to your sister-in-law. She sounds like she needs a friend, and probably quite a bit of support if Mr Queen can't remember her or anything they've been through. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be."

Thea nodded feeling her throat constricting a little from the emotions she tried to keep in check. "Thank you, for all of it," Thea said stretching her hand out and she took it, shaking it with a gentle smile.

"It's what I am paid for." Thea smiled in turn before they both let go and the doctor headed off in another direction. Thea lifted the tray heading towards Felicity's room.

She knocked before stepping in backwards pushing the door closed behind her. "I brought you a selection of things," she said as she placed the tray on the bed beside her.

"Thank you," Felicity mumbled quietly, not looking at her. It was obvious she'd been crying, her eyes were red and puffy as she picked at one of the sandwiches.

They ate in silence, and Thea noted how Felicity picked at her food, occasionally glancing at her as if unsure what to do. Thea hated it, hated seeing Felicity look so unsure and the fact she was nervous because of her. She watched her as she drank, before finally finding the courage to speak.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Thea asked.

"It was a shock, I only found out a few weeks ago, and truthfully I was-"

"No, I don't mean now, I meant about your miscarriage."

Instantly her head turned towards her, her eyes searching her face before she nodded. "Doctor Granger told you, I said she could," she commented off hand.

"Yeh, but why didn't you tell us?"

"Because Oliver and I dealt with it," she answered quietly with a shrug.

Thea stared at her, the vulnerability shocked her. "Felicity… please I want to help you, I'm not here to judge."

"It's hard because I'm the only one who remembers now," she whispered staring at her hands, spinning the wedding band on her finger.

"Then share it with me, I want to help."

"After everything with you and your parents Oliver was upset. After he'd helped you that night he came home and he was devastated."

"Understandable," Thea said sharply with a nod, ignoring her own pain of the past.

"Well we stayed up talking, just like we usually did but this time it was different. One thing lead to another and we slept together. There was nothing to stop us, and it just happened."

"So that's when you became a couple?" she asked in genuine surprise.

"No, we actually agreed it was a mistake."

"Seriously?" Thea answered with a knowing smile and shake of her head.

"We were in denial back then," Felicity answered. "But a few weeks later, I wasn't well. Oliver insisted I see a doctor and that was when I found out I was pregnant. I told him I didn't need him to be with me, I didn't need him to commit or anything like that but," she took a deep breath, her eyes fluttering as she looked up, "he told me he was all in. That he couldn't be happier, that he wanted us to try to be a proper couple and give it all a real go."

"That's why you started house hunting?"

"Yes."

"But that was when you were having trouble at work too."

She nodded in agreement. "Yes, your dad was making it harder and harder to do my job, giving me petty things to sort, and insisting it be me who did everything IT related. But I also started with really bad morning sickness. I was exhausted, and weak all the time."

"Oliver stepped up big time?" she whispered.

"Yes, he took the responsibility on amazingly. He was truly wonderful, Thea," she answered her eyes shining brightly as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Sounds like him," she answered.

"Oliver found us a home, but I kept getting worse and worse, so he insisted I return to the hospital. I did and was advised by Doctor Granger to take it easy, that I was wearing myself out." She swallowed thickly, taking a second to compose herself.

"But your father had other ideas. He and your mother gave me an ultimatum: get Oliver back on side and join the company or never get promoted, and continue working as I was."

"They did what?" Thea snapped unable to hide her anger but Felicity continued as if she hadn't spoken.

"So I just continued. I pushed myself harder, and the morning sickness got worse and then it all just ended." She stared at the wall in front of her seeming almost robotic as she spoke. "I collapsed, then I was bleeding, and was rushed into here. Oliver was with me, there was no heartbeat, and nothing anyone could do."

"I'm so sorry," Thea whispered reaching out grasping her hand.

Felicity's eyes fluttered as she tried to remain in control. "I wasn't myself, I kept everyone at a distance including Oliver. Until one day I told him he didn't need to do this anymore, he didn't need to pretend to care because there was no baby, there was no reason to move into the new house, no need to do it up, no need carry on." Thea bit her lip keeping her words in even though she wanted to shout she was wrong. "But he told me I was wrong, that he loved me. He had loved me pretty much from the start but there was always something stopping us and there was no chance he was walking away from me ever again," she choked on the last word as she ducked her head a little.

"That's why you two threw yourselves into renovating the house?"

"It was a good way to deal with the pain, with the numbness, but it also lead us to talk. We opened up, we shared and I told him about his parents. He was so angry Thea, I'd never seen him that angry and he disappeared for a few hours after. When he came back, he told me he wanted nothing more to do with your parents, that, that was the final straw and that I never needed to work there again, that I could leave, go somewhere else or do my own business."

"I always knew there was more."

"He just needed someone to blame and I let him, because we were both angry and grieving."

"Is that why you haven't told him about our parents, about that and what happened? Well everything really?"

"Yes, I don't want him to hold on to all that hate. I blamed myself for losing our baby. That's why Oliver said about us doing it all the right way, when I was ready, and there was no pressure for us to have another. He was the one that made me see I wasn't to blame. So to take some of his pain away now, well I don't think that is a bad thing," she answered, the tears steadily rolling down her cheeks as she tried to wipe them away.

Thea couldn't deny that she had welled up too. "Wait, is that the real reason why he proposed the first time too?"

"Yes, he proposed during the pregnancy and I said no, but we didn't want people to know, well I didn't want people to know about the baby and all that, so we lied about it being after an argument."

"I understand," she replied with a comforting smile.

"He helped me realise I could do my business, he helped me forgive myself, and he loved me with all his heart, and he was never afraid to show it," she sighed before continuing. "That's why I bought the restaurant and encouraged it, because he had done the same for me."

"God, you two are truly inspirational," Thea said in awe with a shake of her head.

"I think you'll find you are. Look at everything you've been through, you could have easily turned this all into something negative but look at you," Felicity responded pointing at her and Thea couldn't help but feel overwhelmed.

"Same could be said for yourself," she answered looking at her and Felicity choked back a soft sob.

"I'm so sorry Thea. I was going to tell him after your wedding but that night, I realised that he doesn't love me. He doesn't remember a single thing and the thought of making all of it worse for him now, hurts," she whispered it trying desperately to get her voice under control.

"Listen, I am not saying you shouldn't tell Oliver-"

"I know he has a right to know," Felicity answered still completely upset.

"Yes he does, and one day he deserves the truth." Felicity's eyes met hers shining with complete awe and shock. "But I won't we the one to tell him, not any time soon. Just promise me when the time is right, you'll tell him."

"I promise I will." She moved forward hugging her tightly, "I will," she repeated with her arms wrapped around her.

Thea hugged her tightly. "I love you Felicity, and of course Oliver, but the baby is more important right now," she whispered.

"Thank you," she answered in return. "I just... I'm so scared," she admitted.

"I know," Thea replied pulling back to stare into her eyes. "I know but you will always have me, Roy, Tommy, Laurel, Dig, Lyla. We're all family regardless of what happens and what choices you guys make, we'll always be here to help."

Felicity wiped at her eyes as Thea once more took her hand. "Damn hormones," Felicity tried to joke.

Thea smiled. "I think you and Oliver just need some time. You need to relax, take a break and he needs to figure things out. Don't worry, I'll help look after him."

"I don't know if he'll ever remember," she mumbled. "And I don't want to force him into our marriage."

"Then we'll see what happens, but ultimately all the choices are between you two."

"I know," she whispered.

"Well take some time," Thea encouraged squeezing her hand. "Take all the time you need, and look after yourself." She moved her hand gently placing it over Felicity's stomach. "And this little one."

"I will," Felicity answered.

Thea pulled away. "Well then, whenever you're ready we'll get you home, and I'll help you pack."

"Thank you, so much Thea."

"We're family, you never have to thank me."


	10. The Past Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: As always thank you all so much for all the support, it means more than I can ever say so I shall post this chapter early for you guys. This is a beast of a chapter at over 7,000 words! But hopefully it has some of the answers you’re all looking for. As always this story is painful but I hope you do enjoy…

_The club was electric, the buzz of bass pulsed through Oliver's veins as he made his way across the dance floor. The place was bursting with swaying bodies, people constantly on the move, and maybe that's why he was drawn to her. She was motionless, sat on a stool. Her long black hair flowing down her back, only a splash of dark purple cutting through it. He noted her matching attire, and the way her foot tapped to the beat, even if she wasn't actively moving. He ignored the advances of the women around him as he stepped closer towards her. He had no idea why he was walking towards her, why he was so intrigued but he had to speak to her. He placed his hand on her shoulder, leaning slightly over her as he spoke to the bar man.  
"Your best champagne, and whatever the lady wants." He nodded towards the mystery woman. _

Oliver awoke with a groan pulling the duvet over his head. He'd been dreaming about this mystery woman more and more frequently since he moved into the mansion 4 weeks ago, always the same club and always the same woman from the beginning. He didn't know her, never saw her face other than purple lips. But he always felt a small amount of relief in seeing her, before the confusion once more took over.

He could taste the alcohol on his breath from yet another night out. He knew he was using the excuse of QC as a front to party nearly every day but truthfully he just didn't care anymore. His parents would give him their disapproving looks and occasional sniggers but they never seemed overly concerned. Thea had made it clear that she would support him if he cleaned his act up, but why would he bother with that? He had all he ever wanted, he lived in the mansion, had his trust fund, worked in QC, single and free to do as he pleased with whoever he pleased. But really was that what he wanted?

He grumbled pulling himself out of bed glancing at his clock. It was the middle of the afternoon on a Friday, and he'd basically skipped work. He shrugged with a groan as he pulled on some casual clothes. He needed coffee. He stepped out of his room greeted with the usual silence, no one tended to be around the house much these days. He walked down the corridor, and staircase heading straight towards the kitchen. He didn't stop until he was pouring a mug of freshly brewed coffee.

"So I see you're finally awake," Moira's clipped voice made him jump.

"Mother," he replied sweetly turning to look at her.

Her arms were folded over her chest as she tilted her head at him. "You know when I said you could move back in, I didn't expect you to revert back to your old self too."

"Not you too," he grumbled rolling his eyes.

"Look at yourself Oliver! It's the middle of the day, you're meant to be at work, instead you're here, smelling of stale beer and looking plain miserable! We barely even see you!"

"You're one to talk," he retorted.

"What's that suppose to me?" she asked raising her eyebrow in challenge.

"Well I've been living here for 4 weeks, and I've never actually seen dad here, it's like he lives at the office! In fact I've seen Walter here more times than I have my dad!" he replied with a shrug. "And you're not always here, you have your clubs and duties to worry about."

"That isn't fair! Your father has a lot to deal with and Walter is a dear family friend," she answered with a sharp tone. "They're all excuses for your behaviour and they aren't acceptable."

"Well what are you going to do? Throw me out? Cut off my trust fund? How did that work out for you last time?" he replied sarcastically, crossing his own arms over his chest.

He watched as her anger slowly slipped away, her arms dropped to her sides as her shoulders slumped slightly. "You know, all I ever wanted was for you to live a wonderful life. That's all I ever wanted for both of my children," she admitted giving him a sad smile.

"I'm living a great life, I can do whatever I want-"

"Regardless of the consequences," she mumbled with a small shake of her head.

"I have nothing and no one to be responsible for," he answered with a shrug.

"Your father wants you to attend a gala tonight representing the company, because we can't attend," she added changing the subject.

"Sure," he replied with a shrug.

"Well the car will be ready at 7," she added.

"Is that it?" he asked. "No lecture about not drinking too much? Or showing up the company?"

Moira sighed giving him a clearly sad look. "Once upon a time I would have," she admitted. "But right now all I'm concerned about is you, not a company."

"I'm fine," he answered nonchalantly sipping his coffee.

"You know I wish I could believe that. I couldn't help you with your problem last time, I wasn't exactly the mother you needed back then but things were different." She gave him a soft smile. "And now I'm here to help, in whatever way you need, just say the word."

"I don't need any help," he answered sharply. "I'm perfectly content with this life right here."

"Well if that ever changes all you have to do is ask," she said before walking away and leaving him completely dumb struck in the kitchen.

* * *

Oliver leant grumpily against a table in the back glaring as Ray Palmer stood to give his speech. He wasn't even listening to whatever drivel he was talking about, all he cared about was the lack of alcohol. He'd tried with all his might to get an alcoholic beverage but every member of staff had been scared off of serving him. Because of course Thea was the one who organised this gala. He groaned to himself at how long this evening had felt, how boring it had been to attend a company event just to be a face for the company with no knowledge.

"You look a little annoyed," a feminine voice caught him off guard.

He turned to look at the woman, she looked familiar as he tried to remember her. "Well my alcohol supply has been cut off, and this is the most bored I have ever been."

"I think I can fix that," she practically purred, and pulled a bottle of champagne with two glasses from behind her back placing it on the table.

"You do realise who I am, right?" he asked.

"Oliver Queen," she replied pouring out the glasses.

"Yes and you realise my sister cut me off-"

"Oh I'm well aware. But she doesn't bother me," she answered with a smirk. "Neither does your reputation, or your partying."

She handed him a flute. "Who exactly are you?" he asked knocking it back in one gulp.

"Isabel Rochev," she replied with a seductive smirk.

He stared at her, the name sounding really familiar. "Have we met before?"

"Oh yes," she answered with a wink.

"I'm guessing in a pleasure capacity."

"Plenty of pleasure, for the both of us," she replied pouring him another glass. "With a hint of business."

"What sort of business?" He asked.

"You know Richard Gere in Pretty Woman?"

"Yeh."

"That's what I do, I take companies and rip them into pieces, selling the parts off for profit." She shrugged sipping her drink.

"Well what sort of business did we have?"

"I merely enquired about the state of QC a few years back," she answered with a smirk.

"So are you looking for a prostitute like Richard Gere?" he asked sipping at his drink this time.

"Who needs a prostitute when I can get it for free," she answered casually with a shrug.

"Oh so you have men queuing at the door?" he asked finishing his drink off.

"Why do I need a queue when a man with your prowess is right here." She placed her hand on his chest. Her fingers playing with button on his slightly opened shirt.

He stared down at her, her hand feeling completely out of place there. "I mean we are both mutually beneficial in this." Oliver could feel his heart hammering in his chest, but for all the wrong reasons. He could feel a sense of dread over take him as she seductively winked at him.

"Get your hands off him," Thea practically growled.

"Miss Queen," Isabel turned her head to glance at her. "Or rather Mrs Harper," she spat out in a derogatory manner. "This is a free country and I'm allowed to do as I please."

"Not here," she snapped.

"I got the invite from Mr Palmer," she retorted finally removing her hand from Oliver's chest.

"No you didn't, I sorted that guest list personally and you were not on there. So Miss Rochev I must ask you to leave."

"You're just a spiteful little bitch," she replied in anger.

Oliver gaped at the pair as Thea merely shrugged. "At least I haven't wasted my whole life getting revenge for something I put myself into," she answered calmly.

"I put myself into! Your father-"

"Oh please, you are both as bad as each other," she replied as Diggle stepped into view with a pair of his security men. "What exactly were you hoping to gain this time?"

Isabel's spine straightened as the two men made to escort her out. She had a scowl on her face that turned into a smirk before she replied sharply. "Well some traits a girl dreams of run in the family, and let's say stamina is an amazing thing."

Oliver frowned deeply as Thea grimaced, her whole body seemed to recoil as they escorted her out. "What did she mean?" Oliver asked staring at her and glancing at Diggle. Thea quickly looked up and around to find a good majority of the party staring at them.

"You two should talk, I'll talk to Palmer and deal with this," Diggle offered.

"What's going on?" Oliver asked and Thea sighed heavily.

"Let's take this on to the balcony," she said pointing to the doors behind them.

"I'll let you have some privacy, keep people out."

"Thank you," Thea said softly touching his arm before she lead Oliver outside. She headed straight out, looking out onto the city below as Diggle shut the doors and drapes behind them.

"Can you please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Why were you drinking with her?" Thea countered crossing her arms over her chest turning to face him.

"Because I was bored, and you cut my supply off."

"So you were that desperate for a drink you'd do anything?"

"That isn't fair!"

"And cheating on your wife is?"

He felt his heart break at the mention of Felicity. "NO!" he snapped. "She walked out on me, she gave up on us. So I'm free to do whatever I want, with whoever I want!"

"I think all the partying has made that really clear," she replied with such disappointment he had to look away.

"And so what?" he grunted finally turning back around. "I have no responsibilities and I like it that way."

He watched as her eyes fluttered and her shoulders deflated before she mumbled, "She was right."

"Huh?"

"God you really have no idea how much she loves you," she answered with a shake of her head.

"Yes she loved me that much she ran off!"

"She set you free," she whispered. "She let you do whatever you needed to do whilst she lost out."

"What the hell are you talking about Thea? What does any of this have to do with tonight?"

"Isabel isn't a good person Ollie, and mom and dad have been lying to you."

"About what?" He snarled in frustration.

"It all started about 4 years ago…"

* * *

_"So you decided to bring your girlfriend to dinner?" Thea asked him with a quirk of her eyebrow.  
_

_"She isn't my girlfriend, Speedy."  
_

_"Then why are you letting mum and dad meet her?" she asked with genuine curiosity.  
_

_"Because of who she is."  
_

_"Huh?"  
_

_"Lets just say our relationship is more adult than that."  
_

_"I might be 18 Ollie but you can say the words fuck buddies."  
_

_"Thea!" he exclaimed jokingly.  
_

_"Well just saying it as it is." She shrugged.  
_

_"Yes but mom and dad don't need to know that."  
_

_"So you're bringing her here to what? Show off?"  
_

_"Pretty much," se answered with a shrug. "She's CEO of her own company, and she's only 25."  
_

_"So she's older than you?"  
_

_"Not by much," he replied.  
_

_"Well what's the plan then?"  
_

_"They keep going on and on at me about having opened the club, and not finishing college, and they keep bugging me about living with Felicity," he sighed before continuing, "and the rumours about us," he whispered.  
_

_Thea watched as his eyes softened and he looked genuinely sad. "Well I think Felicity can handle them," she answered.  
_

_"Yeh but she shouldn't have to, not for being my friend." Thea couldn't helped the genuinely surprised look on her face. "What?"  
_

_"You never care about rumours, or people's reputations," she whispered a little stunned.  
_

_"Well Felicity is different," he replied with a shrug. "She's helped me a lot Speedy, and I don't want my past to tarnish that."  
_

_"You really care about her," she answered unable to stop staring at him, his whole body relaxed as he spoke about her even if he had a sadness to his tone.  
_

_"Yes I do," he replied, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck as if that realisation had only just occurred to him. They sat in silence for a minute as a variety of emotions flittered across his face before he changed the subject quickly. "So where are mom and dad?"  
_

_"Dad's at the office as usual," she answered with a shrug. "And I think mom is in the kitchen, making sure everything is perfect for your girlfriend."  
_

_"Not my girlfriend," he said instantly.  
_

_"What are you two talking about?" Moira asked as she stepped into the living room.  
_

_"Ollie was just telling me about his girlfriend." She purposefully looked at him to see him glaring at her.  
_

_"Well it will be nice to meet this woman, and see you dating again," she answered.  
_

_"You mean away from Felicity."  
_

_"Well I don't think it's right for a man and woman to share accommodation who aren't a couple," she replied with an icy stare.  
_

_"And whose fault was that?" Oliver retorted and instantly Thea felt the tension in the room.  
_

_"You can't keep blaming us for your actions."  
_

_"And you can't keep having ago at Felicity for helping me." Oliver stood up abruptly. "How many more times can I repeat that we're just friends before you'll be happy?"  
_

_"An eternity," Thea mumbled, earning a glare from her mother and a smile from Oliver.  
_

_"When you stop living with her, and see she's only after one thing."  
_

_"And what's that?"  
_

_"The company!" she exclaimed.  
_

_"Honestly mom, it was Felicity that encouraged me to reconnect but then it's things like this, that make me wonder why I bother."  
_

_"What's all the commotion about?" Robert said appearing from nowhere.  
_

_"Oh just the usual," Thea answered with a smile. "Good to see you dad."  
_

_"Always a pleasure Thea. How's college going?"  
_

_"I don't start until the fall dad, I'm travelling remember."  
_

_"Ah of course! Well it's good to have you home for awhile, and of course to see you too son." Thea looked up to Moira still glaring in Oliver's direction. "Good to see you too dad," he replied stepping forward to hug him. "I see you're still working hard."  
_

_"Well a company doesn't run itself," he answered with a smile. "I'll just go freshen up, why don't we all wait for your girlfriend in the dining room?" Thea couldn't help the small giggle that escaped her as Oliver turned his head to glare at her.  
_

_"Of course, come on children," Moira said softly gesturing to the next room. Thea dragged herself up nudging Oliver as she went and he merely shook his head with a grin._

_Moira nudged the cutlery slightly, being very precise in their placement. "I'm just going to check in the kitchens. Thea you sit there beside me, and your father will be the head of the table, so you and your girlfriend can sit there Oliver." She gestured to the settings so the pair took their seats before she scurried off.  
_

_"So how's the club going?" Thea asked leaning on her elbows.  
_

_"Great, and no you and your friends will not be drinking in there."  
_

_"Spoilsport," she mumbled.  
_

_"Don't care."  
_

_"As if you weren't drinking at my age," she answered with a cheeky grin.  
_

_"Well I'm hoping you learn from my many mistakes."  
_

_"Oh please, you were never that bad," she said with a wave of her hand.  
_

_"Thea, I am. There are things you have no idea about, you were younger and didn't notice. But I was bad and I never want you to feel like I did, feel that pressure and rather than deal with it throw yourself into drugs and drink."_

_She stared at the serious expression on his face, one she wasn't accustomed to seeing. "You're being serious," she answered.  
_

_"Deadly. It's taken all this and the kindness of friends to realise life isn't always one big party."_

_She tilted her head at him watching his face. "You mean Felicity," she answered.  
_

_"Yes okay, Felicity," he replied with a shake of his head. "But can we please not bring her up in front of-"  
_

_"Your girlfriend?" she teased and he groaned.  
_

_"Fine, but mom too. You've seen her thoughts."  
_

_"Oh ignore mom. Felicity wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone try to steal the company and use you in the process," Thea commented with a beaming smile.  
_

_"You took that from meeting her once?"  
_

_"Once? Me and Felicity have dinner whenever I'm in town." His mouth fell open in utter shock. "What? I like her she's cool," she replied with a shrug._

_Just then Robert appeared heading towards his seat. "So we're meeting your girlfriend tonight?" he enquired.  
_

_"Yep," Thea added with a toothy grin.  
_

_"We're just dating," he replied quickly.  
_

_"Oh is that what the young ones call it these days?" Robert asked with a chuckle._

_The doorbell chimed throughout the house. "And on that note, I'll go let her in." He jumped up from his seat, heading out the room without even looking back.  
_

_"So what do we know about this woman?" Robert asked Thea.  
_

_"I don't know, he just said she was a little older and CEO of her own company."  
_

_"That is mighty impressive," he commented as Moira stepped in carrying a tray of different bottles. She placed it down on the side behind Robert, her back turned_ _towards them.  
_

_"What's impressive?" she asked.  
_

_"Olivers girlfriend," Robert said.  
_

_"Everyone I want you to meet Isabel," Oliver's voice rang out. Thea looked up in time to see a brunette dressed in a short black dress. She had a beaming smirk on her face, as there was the sound of shattering glass. Thea spun her head to see the remnants of glass all over the floor by her mother's feet. She glanced up to see a scowl on her face.  
_

_"Get out!" Moira snapped.  
_

_"Mom!" Oliver answered in shock.  
_

_"Get that, that, that bitch out of my house!" she shouted stepping forward waving her arm.  
_

_"Nice to see you too Moira," Isabel said with a smug look.  
_

_"What are you doing here?" Robert said looking clearly pale._

_"I'm here because Oliver asked me to be," she answered.  
_

_"What's going on?" Oliver asked staring at them all.  
_

_"Yes, what is going on?" Isabel added staring hard at them. Thea sat there glancing at them all stunned into silence.  
_

_"I will not have her in this house, and you will not see her!" Moira screeched.  
_

_"Mom you do not get to say who I can and can not see."  
_

_"She's right," Robert added standing up. "You need to leave Izzy."  
_

_"You don't get to call me that!" she snapped in clear anger.  
_

_"Please don't do this," he pleaded calmly walking towards her.  
_

_"Do what exactly, Robert?" she countered tilting her head.  
_

_"You know full well you bitch," Moira snapped.  
_

_"Still as cold as you've ever been," she remarked. "And yet you chose to stay."  
_

_"I had to," he answered. "I have responsibilities."  
_

_"Bullshit!" she snapped.  
_

_"What the hell is happening here?" Oliver asked stepping from Isabel slightly.  
_

_"Why don't you ask your father how well he really knows me?" she suggested glaring at him. "Why don't you tell them exactly what this family is like?"  
_

_"No," Moira snapped.  
_

_"Oh then I guess I have to," she answered. "Your dad had an affair with me. I wasn't the first, and I probably won't be the last."  
_

_"What?" Oliver stammered. "I... slept with the same woman as my dad," he whispered rubbing his hands over his face. Thea blinked rapidly as her parents froze dead.  
_

_"Son-"  
_

_"No, what the actual fuck? Why are you still together if he cheated on you?" he shouted towards his mother.  
_

_"Oliver it isn't that simple."  
_

_"Oh no of course it isn't. There's no wonder you're so messed up with these as your parents," Isabel spat out. "It's enough to give anyone a complex."  
_

_"Isabel, ENOUGH," Robert said firmly.  
_

_"Oh we're far from over here," she answered with a dry laugh. "I loved you once, as I know you did-"  
_

_"But I chose my kids, they come before anything!"  
_

_"No but you didn't choose your child did you?" Thea glanced at Oliver who was frowning too.  
_

_"You shut your mouth you vicious cow!" Moira snapped rushing towards her._

_Robert wrapped his arms around her waist holding her back. "Moira no, she isn't worth it."_

_Moira huffed loudly. "It was always someone younger! Always some stupid bimbo in the office!" she screeched.  
_

_"Yes and you slept with my best friend!" he shouted back. Moira froze in an instant. "Did you really think I wouldn't know? That I didn't know she wasn't mine?"  
_

_Thea blinked rapidly, her heart hammering in her chest. "What?" she whispered.  
_

_"Now look who's the bitch," Isabel said with a proud grin.  
_

_"Get the fuck out!" Robert snapped.  
_

_"My pleasure," she answered turning on her heels and happily strutting out.  
_

_"Thea, honey," Moira whispered walking towards her.  
_

_"I'm... you're not my dad," she said completely stunned.  
_

_"No, no I'm not," Robert answered and Moira shot a glare at him._

_"My dads Malcolm Merlyn?" she uttered._ _  
_

_"Sweetie, let's talk about this," Moira said, moving slowly as if trying not to spook her.  
_

_"I... I..." She looked up to see a pair of arms wrapping around her, hauling her into his chest. "Oliver," she whimpered as she couldn't hold back the tears.  
_

_"You're my sister Thea, and nothing changes that."  
_

_"It isn't what you think," Moira said her voice shaking.  
_

_"You cheated on me with my best friend and got pregnant, there's no other way to see it," Robert snapped.  
_

_"And you've been having affairs since Oliver was born!" she shouted back, stopping to glare at him. "I was there for our friend when his wife died, when we lost our best friend, and I made a mistake."  
_

_"A mistake which produced me," Thea mumbled feeling her whole world shattering around her.  
_

_"Exactly," Robert snapped.  
_

_"But you stayed! You never said anything!" Moira answered.  
_

_"As you never said anything about my indiscretions," he replied with a sharpness.  
_

_"That's why you always worked?" Oliver asked in realisation. "That's why you were barely here because you two actually can't stand to be around each other." They stood in silence, not saying a single word, and it spoke more words than they ever could.  
_

_"You... you lied to me, my whole life," Thea whimpered, unable to wrap her head around it all.  
_

_"I never meant to," Moira rushed out. "I... Robert has always been a good father, he is your dad, not Malcolm."  
_

_Robert snickered, with a shake of his head and Thea struggled to control her emotions still wrapped in Oliver's arms. "I... I can't be here," she mumbled and Oliver nodded.  
_

_"We're leaving."  
_

_"We need to talk about this."  
_

_"No. I think after all this time you can wait awhile longer. I'm going to take care of my sister!" Oliver snapped, leading Thea out the room. They didn't argue or follow, instead Oliver lead them straight outside before pulling his phone from his pocket.  
_

_"Hey Tommy, I need your help. Me and Thea."_

* * *

"You're not my sister?" he stammered out, his mind a jumbled mess. "They lied to us, and they continued lying to us? WAIT YOU LIED TO ME!"

"Wait, wait calm down," she said softly approaching him.

"You're really telling me to calm down right now?" he snapped.

"Hey! I was the one whose "father" basically disowned her from that day, and whose "real" father doesn't even acknowledge she's alive. So do not even dare play that card."

"That's why I was so angry? They… they lied our whole lives…"

"I think so," Thea answered glancing down at her feet. "You were always so much angrier than me, and… I…" she shrugged trying to calm her own emotions.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?" he asked still trying to control his temper.

"Because you couldn't remember," she answered.

"I can't believe you aren't my sister," he whispered in disbelief.

"I'm still your sister," she replied with a frown. "I'm still exactly the same."

"But you're Tommy's too," he added with a shake of his head.

"Yes, but he always treated me like a sister anyway."

"I… slept with my dad's mistress." he whispered as that finally hit him.

"Yep," she answered with a grimace.

"That's what the comment was about."

"Sadly, yes."

He shuddered, his stomach flipping around. "What the hell happened to our family Thea?"

"Dad cheated on mom nearly their whole married life, and mom in a moment of grief slept with Malcolm after his wife, Rebecca died. 9 months later I'm born and everyone lives in ignorance bliss for 18 years until Isabel decides to ruin it all."

"But why?"

Thea shrugged. "I never asked. It's not like I had the opportunity after that night."

"Why?" he asked.

"I never went home. They agreed to pay my tuition at college, but I worked for my living expenses. Mom tried to stay a part of my life and I was civil but dad never even bothered."

"I just can't believe it," he said with a shake of his head. "Is that why you're nothing to do with QC?"

"Yes, but it's not like I'm interested anyway," she answered with a sad smile.

"But he raised you."

"And he didn't care! After 18 years of raising me, he basically washed his hands of me."

"And so I did the same to them," he whispered.

"Yes, but it was always different for you Ollie. You're the heir, and that's what they saw you as. That's why they treated Felicity so badly, that's why they forced their way back into your life after your accident."

"They rewrote the past," he mumbled out loud.

"They tried to the moment they stepped into that hospital room."

"Why didn't anyone say anything?" he asked.

"Would you, at that point, have believed us? We weren't the same as you remembered, and forcing you into a certain life to suit us, wasn't what we wanted… we wanted you to figure it out."

"But you told me just now."

"Because you nearly made the same mistake again and I couldn't let you do that, not with her."

"So the partying you're okay with but hint of me sleeping with her-"

"I'm not at all okay with the partying, but we can only repeat that so many times. That, that just happened I could stop," she answered. "Do you really think I wanted to lie to you Ollie? After all this? But you weren't in a great place, in fact you still aren't. We gave mom and dad a chance to tell you, but instead you're living back in the mansion and history is repeating itself."

"WELL HOW AM I MEANT TO CHANGE IT WHEN I DON'T REMEMBER!" he shouted in anger.

"Fine, take out all your frustrations on me, and the people closest to you, but god damn it Oliver, you need to start to realise that maybe the reason you can't remember is because you don't want to." He stood there completely frozen at the insinuation. "Maybe you just… you don't want to remember all the pain, and suffering. Maybe you just want to be exactly who you used to be." She shrugged.

"I need to go," he answered turning away from her.

"Fine," she replied with a heavy sigh, the frustration rolling off her in waves. He walked straight out the gala, avoiding everyone's eyes as they watched him. He shrugged off Diggles hand as he made for the exit and before he got to the car he was calling his parents, demanding to see them.

* * *

He didn't even wait for the car to stop as he jumped out and practically ran into the house. He was genuinely stunned to find both his parents in the living room waiting. His mother sat on the sofa whilst his father leant against the fireplace.

"You're actually here?" he replied sarcastically to his father.

"Well your call sound pretty important," he answered glancing up at him.

"Oh cut the crap, I know," Oliver said sternly. "I know because I apparently just nearly made the same mistake twice."

Moira tilted her head staring at her. "I don't have the foggiest idea what you mean?"

"Isabel Rochev," he answered and instantly he saw their demeanours change. His mom sat straighter tensing up whilst his father seemed to deflate completely. "So stop lying to me! Thea told me about the affairs, about who her real father is."

"Let us explain," Moira added quickly standing.

"I'd rather you told me the truth," he deadpanned. "I moved back in, and I believed all your lies instead of trusting the people closest to me because you're my parents. Yet you caused everyone pain."

"You abandoned us Oliver," Robert spoke first.

"What you really think after learning the truth I believe everything you say. Are you two even together? Because that would explain your absence around here."

"Look, we'll tell you the truth, we'll tell you everything," Moira interrupted. "God, we thought we finally had a chance to get you back, to be a part of your life but you seem to be reverting back to the boy you were and not the man that we were admiring from afar."

"So you what? Silenced Thea and Felicity? Well everyone?"

"No," Robert said sternly. "No we never asked them to do anything, they just seemed to go along with it."

"They were waiting for you to tell the truth," He answered. "Which was a really stupid decision."

"We didn't want to cause you pain again," Moira whispered and Oliver laughed.

"Honestly just stop lying and tell me the truth!" he argued.

"I cheated on your mother, regularly," Robert supplied as Moira stood there stoically. "It never meant anything at the start, it was just the thrill and pleasure, but it became more and more regular."

"So why bother staying married?" he asked.

"Because I always loved your mom, I just couldn't stay faithful," he answered.

"And I loved your dad, we had you, and I didn't want to destroy our family," Moira added.

"So why cheat with Malcolm?" Oliver directed towards her.

"It wasn't planned, it just happened," she answered as Robert stood there shaking his head. "After Rebecca died, I felt alone. She was my best friend, and she was gone. Your dad was always at work, and I was grieving, and Malcolm was there, and I was there for him and Tommy, and it just happened-"

"You keep saying," Robert mumbled.

"Don't," she snapped. "Don't you dare judge me after everything."

"I didn't get pregnant with my husband's best friend," he retorted.

"No, but can you honestly tell me that you know there aren't anymore Queens out there?" she shouted.

"STOP IT," Oliver's voice broke through before Robert even had a chance to reply. "Jesus, can you not tell me without bickering?" The room fell silent for a moment both not meeting his eyes.

"After your mother fell pregnant again, I suspected some things but I stayed. I realised I'd hurt her and I wanted to do better, so I tried damn hard to make it work and Thea felt like mine, I raised her as mine," he continued, his voice having a soft timber as he seemed to be fighting his emotions.

"Until Isabel," Moira answered sitting back on the sofa looking defeated.

"I fell in love," Robert whispered. "I didn't think it was possible, but Isabel was so different, and she cared about more than the business, she wanted us to leave and start again, and I had every intention of doing so."

"But you didn't," Oliver said softly.

"No, when we were meant to leave Thea got hurt, and I chose her and you over Isabel."

"So why not leave after? Why stay?" Oliver asked.

"Because of you," Moira answered truthfully. "Isabel turned up that night demanding to see Robert, demanding that he leave with her to be happy but he was at the police station with you. It was your first offence."

"So I ruined your life is what you're saying?"

"No," Robert answered. "No, I chose my children and she couldn't accept that. She couldn't understand."

"She tried to make our life harder, she was always there. Work and events, always hovering," Moira added.

"So I gave her money to leave, and she got angry. She questioned if I ever really loved her." He ran a hand at the back of his neck his voice sounding small.

"But she took it and left," Moira continued. "And we went back to our lives."

"I wanted to give you purpose, as well as a legacy for my company. I… I chose that over love," Robert added with an air of regret in his tone.

"So that's when we pushed you into the right colleges, into the right relationships-"

"It didn't feel like that," Oliver answered. "It felt like you already knew what you wanted for my future, and I got no say in that."

"We were desperately trying to stop you making mistakes, we made so many," Moira answered. "When you dropped out the 4the college and had to shadow your father we thought that would straighten you out, you had no reason to party."

"But that failed?" Oliver whispered.

"Greatly," Robert replied. "You did nothing put party, you barely turned up to work, you got in trouble for drugs-"

"And Laurel left you for cheating on her with Sara," Moira added. "And we were at the end of a rope, so we made a decision, and we cut you off."

"Which is how I ended up with Felicity."

"Yes," Robert answered with a sigh. "And she did what we couldn't."

"She helped me get clean."

"Yes," Moira replied. "She was a support that none of us could match."

"Then why were you so against that? Why were you both so angry? Why did she leave QC? And why did I cut you out our lives?" Oliver asked, rushing it all out as he stood there with his heart pounding.

"Because of Isabel," Moira answered dipping her head in shame. "All I saw was another young woman, trying to get her claws into the company, into our money."

"But she was amazing at her job," Robert supplied with a sad sigh. "And she was even better with helping you, you became a better person with her help. We failed that."

"So you were jealous?" he asked with a dry laugh.

"No we were trying to protect you. We wanted you to be a part of the company, and Miss Smoak was a good way to get that. After kicking you out, and you getting help she encouraged you to still be a part of our lives and we took advantage of that," Moira answered grimacing at herself.

"How?" He asked.

"We gave her an ultimatum," Robert replied. "Either she gets you back into the company or she'd never get promoted."

"You did what?" Oliver asked a little stunned.

"I gave her all the lowly IT tasks, I made her life a living hell and I regret that," he whispered softly. "Because she was truly made to do her job."

"And she chose me?" Oliver asked a little taken aback.

"Yes," Moira confirmed. "She said she could never force you into something you didn't want." Oliver nodded feeling a lump in his throat.

"But something happened," Robert said looking at his feet. "Felicity collapsed at work, she was off sick for awhile after and you came to see us."

"You told us that you'd never forgive us for what we had done. That you couldn't even bare to look at us, that Felicity meant more to you than we could ever comprehend because our marriage was toxic, we were toxic," Moira sobbed as a tear rolled down her cheek. "You said that you never wanted to see us again, that you wanted nothing more to do with the company or us."

"And a few days later Miss Smoak handed in her notice," Robert added.

"But what did you do?"

"We have no idea, but we'd never seen you like that before Oliver. Never," Moira replied with a small shake of her head. "The pain and anger that day could be felt rolling off you in waves, and we presumed it was because she got sick, because we pushed her too hard but it seemed so much more."

Oliver stared at them for a while, glancing between them and he could feel the guilt, regret and shame rolling off them. "I don't know why I said those things but-"

"You were right," Robert interrupted. "Our marriage was toxic, our love was and that affected you and Thea. So I did what I thought was best, I cut Thea off and gave her a chance without me and-"

"We got divorced," Moira added looking down at the wedding ring on her finger.

"You aren't even together anymore?" he asked stunned.

"No, your mother kept the house, I have a flat in the city."

"And I'm dating Walter," she whispered with a blush.

"How… why did you lie? Why did you pretend?"

"Because we wanted you to have the life you should have," Moira answered. "And it was nice to see that our son didn't look at us with all the hate in the world, and we wanted to hold onto that."

"We love you, and Thea," Robert said looking at his feet. "And we just wanted to protect you both."

"So that's why you cut Thea off."

"She is better off without me in her life, she's made that perfectly clear. I am not a nice person, and I have hurt everyone I've ever loved-"

"So you pushed her away to protect her?"

He nodded. "How do you carry on when someone you raised for 18 years looks at you like you destroyed her whole life?" he whispered.

"I don't know," Oliver responded staring between them.

"We love you, and we only want what's best for you," Moira rushed out. "And I think we've come to realise that what's best is to stop making decisions for you."

"So you can do what you want," Robert answered. "Stay at QC or don't, live here or don't. We won't choose for you anymore."

"I just, I don't know… I need… I need to think, I need some time."

"Of course," Moira replied with a sad smile.

"You do what you have to," Robert added.

"But we're here if you need us." Oliver merely nodded as he walked out the house. He didn't even entertain the idea of getting back in the car, instead he walked.

* * *

He walked and walked, with no aim or purpose. He just let his mind wander over everything, and he didn't know how to think or feel about anything he'd heard over the last few hours. He swallowed hard as he glanced up at the dark sky, finally standing still. He took a deep breath, the cool air filling his lungs before he glanced around to see where he was. He blinked several times when he realised where he'd walked to. His heart clenched in his chest as he took in the dark and quiet scene of their home. Of his and Felicity's house.

He walked up the path, and didn't even think as he pulled out his wallet, and took the key out he'd kept there for 4 weeks. He turned the key in the lock and pushed it open. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. The house was quiet, too quiet. There was no tapping of keys, no babbling, or singing, no signs of life as he looked at the place. It looked exactly the same but it didn't feel it.

He walked into the kitchen, the space illuminated by the moonlight coming in through the patio doors. He looked around, and it seemed exactly like it had when he was last here. He sighed as he sat down at the table and pulled his phone out. He stared at the screen, only one person he wanted to talk to, one person he wanted to share it all with. With a deep breath he hit call and waited.

The phone rang for what seemed an eternity before a small voice answered. "Hello?"

"Felicity…" he rushed out trying to hide his emotions but failing miserably.

"Oliver? What's wrong?" He could hear the panic, and a bed creak as she presumably must have been sleeping.

"God I woke you," he rushed out. "I shouldn't have called, I'm sorry." He pulled his phone away prepared to hang up.

"OLIVER WAIT! Wait!" He heard her shouting and he pulled it back to his ear. "What's going on?" she asked. "And don't lie I can tell."

"I know." The line fell silent. "I know the truth."

"You… you remember?" she barely whispered.

"No, Thea told me, and I just spoke to my parents and I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel."

"What exactly did they tell you?" she asked.

"That Thea isn't my sister, that my parents both had affairs, that I slept with my dad's mistress… and that they treated you so badly and all you did was help me. You've always helped me, and I…" he stopped talking pressing his hand to his eyes to stop the tears falling.

"I'll come over, I'll be there by morning."

"No, no don't do that," he whispered. "I've ruined your life enough, my family has ruined your life enough."

"Oliver-"

"No, I… I need help, I have a problem. A lot of problems. And I should have listened to you, and everyone. I have a drinking problem, and I didn't know if I wanted to remember, but I need to try… I need to…"

"Let me help you," she whispered.

"No, I'm not ruining your life anymore. You shouldn't love me Felicity, you shouldn't," he answered rubbing a hand at the back of his neck.

"It's not something I can turn off Oliver," she joked a little.

"I don't know how you ever loved me," he whispered.

"I used to ask the same thing about you loving me," she answered in a whisper. Olivers heart shattered at that thought, and he found himself unable to stop the tears.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she answered. "I can come back, and I can help."

"No," he replied. "No, I called my parents toxic apparently, I said they and their marriage was toxic and I'm starting to think maybe I was the toxic one."

"No!" she practically shouted. "You weren't, you went through so much, you got help, you changed…"

"But I'm not now. I'm hurting everyone around me."

"That's the first step Oliver, admitting you have a problem."

"What's next?"

"Getting help," she answered. "Honestly I can help you. I can be there for you."

"I just think that will hurt you more," he whispered. "And I'm tired of hurting people."

"Okay," she whispered back.

"I get it you know?"

"Get what?"

"Why you didn't tell me the truth?" He heard her breath coming out as stutters down the phone line waiting for him to continue. "You clearly always try to see the best in people, and you gave my parents the benefit of the doubt even after they treated you so badly, and they gave you that ultimatum."

"They told you that?" she gasped.

"They did, and it wasn't long after that, that I disowned them. You got sick, because of how they treated you."

"Yes," she mumbled.

"Well anyway, you just didn't tell me the full truth so they could, you let me distrust you and trust them rather than cause me all that heartbreak and pain again." He heard her whimper. "You're a remarkable person Felicity, and you deserve so much more than I can offer you. You deserve someone who will cherish a life with you, not someone who can't even remember meeting you," he whispered and he could hear her soft sobs on the other end. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's fine," she answered. "I'm sorry too."

"It isn't your fault. Me losing my memories put a strain on our marriage, one that no one can plan for. So it's okay to walk away." He heard her cry a little harder. "I just, I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy too."

"Goodnight Felicity," he whispered.

"Goodnight Oliver," she replied and both sat silently on the phone listening to the other breathe. It was a few minutes before Oliver took a deep breath and hung up. He placed his phone on the table taking his head in his hands. He calmed himself before he pulled out his wallet. He searched through it pulling out the card that Tommy had given him all that time ago. He stared at the numbers, before he grabbed his phone dialing the number with purpose. He waited and listened as the phone went to an answer machine.

"Hi, I was wondering if it was possible that I could talk to-"

"Mr Queen, I must say I'm glad you finally called. After hearing about your accident I wondered if you'd need to talk again."


	11. Thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Firstly thank you as always for the continued support! It honestly does mean more than I can ever say. Secondly this chapter is a short one! I would like to say in all fairness chapter 11 and 12 were one but I decided to separate them which you will see after you've read both. Thirdly I apologise for this... *hugs*

6 weeks later.

"Honestly you think this is a good idea?" Oliver asked with a sigh.

"It's a masquerade party Oliver, you don't have to drink, you can just circulate and help me without anyone knowing," Thea insisted.

"You do realise I'm only here for you right?"

"Yes I am well aware," she answered with a smirk as she fixed the simple black mask on her face.

"And I am very proud of you," he replied.

She stopped dead and turned to look at him. "I'm proud of you too," she whispered.

"What for?" he asked.

"You know what for," she answered. "You're getting help, you're not drinking, you're actively trying harder and it's just nice to see." She shrugged.

"It's only been 6 weeks Thea, that's nothing."

"But it's a start," she said touching his arm.

"Yes I know," he answered with a smile. "So what else do you need help with?" he asked.

"Well the party will be starting soon, and you've done enough just enjoy it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! You've been working hard at QC, getting involved with the clubs and restaurant. You deserve a break."

"Is that the real reason you asked me to come?" he asked tilting his head at her.

"Maybe," she mumbled. "The press don't really care about Oliver Queen here."

"It's Central City Thea, it's not the other side of the world," he answered with a shake of his head.

"Yes but you just need to wear your mask I'm sure no one will recognise you," she encouraged and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine, I'll go enjoy it and circulate."

"Mrs Harper."

"Oh Doctor Wells!"

"Please call me Harrison," he said with a warm smile, shaking her hand and then turning to Oliver.

"Oliver Queen."

"Ah Mr Queen. Nice to meet you."

"And you too," he replied shaking his hand.

"So I assume everything is ready," he turned towards Thea with a smile.

"Of course," Thea answered. "It is as you asked. All with an air of mystery much like all the scientific research you do here at S.T.A.R labs."

"Good, you really were highly recommended, and so I expect great things."

"Only the best," she replied with a smile. "Is it okay if Oliver does one final check of the labs, makes sure no party goers can have access or any staff are roaming around?"

"Of course, you have the keycard for those doors."

"Yes I do," She answered.

"And you plan on having security on all doors other than the exits and bathrooms of course?"

"Yes all of them have been briefed, and the press was invited but only limited as you said this party was a celebration for the hard work your staff have been putting in."

"Exactly." He beamed. "You really do take it all in."

"I try," she whispered with a grin.

"Well I better go check the rest of the rooms," Oliver said not wanting to get in Theas way.

"Oh yes of course." Thea pulled the keycard from around her neck. "That will give you access to the back, just check the main labs and make sure none of the workers are hovering around or our staff got lost."

"Sure," he answered taking it from her and slipping it into his suit pocket. "Nice to meet you Doctor Wells."

"And you too Mr Queen, I've heard great things," he responded with a nod and Oliver turned with a frown having no idea what he'd heard.

* * *

Oliver checked all the right doors were locked, and no one was loitering around. He'd done a sweep of the entrance hall, where the party would be held, and had searched some of the labs off the back. He'd heard and seen no signs of anyone being there, until he headed towards the main lab. He slowed down when he heard the familiar tapping of fingers on a keyboard. He shook his head presuming he was imagining it but as he stepped closer to the entrance it only got louder. He stopped dead when he turned the corner and saw a blonde sat at the main computers typing away happily. He blinked several times, this couldn't be happening? Could it?

"Cisco, you don't need to hover," Felicity's voice sound exactly the same and he felt his heart pounding in his chest as he realised it was real. "I'm just finishing up the security codes, what with tonight-" She turned her head. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in shock. "You're not Cisco," she mumbled in disbelief.

Oliver chuckled a little bit walking fully into the room. He walked straight past the long covered work station, and into the main lab so he could face her. "No I'm not."

"Oliver," she whispered looking down briefly before glancing in his direction. "What are you doing here?"

"I should probably be asking you the same thing?" he countered tilting his head at her.

Her glasses were perched on the end of her nose, her hair down in loose waves. "I asked first," she answered with a stare.

"Thea. She's running the event here tonight, she was highly recomm- that was you," he said point his hand in her direction as it all started to make sense.

"Maybe," she muttered.

"You recommended her for the job."

"Harrison needed someone to plan his event, I merely showed him Thea's work. But I didn't know you were coming Oliver."

"Otherwise you wouldn't have come?"

"No, no nothing like that. I just meant I didn't suggest Thea to get you here."

"Oh, right," he answered nodding his head. "And I didn't come to see you." He watched her head and smile fall briefly. "What I mean is I didn't know you were here. I didn't come specifically to see you."

"So a happy coincident?" she suggested.

"It would appear so," he answered with a shrug, his eyes glancing around the space. There were various boards with codes and equations covering them, as well as other smaller rooms off to each side. "You work here now?" he asked.

"Sort of," she mumbled once again looking down. "I'm doing a favour for a friend," she answered looking up at him.

"Oh, Cisco I presume?"

"Yes, he works here. Several of my old college friends live in Central City actually,"

"I see," he replied standing there awkwardly.

"I'm helping with some security stuff, it's the least I could do." She shrugged.

"You don't need to explain," he answered honestly. "I have no right, for any explanations."

Her eyes widened as she stared hard at him. "Of course you do, you're still an important part of my life."

He could only nod in response as he shuffled on his feet. "Thea and Doctor Wells asked me to make sure none of the staff were in the labs."

"Ah I see, well I just have this to finish off and I need to get ready, and then I will be out of here and ready to party," she said her fingers tapping rapidly on the keyboard.

"I'll leave you to it," he whispered.

"No you don't have to," she said looking up and her fingers slowed slightly. "You're here, we're alone, we can chat right?."

"Oh, okay."

She looked back at the screen typing. "How are you doing?" she asked softly. "I mean after our last conversation-"

"I'm doing okay," he interrupted and she glanced up clearly to see if he was being honest. "I won't lie, it was a shock, the lies, the truth, but I understand."

She took a deep breath before continuing her work. "I just wanted to protect you from all the pain of the past," she mumbled. "And selfishly, I didn't want to be the one to remind you of that. You didn't, don't remember me so the truth is you probably wouldn't have believed me anyway."

"Probably not," he replied with a shrug. "But I know now."

"You do and I am sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. My parents were not the people I remembered, they lied to me and they aren't even married anymore."

"I know," she whispered with clear guilt.

"But that's okay," she looked up again, "I don't blame you or them. I'm actually okay about it all now. I know you all want to protect me, support me, you always have."

"Oliver?" she whispered seeming surprised by his revelation.

"I got help," he answered proudly.

"You did?" she said with a proud smile of her own.

"Yes, and it appears that I'm already well seasoned in therapy," he replied. She quickly looked away taking a shuddery breath. "And I'm guessing you already know that."

"I'm sor-"

"Don't apologise," he answered with a tender smile. "I wouldn't have believed you, I wouldn't have believed that I went to therapy, that I recommended it to all our friends, that I reached out and wrote things down. That it genuinely helped."

"It always helped you," she admitted. "You got help not long after," she took a shaky breath clearly struggling with words, "Samantha and the baby," she whispered.

"That makes sense," he answered with a nod, because it really did.

"We've both been," she added.

"We have? They never mentioned that, but then I again, I think there's enough to work on currently without diving too much into the past."

"Yes," she mumbled returning back to her work. "But I'm glad it's helping Oliver. I'm so very glad you decided to get help."

"Me too," he replied staring at her for a long moment before continuing. "I'm just sorry I didn't do it sooner, that I treated you and the situation so badly-"

"No you didn't," she answered once again stopping.

"Don't excuse it. I was in a bad place, yes but there was no need for me to act how I did, especially when you were struggling with it all too. I truly am sorry." He watched the tears forcing them way up, and she pushed her glasses out the way to swipe at them. "Please don't cry," he whispered stepping forward.

"No, no it's okay," she answered holding a hand up. "I'm just so happy that you're getting help."

"I needed to," he admitted glancing at his feet, he placed his hands behind his back to stop himself from reaching out and comforting her. "I'm still working at QC, but getting more involved with my businesses."

She nodded. "That's great, you do whatever you need to," she said with a watery smile, still rubbing at her tears.

"I just wanted you to know I'm trying to be better," he answered looking back at her. She merely nodded as more tears fell. "I really should be going, because I'm clearly stopping you from working."

"Okay," she agreed not meeting his eyes. "I'll see you at the event though?" she asked.

"Of course," he added with a smile.

"It's good to see you doing better Oliver," she rushed out with a tender smile.

"It's just good to see you Felicity," he replied heading towards the door.

He heard her small gasp as he rushed passed her. "I'll see you later," she called after him.

"Yes, I'll be seeing you," he replied not turning around, and not stopping as he made his way back to the main hall.

* * *

The party was in full swing, everyone's masks were in place and the event was a buzz with joy. Oliver stayed on the sidelines not really getting involved in the dancing or with the press. He just wanted the event to go by as calmly as possible.

"I mean you could at least look like you're enjoying yourself," Thea said as she stood beside him. "The mask might conceal your face but your eyes speak volumes."

He pulled the keycard out his pocket handing it to her, ignoring her comment. "Here."

"Oh thanks, was everything okay?" she asked slipping it back around her neck.

"Just one person in the back."

"Did they leave?" she asked.

"They were finishing off some work, and then joining the party."

"Oh, well I hope they aren't stuck in there doing work."

Oliver nodded glancing around the space looking for the blonde hair of Felicity. "I don't know I can't see her."

"Her?" She asked with a surprise.

He turned to look at her as she had an almost smirk on her face. "You know," he said accusingly.

"Know what?" she asked too innocently.

"That Felicity has been working here, that she's here, that she was in the back."

"Wait she was the her?"

"Oh don't play dumb Thea, I know what you're like."

She laughed a little before throwing her arms up in defeat. "Fine, I knew she was helping out at S.T.A.R labs, and I knew she would be here tonight, but I didn't know she was in the back."

He glared at her for a quick second. "What was your plan then?" he asked with no anger.

"To get you to talk."

"I admire your determination Thea, but nothings changed. I still treated her badly, I still don't remember, and me being here is just going to cause her more pain."

"You don't know that," she answered. "Plus as much as you might want to avoid it you do have to talk. You are married," she added with a shrug.

"I know. But I've only been in therapy 6 weeks, I don't think I'm ready."

"You might never be ready, but are you prepared to just walk away?" She answered before taking a few steps away. "Just think about it, okay?"

"Sure." He nodded, knowing he'd thought of pretty much nothing else for the last 6 weeks.

"Enjoy yourself, I'll see you later."

"Okay," he replied as she disappeared into the crowd.

He slowly made his way over to the other side of the room where an array of food was displayed. He stood at one end picking at a sandwich as he watched the crowd. There was people of every description, there were couples dancing and groups chatting, some taking photos and others talking animatedly. His eyes finally landed on a pregnant lady, she was stood the other end of the food table rubbing her rounded belly over her blue dress. He couldn't help but stare at the hand rubbing circles before he finally looked up, and suddenly froze in place. Her blonde hair was gone, replaced instead with a black wig and even though her face was covered he could see her blue eyes.

His heart hammered in his chest as he realised many things in that one moment. His head spinning with so many questions before he watched a tall young man step towards her. He kissed her gently on the cheek and she smiled happily. She grasped his hand placing it onto her belly, and he frowned before his whole face just glowed with awe. She beamed up at him, her eyes shining brightly as she said something to the mystery guy.

Oliver took a shaky breath, his whole world spinning around him. His head started to pound as he took another look at her. Felicity, his wife was pregnant, with another man and she had dark hair. He blinked several times as he stepped forward on shaky legs. He felt dizzy and lightheaded as he just tried desperately to figure it all out. But suddenly he heard people shrieking, he felt the coolness of something on his face before he was being turned.

"Oliver?" he heard Felicity murmur. He was looking up into her blue eyes, his mind a jumbled mess as realised he was lay on the floor, in her arms.

"Ollie!" he heard Thea calling. "Someone call an ambulance!"

"Oliver, hey look at me," Felicity urged and his eyes focused on hers. He saw the dark hair around her face, and flashes of purple lips, and blue eyes overtook him.

"Megan," he mumbled before the headache caused more pain, and he welcomed the darkness.


	12. Masks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: I wanted to apologise once more for the evil cliffhanger last chapter, so I apologise sincerely. Quickly before I say anything else, I wanted to give you all a gift, today is my birthday and I wanted to shower you with a gift. However, I’m sorry, I’m so very sorry for this one...

Around 5 years ago

_Oliver stood in the shadows trying not to draw too much attention to himself. He just wanted to forget all his problems, forget about getting kicked out of yet another college, forget the disappointed look of his parents and girlfriend and the fact he would shadowing his father from tomorrow. He sighed heavily from his private spot. He scanned the crowd, a variety of women there to throw themselves at his feet all for his name. And truthfully, he was getting tired of it, but part of him was still freaking out over a life with Laurel.  
_

_He shook his head chasing the thoughts away, he grabbed his beer take a large sip and then turned back to the room. He looked up to the balcony, and frowned as he stared hard. There was a woman up there, she was dressed in dark clothing and had dark hair but it was most definitely a woman. She was stood there looking down on the crowd, she didn't look a part of it but rather like a protector watching over them all. He tilted his head as she leant over the banister, just watching. She wasn't moving, or singing, or dancing, just watching.  
_

_He could see her face a little more as she leant there, her purple lips were what stuck out to him from this position. He didn't understand it, but he felt drawn to her. She wasn't like most of the women in here. He continued to watch her. Her eyes roamed the crowd, he might not be able to see the colour from his position but he saw them moving until they landed on him. He picked his drink up tipping it in her direction. She seemed to freeze before she suddenly pulled back and disappeared into the shadows. He stared intently into the space, looking and searching for any sign of her moving down the stares but she hadn't. He frowned slightly before he turned back to his drink wondering who exactly she was._

_It was hours later when Oliver spotted her again across the room. She was sat on a stool by the bar talking to the bartender. He stood up instantly, his feet dragging him across the dance floor full of swaying bodies. She was almost motionless. Her long black hair flowed down her back only a splash of dark purple cutting through it. He noted her matching attire, and the way her foot tapped to the beat of the music even if she wasn't actively moving. He ignored the advances of the women around him as he stepped closer towards her. He had no idea why he was walking towards her, why he was so intrigued but he had to speak to her. He placed his hand on her shoulder, leaning slightly over her as he spoke to the bar man._

_"Your best champagne, and whatever the lady wants." He nodded towards the mystery woman._

_"No thanks," she responded pulling out his grasp. "I have my own drink," she added pointing to_ _the glass of wine in front of her._

_He couldn't help but stare at her purple lips as she talked. "Have you ever tried champagne?" he asked and she raised an eyebrow at him._

_"I'm not sure where these moves are going, but I'm not interested buddy."_

_Oliver couldn't help the laugh that escaped him as he sat down on the stool beside her. "Who says they were moves?"_

_"Good looking guy like you in a club like this, we both know you're only after one thing," she answered with a shrug._

_"So you think I'm good looking?" he asked with a charming grin._

_"Yes, no... I mean it's obvious isn't it?" she said gesturing her hand up and down him. "God I really need to shut up," she rushed out with a groan._

_"Don't," he answered with a chuckle. "I find it quite nice."_

_"Why?" she asked skeptically._

_"Women don't usually act themselves around me."_

_"Why? Are you someone important or something?" she asked with a shrug._

_"You're not from around here are you?"_

_"Nope," she replied. "But I might be a permanent resident soon."_

_"Ah, Star City's night life enticed you?" he teased._

_"No actually," she answered._

_"Here you are," the bartender said placing the bottle of champagne in the ice bucket in front of them, and 2 glasses._

_"Thanks," Oliver replied with a nod. "Sure you don't want to try some?"_

_"How much did that thing even cost?"_

_"It doesn't matter."_

_Her eyes widened as she took him in with a shake of her head. He poured it into the two flutes and handed her one. "No thanks."_

_"Not a champagne lover?" he asked sipping at his, leaving the other beside her._

_"Not a fan of a man flaunting his money just to get into my pants," she added with a shrug, and he nearly choked on his drink not expecting her to say that. "Oh god are you okay?" she asked placing her hand on his arm as he coughed. "Sorry I didn't mean to cause that."_

_"No, no, it's fine. You aren't like most women here," he answered._

_"Is that a bad thing?"_

_"No, not at all," he added with a genuine smile and in turn she returned it. Her blue eyes sparkled and he couldn't help but stare. "But I shall need a name, unless you want me to call you Overwatch."_

_"Overwatch?" she repeated with a frown._

_"Yes, up on the balcony watching down on everyone like their protector," he answered. "So Overwatch."_

_"Ah, well I was admiring the view," she replied sarcastically gesturing to the dance floor._

_"Oh so you like to dance?"_

_"Only for the right person," she responded with a shrug. "How about yourself? You haven't exactly been dancing."_

_"Not in the mood this evening," he replied honestly._

_"But you do usually?"_

_"Depends on the person, Overwatch." She rolled her eyes at him as she looked back onto the dance floor. Her eyes clearly searching for something, or someone. "Looking for someone?"_

_"Just checking my friends are still alive," she replied turning back to sip her wine._

_"Oh so you aren't alone?"_

_"No, they agreed to come with me."_

_"So you decided on a night out?"_

_"No they insisted, plus it's to ease my nerves," she said off hand._

_"What are you nervous about?"_

_"Just a big opportunity, a life changing one," she answered continuing to sip her drink. He watched her for a brief second, the way the lights filters in across her dark hair and clothes, highlighting the brightness of her eyes and lipstick._

_"Well they can be pretty scary," he finally replied._

_She turned to look at him, her eyes searching his face for something he had no idea what. "Something tells me that you aren't the kind of person for serious decisions."_

_He shrugged. "I like to have fun," he whispered, pulling out a small packet of drugs from his inside pocket so she could see what it was._

_"Ah," she answered with clear disappointment as he dropped it back inside._

_"Not your sort of fun, Overwatch?"_

_"No," she answered. "But I don't think it's yours either."_

_He frowned at her. "What?"_

_"I dunno, this all seems like an act," she said, touching the lapel of his suit. Her fingers running over the material. "You're putting this mask on for the whole world, and I have to wonder if those drugs aren't just a way for you to escape that."_

_He laughed dryly. "You don't know me."_

_"No, but I know a thing or two about hiding who you really are. Hiding behind clothes, possessions, and pretending things are okay when they aren't."_

_"You don't know what you're talking about," he replied. "I just know how to have a good time."_

_"Okay."_

_"And... and you're one to talk. Look at what you're wearing? That's clearly-"_

_"That's to blend in, disappear," she replied with a shrug. "I know who I am, and what I want."_

_"So you prefer to blend in? Not stand out?"_

_"Yes, but maybe it's time for a change." She shrugged. "Maybe I should change it to match my personality a little more now."_

_He stared at her completely confused by the turn of the conversation. "I'm not 100% sure what's happening right now."_

_"Too many drugs?" she asked teasingly._

_"Haven't had any yet," he answered honestly._

_"Why's that?" she asked seeming genuinely curious._

_"No one to party with," he replied easily slipping the charm back on._

_She rolled her eyes instantly and shaking her head. "I've already told you that's not my thing and no matter how much you put on the charm, I'm not going to change my mind. Does that even work?"_

_"Most of the time," he answered with a shrug. Just as she was about to answer he felt someone's hand on his back. He turned towards the person._

_"Hey sweetie," the redhead said with the biggest smirk. "I hear you're looking for someone to party with," she added, wobbling on her stiletto heels. "And we all know how much you like to have fun Mr Queen."_

_"Sorry, sweetheart. I'm a little busy," he answered his usual charming smile plastered on his face._

_"Well when this uptight little madam leaves, I'll be on the dance floor," she replied leaning in close to whisper into his ear, but making sure it was loud enough for the woman to hear. He could feel how she leant further into him brushing up against him. He leant away from her, not really in the mood._

_"I'm busy," he practically snapped, and she seemed to finally get the hint as she teetered off with a grunt._

_"God really?" she asked stunned by what clearly happened._

_"What?"_

_"Firstly that women just throw themselves at you. Secondly you're a Queen! No, you're Oliver Queen."_

_"Yes and yes," he replied pouring himself another glass._

_"Why do they do that? And why didn't you tell me you were Oliver Queen?"_

_"I dunno, they always have," he replied with a shrug. "It's the name, and people talk."_

_"Talk about what?"_

_"My reputation and people call me Ollie." She grimaced, and he couldn't help but feel judged. "You don't have to sit there and judge me-"_

_"Firstly I'm not judging you. I just can't believe that women in this town practically throw themselves at you, all because of your family name and rumours about your sex life," she quieted her voice at the end._

_"Most aren't rumours," he replied with a shrug._

_"God, can you just stop it," she snapped and he stared at her._

_"Stop what?"_

_"This act." She gestured him up and down. "Deny it all you want, but you look miserable. You don't seem happy or even comfortable with women throwing themselves at you. Yet you let it happen. You don't look overly happy about being in this club, but I can't judge you Oliver." He couldn't help but stare at her and tilt his head as she used his proper name. "I don't know you, but I can see this life is tearing you apart." He sat silently for a second before she made to move. "Sorry I shouldn't have-"_

_He grabbed her wrist gently, stopping her and she looked up at him. "How could you... how-"_

_"Because I understand. I understand what it feels like to be stuck in something with no way out insight." They said nothing as they stared at each other in silence. Olivers hand gently squeezed her wrist, feeling a strong pulse under his fingertips as he just sat there with her._

_"I..." he opened his mouth and closed it again, finally letting her go and looking down at the floor. He felt deflated._

_"Look," he glanced up to see her knock back the flute of champagne, "I can't tell you how to live your life Oliver, but only you can change it. And you have to want to." She shrugged as she stood up in the tiny space between his legs and her stool. He could feel the heat from her body as he tried to find the right words._

_"I... i..."_

_She leant forward and placed a kiss to his cheek before whispering. "The names Megan." She pulled back with a cheeky glint in her eyes and he had no doubt in his mind she'd given him a fake name. She stepped away from the bar._

_"Wait, how will I get in touch?" he asked._

_"You don't need me right now Mr Queen," she called back to him walking backwards._

_"What's that supposed to me?" he shouted back and she shrugged giving him a tender smile before she disappeared into the crowd._

* * *

_Oliver groaned as he sat in the bright office of Walter Steele. He sipped the coffee in front of him nodding along to everything Walter said. He was sat in on new employee interviews, or something of the like. He was meant to be listening but truthfully he was too busy nursing his hangover from the previous night. He rubbed his head, his brain thinking of the woman, Megan, who in one conversation seemed to know him better than he knew himself. She might have left him, and he might have drank the bottle of champagne to himself, but he didn't do any of the drugs, and he didn't leave with another woman._

" _Oliver?" Walter asked as he was stood shaking the interviewee's hand._

_Oliver quickly jumped to his feet, holding his hand out to the man. "Thanks for coming," he mumbled as he shook it firmly.  
_

" _Of course Mr Queen, Mr Steele," he replied before stepping out the door._

_Walter turned onto Oliver the moment the door closed. "Are you okay today Oliver?" Walter asked with a concerned frown.  
_

" _Yeh sure."  
_

" _You don't seem very focused, we've interviewed 5 people already and truthfully I'm not sure you can even tell me who they were, or even why we're interviewing them."  
_

" _Errrmmm…" Oliver stood there awkwardly as he rubbed his hand at the back of his neck.  
_

" _We're doing the final interviews for IT advisor positions, we have the final decision on who is hired," he answered for him. "We've had some strong candidates this year, several college graduates, and of course experienced workers too."  
_

" _But we have a favourite right?" Oliver asked sitting back down in the chair beside Walter.  
_

" _In terms of strong candidates, we have one and she is pretty much being wanted by every major company in the country."  
_

" _So why is she choosing here?" he asked seriously.  
_

" _I don't know, how about you ask her?" Walter suggested as there was a small knock on the door.  
_

" _Mr Walter, Mr Queen. Miss Smoak is here to see you," Walters receptionist said with a tender smile.  
_

" _Of course, send her straight in," Walter replied, standing up and walking towards the door. Oliver merely sipped his coffee not paying any real attention. He heard them exchange pleasantries as Walter asked her to take the seat opposite them. Oliver finally looked up. The woman in front of him had her blonde hair tied up into a ponytail, she was wearing a pink shirt, and grey pencil skirt.  
_

" _Miss Smoak-"  
_

" _Please call me Felicity," she answered instantly, and Oliver frowned tilting his head.  
_

" _Felicity, this is Oliver Queen. He'll be sitting in on the interview today." Oliver noticed the way she tensed up, only looking at Walter and not at him. "I hope that's alright?"  
_

" _Of course," she replied picking up her notebook and pen. "I hope you don't mind I take notes too?"  
_

" _No, me our guest," Walter commented with a smile. "Truthfully Felicity, you more than excelled on the IT test, aced your phone interview and have been so highly recommended that this all seems like a formality more than anything."  
_

" _Really?" she asked with genuine surprise. Oliver still stared at her, she looked familiar. Her voice especially, but he couldn't place her.  
_

" _Of course. Queen Consolidated would be mad to pass on such a bright talent. You have a glorious future ahead of you, and I hope we're the right choice."  
_

" _You know about the other offers?" she asked tilting her head.  
_

" _We do. In this business people talk," Walter added. "So what can we do to make sure it's us you choose?"  
_

" _Nothing," she answered with a small smile.  
_

" _Why nothing?" Oliver found himself asking. "You literally have us by the balls here and could ask for anything."  
_

" _Oliver," Walter said firmly giving him a stern look. "Miss Smoak I apologise for Olivers-"  
_

" _No, No, that's quite alright," she answered with a smile. "I assume, that if you know about all the other offers your salary will be just as competitive, your healthcare will be pretty much inclusive, I'll have my own office and you'll offer a company car."  
_

" _Of course," Walter reassured her.  
_

" _I don't want to be greedy," Felicity said finally meeting Oliver's eyes and his jaw dropped open. He stared at the same blue eyes he'd been looking at last night. He blinked rapidly unable to hide the surprise on his face. Her dark hair and clothes were gone instead replaced with brightness.  
_

" _And that is commendable," Walter added giving Oliver a strange look. "So you'll take the job?"  
_

" _I'd like to look over the contract first, and get settled but I don't see why not," she replied with a smile.  
_

" _Good," Walter said with a beaming grin.  
_

" _Why here?" Oliver asked.  
_

" _Excuse me?"  
_

" _Why Queens Consolidated?" He quickly remembered the conversations from last night. "You aren't from around here."  
_

" _Exactly," she answered. "We all need a fresh start. Sometimes it's a lifestyle change, new clothes, a new hairstyle or breaking a bad habit." She was clearly commenting about last night. "Or in my case, a new place. New memories." Her cheerful tone slipped away with her words, and Oliver found himself genuinely curious.  
_

" _We all have a past," Oliver commented.  
_

" _Indeed we do," Walter agreed.  
_

" _But all I care about is the future. A future here, in a family run company that was built on big dreams," she responded with a smile. Oliver just shook his head before he looked at Walter._ _  
_

" _Well my receptionist has all the paperwork ready, take it with you, take a few days and if you're ready to begin your fresh start here, then call."  
_

" _Of course," Felicity replied standing up at the same time as the pair. "Nice to finally meet you Mr Steele, I mean the accent was intimidating over the phone, but in real life you're not at all as scary." She blinked rapidly as Oliver struggled to hold back the laughter. "I didn't mean you were scary, you're British you can't be scary, although you do make pretty scary villains... I promise I'm going to shut up." Oliver laughed at her ramble as Walter smiled. "Sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous."  
_

_Walter took her hand shaking it. "No need to apologise, it was a pleasure Miss Smoak." She merely nodded turning to Oliver.  
_

" _It was a pleasure to meet you, Felicity," he said her name with a quirk of his eyebrows, taking her hand and shaking it gently. He watched her cheeks flush as he leant closer to her as Walter walked towards the door. He lowered his voice so only she could hear. "Or should I say Megan, or maybe Overwatch."  
_

_She pulled out his grasp completely flustered, she nearly tripped over her own feet as she rushed towards the door. "Thank you for the meeting," she rushed out as she walked out the room.  
_

" _Oliver?" Walter asked he straightened his suit before heading towards the door.  
_

" _Just need a toilet break," he replied before stepping out. He could see her rushing towards the elevator, her paperwork in hand as he followed.  
_

" _Miss Smoak," he called and she turned to face him. Her cheeks were bright red, as she came to a standstill just before the elevators. He quickly glanced around, knowing no one would hear their conversation on this floor.  
_

" _Oliver," she replied not meeting his gaze, instead chewing her bottom lip.  
_

" _I must say I didn't recognise you," he replied. "But I like the blonde hair."  
_

" _Thanks," she mumbled.  
_

" _Why lie to me? About your name I mean."  
_

" _Because I didn't think I'd see you again," she answered with a shrug._

" _My names on the building."_

" _And I'll be downstairs in IT."  
_

" _So you thought giving me a false name and changing your appearance would do what exactly? Make me forget?"  
_

" _No," she replied staring up at him. "You're Oliver Queen, future CEO, in a relationship I might add. You don't hang around with people like me."  
_

" _What? Pretty women?"  
_

_She rolled her eyes, and he couldn't help but smile. "Stop it," she answered. "If i thought you looked miserable in the club that's nothing compared to you in that office."  
_

_He swallowed thickly seeing the truth she spoke written all over her face. "Just because I'm future CEO, doesn't mean we can't hang out."  
_

" _But your girlfriend does," she answered crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't cheat Oliver."  
_

" _Technically not cheating when we're on a break."  
_

" _That only works if your girlfriend knows you're on a break too," she retorted with a shake of her head. "Why are you so adamant in getting in my pants?"  
_

_He shrugged, because truthfully he didn't know. "There's something about you," he mumbled, now the one whose cheeks were flushing.  
_

" _Well sorry Oliver, I came here for a fresh start, not to wreck a relationship," she replied. "Just because I'm not throwing myself at you doesn't mean I'm some sort of game."  
_

" _No," he shook his head. "I didn't think that."  
_

" _Good, because I want to work here. I want it to work, and I am not dealing with that drama."  
_

" _No drama from me," he answered holding his hand up. "I swear."  
_

_She glared at him slightly clearly not believing him. "I have a feeling drama sort of follows you."  
_

_He laughed a little. "I like fun remember."  
_

" _Yes I do," she answered clearly talking about the drugs. "Does anyone else know?"  
_

" _No, but it's not like they'd care anyway," he replied with a shrug finding himself being completely honest with her.  
_

_She stared at him for a solid minute, just looking at his face. He couldn't help but stare right back. "Do not make me regret this," she said sternly reaching into her purse. She pulled out her business card. "If you need a friend, you can reach me on that."  
_

_He took the card staring at it, unsure what she meant by a friend. "Thanks."  
_

" _I'll see you around Oliver," she called as she hit the button and the elevator door opened. She stepped inside turning around to face him, as he still stood there with her card in between his fingers. He looked up. "People care, you just have to be looking at the right time," she said hitting the button.  
_

_He didn't pull his eyes from hers as the doors slowly began to shut. "Welcome to QC Felicity," he called and she smiled broadly before the doors clicked shut._

* * *

Felicity sat in the chair, unable to tear her eyes away from his face. He looked so peaceful this way, no more troubles or worries creasing his brow. She held his hand, even despite the fact she knew she shouldn't, not now, not after everything they'd been through. But him lying there, lying completely still scared her. It reminded her of the accident, and all the pain since.

"Felicity," he mumbled his eyes opening slowly as he squeezed her hand tightly.

"Hey," she whispered in response. He smiled at her, his whole face lighting up and it made her heart hammer in her chest. "I should call the doctor," she uttered about to get up when he held her hand tightly.

"No, don't."

"They need to know you're awake," she whispered weakly.

"Not yet," he answered. "I promise, I'm okay."

"You collapsed."

"Yes, but all the tests came back negative right?"

"How'd you know that?" she asked with a frown.

"Because I got checked out, it's all fine up there Felicity," he replied tapping his head. "It's all normal, they think it might be stress."

"Oh," she replied instantly looking down. The guilt and shame gnawing at her.

"Hey, that isn't your fault," he whispered tugging at her hand. She gave him a sad smile. "Where's Thea?"

"She stepped out, called everyone and obviously controlling the event from afar."

"Oh S.T.A.R labs," he mumbled with a sad glint in his eye. "You should probably get back," he added letting go of her hand and sitting a little straighter.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," she answered.

"Thank you, but I'm not your problem anymore."

"You aren't a problem," she responded with a frown.

"You know what I mean," he replied with a wave of his hand. He covered his eyes with his arm.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked still completely concerned.

"Yes," he answered looking at her. "But seriously Felicity, I don't want to ruin your evening."

"You aren't," she replied fidgeting slightly as the baby started to move. She saw him staring down at her bump, his finger and thumb running together in a nervous twitch.

"You're pregnant," he said, not pointing it out but as if trying to wrap his head around that.

"Yes," she whispered waiting for him to say something. She watched as a flicker of sadness spread across his face, before he took a deep breath his face falling neutral.

"I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world," he responded and she frowned deeply.

"What?" she answered with a shake of her head.

"I saw you at the party," he whispered, "and I… I don't blame you. I have been downright awful to you at times, and I can not be angry for pushing you into seeking comfort elsewhere." She blinked rapidly at the clear implication in his voice. He thought she'd cheated on him. He hadn't even considered that she could be pregnant by him and that made her heart shatter even more. She took a shaky breath. She couldn't even be angry, because she knew that lying about the pregnancy was a lot worse than what he had assumed.

"I'm so sorry," she answered unable to stop the tears. She looked up to see the tears in his eyes. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I didn't either," he whispered with a sadness that broke her heart.  
They sat there a little while neither saying anything before she made to get up. "You know all that matters to me is your happiness right?" she asked standing in front of him.

"I know," he answered. "Are you happy too?" he asked in return.

Instantly her hand flew to her bump where the baby kicked. "Ouufff," she moaned.

"Are you okay?" he asked sitting up his hand reaching out but stopping as if he realised he wasn't allowed to touch her. Instantly she grasped his hand, placing it over her belly right at the spot the baby was moving.

"Wow," he whispered. His whole face lit up in pure awe and surprise.

"I think he likes your voice," she answered.

"He?" he asked.

"I don't know, I keep calling it he," she replied with a shrug. Oliver merely nodded in response as he pulled his hand away slowly. He stared down, not looking at her as she picked up her purse and walked to the foot of the bed. "Oliver?" she whispered suddenly remembering.

"Yes?"

"Who's Megan?"

He blinked several times completely a taken back by the question. "I don't know."

"You said her name," she added not wanting to push him.

"Someone I keep seeing," he rushed out and Felicity felt her heart fracturing. She wondered if he was remembering her, but it turned out he was actually with someone else. "I have since I woke up, dreams, day dreams… always the dark hair and purple lips."

"Oh," she answered stunned to hear the truth. He didn't remember her, not as Felicity, not at QC but he could remembered her old look.

"Why do you know her?" he asked, no emotion playing on his face.

She shook her head, completely unable to control her emotions anymore. "I… I should be going," she whispered.

"Of course," he answered. "Thank you Felicity, for everything."

She nodded once more before heading to the door. She grabbed the handle about to open it when she blurted out. "I'll always love you, I'll always look back at all this and be happy with what we had." She took a deep breath. "I need you to know, I want you to be so happy, Oliver. I want you to just do whatever you want and be whoever you want. Continue to get help, and grow, and maybe one day fall in love." She didn't stop the tears as she spoke. "Get married again, have a family all of you own with someone… with someone special who you love," she swallowed. "But I think it's clear our marriage is over."

"Felicity."

"I'm just sorry that I put you through all of this, I should have done it from the start." She swiped at her tears as he sat there with his own. She took a shaky breath, closing her eyes to try to compose herself.

"Felicity you don't have to do this," he whispered.

"I do, I have caused you enough stress and pain, without adding more with a marriage you don't want, or need."

"I… I want you to be happy too," he rushed out quickly. "I can go on knowing your happy, I don't want to have caused you so much pain and sorrow."

"I feel the same Oliver," she answered sorrowfully. "I think… it's time to move on," she sobbed not meaning a single word.

"You deserve so much Felicity," he uttered, "so much more than what I can offer you."

"You would have been enough," she mumbled, under her breath so he couldn't hear her. "I'll miss you so much," she cried. "But I need to walk away now, for both our sakes." He merely nodded in response with his own tears falling.

"Goodbye Oliver," she whimpered as she rushed out the room.

She didn't turn back, didn't glance in his direction as she left him sat on the bed. If she had she'd have heard him mumble. "Goodbye Overwatch, goodbye Megan." As he let himself fall apart too.


	13. Memory Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Thank you all for the lovely birthday messages! Now I apologise for leaving that where I did, but things should at least start to seem a little more hopeful over the next few chapters (it’s me there is still sad things too) but this is dedicated to the birthday of a dear friend @fangirlfromthenorthcountry Happy Birthday, hopefully this makes us for at least a little of what I did last week…

4 weeks later

Oliver tossed and turned his mind a jumbled mess. He couldn't settle, he couldn't think, and he certainly couldn't get comfortable. He'd been like it all night and the clock seemed to torment him with it's slow moving numbers. 3.33am. With a deep sigh he threw the covers off and stood up, before he left the room, pausing just outside to look on her room. Their room. He'd moved back into their house weeks ago, feeling he needed to take control over his own life once more, meaning his own space and not living with his mother.

He stood quietly staring at the door wishing beyond belief that Felicity was behind it. He closed his eyes and all he could see was her tear laden face, all he could feel was her baby moving under his finger tips and how much he wished he'd begged her to stay. He opened his eyes forcing his emotions back down with a shuddery breath.

He walked down the stairs, the house so silent as he made his way to the gym. He'd found himself drawn to it more and more lately, working out almost daily like a ritual that eased his wary mind. He did everything automatically, as he turned on the lights heading straight for the treadmill. He tapped in his desired speed, before jumping on. He started to run as he stared at the mirror in front of him, thinking of the events that had happened only hours earlier.

* * *

_Oliver stood in the hallway of the maternity ward. He looked around, the walls and staff seemingly oddly familiar. He frowned as he pictured being here with Felicity. He shook his head trying to place if it was his wishful thinking or a memory.  
_

_"Ollie, man what are you doing?" Tommy called from an open door.  
_

_"This place seems familiar," he voiced as Tommy strode towards him.  
_

_"Well that's probably because you've been here with Felicity."  
_

_"I have."  
_

_"Yes, Laurel and Felicity share the same gynaecologist," he answered with a shrug._

_Oliver just nodded as Tommy directed him down the hallway. "But why would I be here."  
_

_"Beats me, I mean you were a dutiable husband so you could have been for an appointment with her," he said with shrug.  
_

_"Oh, okay," he answered still frowning.  
_

_"Now come on and meet my son," he added with a gleeful smile and a pat to Oliver's shoulder.  
_

_"Of course." He answered as they stepped into the room. Tommy went first, heading straight to Laurel's bedside. She was lay there with a beautiful baby wrapped in blue blankets in her arms. Oliver blinked several times, the scene before him morphing into one of Felicity and him. He swallowed hard trying to get that imagery to fade.  
_

_"Are you going to come and hold your godson?" Laurel asked softly.  
_

_"Godson?" he replied stunned.  
_

_"Well who else would we ask?" Tommy responded with a beaming grin.  
_

_"I just, I thought after everything... I mean I'm not Beccas."  
_

_"Wait, you remember that?" Laurel asked looking up at him.  
_

_He ran a hand at the back of his neck as he stepped closer. "I guess."  
_

_"Well that's great buddy!" Tommy replied enthusiastically.  
_

_"Yes it really is Oliver! Have you told anyone else?"  
_

_"I don't remember a lot of things, just random bits and pieces," he commented off_ _hand. "Anyway, we're here to celebrate the birth of this little guy," Oliver said changing the topic.  
_

_"Here." Laurel offered holding him towards his outstretched arms. "Remember-"  
_

_"To support the head. I know," he answered with a knowing smile and she merely smiled in return as he held him close to his chest.  
_

_Oliver gazed down at him, his eyes were closed as he squirmed a little to get comfy. "He's so tiny," he whispered.  
_

_"Yeh," Tommy answered as Oliver just got lost in the moment. He cooed over him, as he ran his finger over his tiny ones. They wrapped around his large one like a vice and he couldn't believe the sheer strength in something so small and vulnerable. He swallowed thickly as he once again thought of Felicity, thought of her being pregnant and doing all this with someone who wasn't him. He felt the emotions swirling inside his chest. He stared at the baby, completely swept up in everything.  
_

_"Hey are you okay?" He felt Laurels hand on his arm and instantly his eyes landed on hers. Her brow was knitted as she frowned at him.  
_

_"Sorry, I was just... I dunno," he whispered staring back at him. He felt a pain, a pain long forgotten strike him. He closed his eyes briefly trying to control it. "He's gorgeous guys, he really is," he added, handing him gently back to his mom.  
_

_"Are you sure you're okay?" Tommy asked coming towards him.  
_

_Oliver took a shaky breath. "I'm okay. He's perfect. Congratulations," he answered quickly.  
_

_"Thank you," Laurel added with a smile. "And we still want you as godfather."  
_

_"If you're certain, I'd love to," he answered.  
_

_"And we've asked Felicity to be godmother," she added.  
_

_"We just thought you ought to know."  
_

_"That won't be a problem," he replied, trying hard to ignore the growing pain and despair. "Anyway, it's really late, you've had a long day and night. You deserve some sleep before you have to go home."  
_

_"Well my dad's got Becca, and I think we're too excited to sleep," Laurel answered hugging her baby tightly.  
_

_"Has he got a name?" he found himself asking.  
_

_"No, not yet," Tommy answered. "But he will soon."  
_

_"Okay, well I'll leave you to it."  
_

_"You don't have to rush off," Laurel answered catching his wrist, where he looked down to see himself rubbing his finger and thumb together.  
_

_"No, no it's fine. Enjoy it all. I'll see you guys soon," he answered rushing out the room. He didn't look where he was going as he collided with someone.  
_

_"Oh I'm sorry, I should have been looking- Mr. Queen," Dr Granger replied blinking at him.  
_

_Oliver frowned at her, she looked so familiar. "Do I know you?" he asked. "I'm sorry I'm having some memory problems."  
_

_"Ah yes, I had heard about your accident. I am so sorry."  
_

_"Errmm thank you," he answered.  
_

_"Are you okay? You're looking a little pale?" she asked.  
_

_"I was just visiting my friends." He pointed to the room behind him.  
_

_"Ah, the Merlyns, of course," she answered. "But that didn't answer my question."  
_

_"I... I just... something feels wrong," he whispered looking down.  
_

_"What with?" she asked genuinely seeming interested.  
_

_"Being here," he answered, finding himself easily opening up to the strange doctor._ _"Something feels painful, like something happened here, something bad," he added before looking up at her. "I'm sorry, you don't need to deal with this you have many patients here, your actual patients, not me-"  
_

_"No, Mr Queen, it's quite alright," she interrupted him. "But maybe you should talk to your wife," she suggested. "She could explain all these feelings."  
_

_"Something happened to her here..." he mused out loud. "To us," he clarified, remembering being her, holding her hand whilst also petrified.  
_

_"As I say, talk to her," she encouraged. "She has a lot of answers." He merely nodded at her before walking away aimlessly down the corridor._

* * *

Oliver ran harder, as he willed himself to figure this out, willed himself to remember something, anything in relation to the confusion he'd felt in the hospital. He kept running and running, until he nearly fell from the treadmill as a memory that had been forgotten came flooding back. He blinked remembering Samantha, remembering the baby never to be, and how it felt deep inside. He took a breath as if reliving the pain. He practically jumped from the treadmill as he stared at his reflection as another memory came rushing through his mind, another memory more painful than the last tearing at his heart.

_"I'm pregnant," Felicity said. "And I'm keeping it. But I don't expect anything from you, I don't expect any form of commitment in any way, nothing," she said with sad tilt.  
_

_"Oliver... I'm... I'm bleeding," she uttered with a panicked expression.  
_

_"I'm sorry, but there is nothing more we can do."_

He doubled over, feeling nauseas as the memory made it feel like there was a hole in his chest. He tried to breathe slowly but it came out in shudders as the reality of the situation hit him. They had lost a baby, he and Felicity, they were meant to be parents but that wasn't how it happened.

He urgently pulled himself up, heading upstairs in a dazed state. He took deep breaths over and over, trying hopelessly to calm his heightened senses as he grasped the phone off the side. He had to speak to her, he had to talk to Felicity. His hand shook as he desperately tried to press the right buttons, and suddenly a loud knock came to the door. He froze in place, his whole body ceasing as the knock came again. He turned his head towards it. He didn't think as he walked over to it, unlocking it and pulling it open.

"Mr Oliver Queen?" The smartly dressed man asked.

Oliver blinked staring at him, the sky was still dark at the early hour. "Yes?" he finally replied when he trusted his own voice.

Swiftly he pulled an envelope from behind his back. "You've been served." He placed it in his hand before rushing off.

"Wait what is this?" Oliver called but the man disappeared down the street. He stood staring at the brown envelope, tentatively opening it. His eyes widened, his heart hammering in his chest as he saw the first few lines of the documents. He slowly backed into the house, his whole world falling apart around him.

* * *

Thea opened the door with a soft sigh. She was missing her honeymoon, the blissful sun and peace of Bali, that Oliver and Felicity had recommended all that time ago. She went to enter the code for the alarm when she noticed it hadn't been armed. She froze in place when she heard the music blaring out from the kitchen. She blinked. She'd arranged to meet Diggle and Tommy at the restaurant to discuss Oliver and all the businesses, but she doubted any of those would be in the kitchen playing music.

She tentatively made her way in that direction, as she stepped in she turned the music down a little, stunned by the scene in front of her.

"Ollie?" she asked as he turned towards her.

"Thea, what are you doing here?"

"I check in," she mumbled. "But what are you doing here?" she asked looking at the clean pots stacked beside him.

"I was cooking," he answered with a shrug.

"Wait, are you the reason we've been running out of stuff more quickly these last couple of weeks?" she asked stepping closer.

"Oh, yes sorry I didn't really think about that," he replied throwing the towel over his shoulder.

"But you're cooking," she whispered a little stunned.

"I am," he answered clearly waiting for her to say more.

"Why?"

He shrugged in response. "It helps."

"With what?"

"I dunno, it calms me. I feel less stressed and more at ease here."

"But you can cook?" she asked completely stunned.

"Yes," he repeated. "I can remember some bits and pieces."

"What?!" she exclaimed in utter shock. "You're remembering things?"

He sighed, not meeting her eyes looking completely broken. "I am, some bits and bobs. Random pieces."

"Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell someone?" she asked softly, stepping right beside him.

"There's nothing to tell," he replied with a shrug.

"You're remembering! That is everything to tell!" she replied excitedly touching his arm. "You're in your restaurant, cooking, and remembering!"

"I love the enthusiasm Speedy, but it's too late."

"What's too late?" she asked with a frown.

"Me, this." He gestured.

"It's never too late for anything Ollie," she answered squeezing his arm briefly.

He sighed heavily, his head dropping to touch his chest. "I don't think-" He stopped mid sentence as the alarm blared at the side of him. She watched as he turned from her pulling what looked like a chocolate cake from the oven. The aroma of mint reached her as he removed the cake from the tin with such practised ease. He set it aside to cool before he turned back to her.

"Mint choc chip?" she asked tilting her head towards the cake.

He looked so sad as he stood there before her searching for the words. "Yes," he replied simply.

"Why that? Of all the things to make, why that?" He merely shrugged in response not looking at her, as he busied himself with putting things away. "Oh no, you don't get to close yourself off now."

"I'm not," he grumbled.

"Oliver just stop!" she snapped and he did. He looked at her with his arms by his side. "Just talk to me." His thumb and finger rubbed together frantically as he looked as if he was debating whether to or not. "Please," she pleaded.

Instantly his shoulders slumped and his head dropped to his chest. "I baked it because I remember it," he answered. "I've been remembering how to cook, and wanting to more and more lately. But today, I just... I remembered that." He gestured to the cake.

"Because of Felicity?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied with a sad sigh. "I remember all her favourite foods, but that cake, I created it specifically for her."

"I know," she answered.

"But you don't know why," he mumbled. Thea stayed quiet as she thought back to the first time he made the cake, and it hit her suddenly that it had been when she was pregnant, when no one was meant to know.

"Then tell me," she pushed. "Tell me what's going on."

He turned his back towards her pulling a draw open and taking something out. "She sent me this." He opened the envelope turning it upside down on the surface. She froze in place as a paper document slipped out, 3 small clinks following it as she took in the 2 wedding bands and the engagement ring.

Her eyes scanned the document. "She wants a divorce?"

"She's letting me go," he whispered as his eyes never left the rings. "She's leaving me everything. The house, and everything in it, the restaurant, and the rings. She just wants to keep Smoak Technologies."

"That's..." Thea struggled to find the words.

"Who am I to stop her? Felicity is happy, with another man, starting her own family."

"Wait, she's with another man?"

"Yes, from the party at S.T.A.R labs," he answered with a glum expression.

"What man?" she asked trying to remember who Felicity had been with.

"I don't know, he was tall, had that boyish charm look about him."

"Short brown hair? Quite skinny?" she offered.

"Yes."

"Barry Allen?" she asked unable to hide her laugh.

"I dunno." He shrugged. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because Barry is engaged to Iris and as if Felicity would ever go for him." She rummaged in her pocket pulling out her phone searching for a photo before showing it to him. "Is that him?"

"Yes, he kissed her on the cheek and had his hand on her belly."

Thea swallowed hard at the pure sadness in his tone. "That's Barry, and he's engaged to Iris. They were childhood sweethearts," she answered. "Felicity isn't with him, and never would be."

"But she's pregnant, and wants a divorce," he added staring at her as if that was explanation enough. "So it doesn't matter anyway."

"But what do you want?" Thea asked.

He looked down and picked up his wedding band. "It doesn't matter what I want Thea. I won't destroy this for her."

"Destroy what exactly?" she asked.

"A chance at a family."

"But what if it isn't a family? What if the father isn't around?"

"It doesn't matter," he answered with a sad sigh. "I can't affect her happiness."

"But what if you make her happy?"

"I make her so happy she wants a divorce," he said in a derogatory manner with a dry laugh.

"Stop it!" she snapped. "She is divorcing you because she thinks it's what you want. She is letting you go, to do everything you want because you can't remember her, you can't remember anything about her-"

"I remember some! I remember meeting her, I remember her favourite foods, I remember building our home and this restaurant! I remember the pain I have put her through since the accident, and I remember what our parents did to her all those years ago! I remember what she had to lose, what she has lost just from being with me, and mostly I remember that look of disappoint and heartbreak I caused not remembering her enough."

Thea shook her head in disbelief. "If you remember all of this, why aren't you fighting for her?" she asked simple.

"Why would I? She's better off without me."

"God you're such an idiot!" she snapped with a frustrated groan. "SHE LOVES YOU!"

He sighed heavily picking up the other rings and holding them in his hand. "I know," he whispered.

"Is this because the baby isn't yours? Is that this is about?" she asked it needing to understand his thinking.

He looked up at her in utter disgust. "No, of course not," he mumbled. "She... she will be an amazing mother and her child will be as beautiful as she is."

"So what? You aren't prepared to sacrifice yourself for them? You aren't prepared to even try?" He shrugged his shoulders. "God you're more like Ollie than I even feared."

"Excuse me?" he asked clearly taken a back.

"Oh you heard me," she answered sharply. "First sign of commitment or anything being remotely hard and you bail."

The anger was very apparent on his face as he let her worlds wash over him. "I'm not," he said through gritted teeth.

"Well that's what it looks like from here," she retorted with a dramatic shrug, pushing him hard for a reaction. "Do you even love her? Do you even want her to be happy-"

"OF COURSE I LOVE HER!" he shouted back. "I have never loved anyone the way I love her. God, I felt her baby move once under my touch and I love that thing too, because it's a part of her!" He sighed rubbing a hand down his face. "And that's why I can't stop this, because of the baby."

"Why?" Thea pushed.

"Thea..."

"No come on. Why? What's the baby got to do with anything? What's the cake? What is holding you back?"

"Because we lost our baby," he rushed out clearly in hope to stop her. He stared at her hard clearly waiting for some form of confused reaction.

"Finally!" she declared throwing her hands in the air.

"What just happened?" he mumbled in utter puzzlement.

"I know," Thea answered. "She told me."

"Wait, she did? When?" he asked completely flummoxed.

"A while ago," she replied. "But not when you were together. She was scared, and she needed someone to talk to-"

"And she couldn't talk to me," he surmised, his brain clearly kicking into overdrive. "She must have been so scared, doing this all alone with the fear of the past recurring and me not being there," he mumbled more to himself.

"She was scared of your future," Thea added with a sad smile. "Everything you had been doing proved you didn't want a future with her, and so she gave you a reasonable out."

"I... I didn't..."

"You two really need to sit down and figure your shit out," Thea grumbled with an exasperated sigh. "You need to tell her what you want, and I'm pretty sure from your reaction it isn't a divorce."

"But I can't force what I want on her."

"No, that's not what I'm saying," she answered with a shake of her head. "You need to give her the choice, she deserves the options but only if you're 100% all in, Oliver."

"Of course I'm all in now. I remember who I am, and that's why I'm scared. What I did to her was unforgivable, how I've behaved and acted with the memory loss is disgusting-"

"But she understands," Thea answered. "We all did."

"No, you need to stop excusing it. I was horrible-"

"Yes you were." Both their heads snapped up as Diggle stepped into the room. "You were dreadful, you treated us all like crap and revert back so hard, it was honestly heart breaking to watch."

"See," Oliver replied waving his hand at Diggle.

"Butâ€¦" Thea raised her eyebrow at Oliver crossing her arms over her chest as Diggle continued. "Felicity loves you, we all do man. So time to get your head out your ass, and decide what you want."

"But it isn't that simple," he mumbled.

"Yes it is," Diggle answered. "Your wife has been waiting for you to come back, and this man right here is more that man than what we have seen in the last like 7 months."

"Exactly," Thea added waving her arms around. "Thank you Dig."

"I understand what you're saying but-"

"I swear if you say but one more time I will hurt you," she said in exasperation.

"Oliver, listen," Dig started stepping closer. "We can't even remotely pretend to know what you've been through. You're getting help, you're clearly remembering things, you feel guilty, and you want Felicity to be happy, and all that shows how much you've grown." Oliver nodded along. "But you need to realise, and hopefully remember; Felicity chose you. She has always chose you, just like you chose her. So for all our sakes, finally go and choose her again." Oliver pushed his hands in his pockets as he seemed to mull over the words.

"I get you want her to be happy, but has she actually ever told you she's happy without you?" Thea added quickly and she could see his brow crease as he thought. "Because the woman that came out of your hospital room 4 weeks ago looked completely broken." His head shot up, his eyes going wide as he looked at her.

"I think Thea is right. You two really need to sit in a room and just talk it all out," Diggle replied with a shrug. "That or we'll have to lock you in somewhere, but I think it's better it's your choice."

"So you all think that she's giving me an out? That she's not actually happy, that she is pretending for my sake?" he asked processing it.

"You told me you remember some of the past," Thea said stepping closer. "You remember the cake." She directed, trying to get him to understand what she was talking about without saying it in front of Diggle.

"Yes?" he asked frowning slightly.

"Well you said you remembered it all, the pain, and loss." He nodded his eyes completely on her. "Do you remember after?"

"After?" he whispered seeming completely lost.

"When she gave you an out? She was letting you go?"

His eyes widened as he remembered and nodded. "I do, I remember thatâ€¦"

"She is doing the exact same thing now," she replied. "She's petrified Oliver, just as you have been since the accident and she is doing the same thing as you, just differently."

"She's pushing the ones she cares about most, away," he mumbled as he finally realised.

"Exactly," Thea answered unable to hide her smile.

"I need to find her," he replied. "I need to stop this divorce, I want to be with her and I want to have a family with her. I want all of it, good and bad."

"Finally!" Diggle answered despite himself.

"Do you guys know where she is?" he asked looking between them.

"Last I heard she had gone on holiday," Diggle answered with a shrug. "Sorry, man."

"Thea?" he asked quickly.

"I don't know Ollie, I haven't heard from her since the hospital."

"I need to find her," he responded.

"I shouldn't be saying this, but maybe you should speak to mom and dad," Thea offered meekly. "They have a lot of resources at their disposal, and I know moms trying her hardest to make up for things."

"You're right!" he exclaimed grabbing his jacket from off a counter. "You guys can have the cake," he rushed out, practically running to the doors. "Oh and thank you, both of you."

"Our pleasure," Thea shouted as he ran from the restaurant.

"That boy is so stupid," Diggle answered crossing his arms over his chest.

"What?" Thea asked turning to look at him.

"Oh don't play coy, we both know that Felicity is pregnant with their child."

"How did you-"

"Because neither him nor her could ever cheat on the other one," he answered simply. "So either he's incredibly stupid or just blind to the truth."

"Both." Thea mumbled with a shrug. "Definitely both."


	14. All In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: As always thank you so much for the support… I do apologise for the feels in this but I hope it also gives you the “hope” you need. I do want to start off my saying that after this chapter I am unsure when the next chapter will be posted. Work is crazy busy over the next week (except this Wednesday but the other chapters aren’t even ready yet), so another update probably wont be until next week sometime, however this ending should at least make the wait more bearable. So thank you, and I hope you enjoy :) x

2 weeks later

"So you're working for Ray?" Barry asked her as he helped with her boxes in his spare room.

"Yes, no... it's complicated," Felicity answered.

"You know when you asked me if you could stay all those months ago, I kind of expected you'd actually have been here more," he mumbled. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a hand on her hip. "Don't give me that look."

"I do not wish to be a burden to you or Iris, Barry."

"You could never be that," he answered.

"Well I've been busy. I've been travelling and relaxing, and working."

"I know, everyone wants you all over the world," he replied with a giant grin.

"It has felt that way," she mumbled rubbing her hand over her belly. "But I needed as much money as I could muster for this little one."

"I know," he replied. "But I told you, you are more than welcome to raise your baby here."

"I am not raising my baby with a soon to be married couple," she replied. "I love you guys, you, Iris, Caitlin, Ronnie, Cisco... everyone. But I can't put that type of pressure on you."

"So instead you're going to move to Seattle?" he asked moving the boxes into a pile in the corner.

"I need to stay in one place for awhile," she answered. "And Ray asked me to help him more with Palmer Tech."

"Yeh but we both know you don't have to be there to do it," he pointed out.

"Look Barry, I know you guys think I should stay here or go back to Star City, but I can't," she whispered. "I need a full fresh start."

"I understand," he answered, giving her that sad puppy dog look. "I know you've been travelling because you haven't wanted to stop, I know you could easily have done most of your work from right here but you just didn't want to."

"I couldn't," she answered truthfully. "If I stopped it would be real."

She looked up at him to see him staring at her. "But it is real. Whether you want to face it here or somewhere else, you're going to have a baby. You're divorcing your husband, and whether you admit it or not, the heartbreak is clear as day on your face."

"Barry," she whimpered feeling her bottom lip quiver. "I can't..." She turned away from him trying to control her emotions. He was right, of course he was, but hearing someone else say it seemed to make it worse.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want you to realise that you're basically doing it alone if you move to Seattle," he added quickly.

"Maybe it's better that way," she answered.

She turned around to look at him just as a loud bang came to the door. "I wonder who that is?" Barry mused out loud as Felicity shrugged her shoulders.

"No idea, movers aren't coming until tomorrow," she answered.

"Well I better go check," he said pointing towards the door and leaving her room.

She took a deep breath as she looked down at the few personal belongings she'd actually unpacked from her possessions. But she wasn't really looking at them, but rather her hand, and the bands that were missing.

"Felicity!" She heard Barry calling.

"I'm coming!" she shouted back, basically plodding towards the open space of the loft. "Give me a minute remember I'm pregnant and I can't move as qui-" She stopped dead in her tracks as she took in the sight before her. Barry was stood there with a shit eating grin, as Oliver stood beside him. His hair was short, and his jaw littered in his stubbled beard. He was wearing jeans and a leather jacket. He was clearly working out again as the material pulled around his muscles. She swallowed thickly shaking her head as she felt a blush creep up her face.

"Felicity," Oliver practically whispered, a small smile spreading across his face.

She felt her heart flutter, he looked like her husband, like how she remembered him from before the accident. "Oliver what are you doing here?" she asked with a frown.

"I wanted to talk," he replied with a shrug. "But you are a very hard woman to track down."

"I'll bet," Barry mumbled.

"Barry!" she scolded with a glare.

"Oh, so you're Barry," Oliver added quickly turning to him with his hand held out.

"Barry Allen," he replied taking his hand and shaking it. "I guess you don't remember me?"

"No, I'm sorry I don't," he answered with an almost sad glint and Felicity found herself feeling a wave of disappointment.

"That's okay. I'm sure there are things about me you don't want to remember anyway," Barry joked lamely and she sighed as Oliver looked completely baffled.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Oh you know, me and Felicity and our closeness that you got jealou-"

"Barry!" she used her loud voice once again as Oliver glared at him.

"Right, I should leave you guys to it," he rambled quickly grabbing his coat and keys. "I'll go visit Iris at work and get some lunch, so you guys will have this place to yourselves for a few hours."

"It was nice to meet you," Oliver called as he left them alone.

The silence stretched on as he stood looking around the place. "What did you mean I was hard to track down?" she asked tilting her head.

"I tried to find you," he answered. "In the end, my parents PI tracked you to Gotham, then Seattle before finally turning up here yesterday."

"Wait? Your parents PI?" she asked unable to stop the puzzled look on her face.

"They wanted to help," he answered with a shrug.

"And why go to all that trouble?"

"I wanted to talk in person, and truthfully after I received the divorce papers I wasn't 100% certain you'd answer my call."

She rolled her eyes at him. "So rather than call you used your parents resources?" she asked with a shake of her head.

"No, I contacted all our friends. None of them had heard from you, I contacted S.T.A.R labs who had no idea where you were," he admitted. "Then I went to my parents on Thea's advice."

"Thea suggested that?" she asked a little stunned.

"Yes, she's been going to therapy too," he answered with a little smile.

"Good," she answered unable to hide the pride her in voice. He looked up at her shuffling on his feet. "Why did you want to talk Oliver?"

"Because we don't seem to be able to have a completely honest conversation," he replied with a shrug and she couldn't help but cross her arms on top of her bump, tilting her head at him.

"In what way?"

"We keep thinking we're doing the right thing for the other person, but I'm starting to think we aren't," he answered taking a step closer.

"I'm not sure I follow," she replied.

"Are you happy Felicity?" he asked. "Are you genuinely happy living here? Raising your baby here with a couple?"

"I... I'm happy... enough," she answered. "And I won't be here for much longer, anyway."

"What do you mean?" he asked looking genuinely confused.

"I'm leaving Oliver," she replied releasing her arms. "I'm moving away, I want a fresh start."

"Away from me, you mean?" he asked.

"Truthfully, seeing your face randomly in articles at events with a different woman on your arm hasn't exactly helped-"

"You know what those galas are like. I didn't date any of them, they were just guests too, I wasn't with any of those women-"

"You can do as you please Oliver, we're separated," she answered, trying her hardest to keep her voice neutral.

"No," he replied almost instantly.

"Excuse me?" she asked blinking rapidly at him.

"No, I can't do as I please because you are my wife Felicity," he replied and she couldn't help but laugh.

"I am not your possession."

"Of course not, that's not what I meant," he replied stumbling over his words. "I respect you, I always have and I know, I know how bad I am but I don't want to give up on our marriage."

"You do realise that nothing has changed right?" she asked standing there trying to control herself.

"I'm getting help, a lot of it, and I realised I care about you, a lot."

"But I'm pregnant Oliver, this isn't something you can just pick and choose. It's a package deal."

"Then I'll take it," he mumbled and she laughed dryly.

"Seriously, you don't need to do this," she answered waving her hand up. "You have no obligation to me or the baby, and I don't want to force you into a life with us-"

"Stop it!" he snapped angrily and she glared at him. "Stop trying to make decisions for me, stop saying things like that, that you're forcing my hand."

"What am I meant to think?" she snapped back. "I left, I walked away and you didn't seem that bothered, now suddenly you're here?"

"I am fighting for us."

"And I'm tired of fighting for us," she replied with a deep sigh. "You have no idea what it's like to look at the man you love and him stare at you blankly, that he remembers nothing about you, let alone your life together."

"Felicity-"

"No okay? I'm having a baby-"

"I know, and I want that with you," he shouted stopping her dead in her tracks.

"What?"

"Just listen," he pleaded and she gave a sharp nod for him to continue. She rubbed at her belly feeling a small twinge. "I'm starting to get my life together, I'm starting to be a part of the businesses and starting to cook again, I'm back in our old house, and I realised I'm miserable."

"You're miserable?" she whispered completely confused.

"Yes because something was missing, rather someone."

"Who?"

"You," he answered rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. "I realised for as far as I had come, none of it seemed to matter when all I wanted was to share it all with you. All I kept thinking about was you, about us living in our home. Together."

"But..." she muttered rubbing her belly and she watched his eyes flicker down to it.

"I would adore that child, because it is a part of you," he replied. "I adored it the moment I felt it moving under my palm," he added.

"Oliver..."

"I don't want a divorce Felicity, I don't want you to leave, nor do I want you to raise that baby alone. I want you, the both of you."

She swallowed thickly unable to look away from him. His eyes shined brightly and she saw no waver in his conviction. "It... it isn't that simple," she mumbled in response rubbing her belly, starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Why can't it be? Why can't I simply want to be with the woman I love and her child?" he asked with a small shrug.

"Wait." She blinked rapidly unsure as to what she had just heard. "You... you love me?" she murmured.

His cheeks blushed as he averted his eyes looking almost like a startled teenager. "I want this Felicity. I swear to you. You are my always and I just want a chance to be yours... again."

She felt the tears threatening to spill as his words hit her. "Oliver, they're just words," she mumbled. "Your actions these last few months haven't exactly-" She stopped mid-sentence when an intense pain rippled from her stomach. "Arrgggghhhh." She clutched her stomach as she bent over.

"Felicity?" Oliver rushed to her side instantly wrapping his arm around her and placing his hand over hers on her bump.

"Something doesn't feel right," she answered unable to hide the fear from her voice as the pain subsided and she stood straighter.

"Okay, we'll go to the hospital," he replied letting her take hold of his hand.

She couldn't help but hold on to him as the feeling of fear overtook her completely. "Oliver," she whimpered.

"I'm here," he answered wrapping his other arm around her for support. "And I'm not going anywhere." He lead them to the door as Felicity tried to calm her racing heart.

* * *

Felicity held on to Oliver's hand tightly, completely panicked. She was strapped to a machine measuring the baby's heartrate and Oliver had done nothing but reassure her. He had not left her side as they rushed to the hospital, as the nurses decided to run some checks and monitored her.

"It's okay," Oliver mumbled as she sat silently. "It'll be okay."

She glanced to him to see him staring at her. "How can you possibly say that?"

"Because you've come this far," he answered holding her hand tightly. "It's so much longer than before." Her eyes widened and her jaw opened, her mind raising at the words he had just said.

"Mrs Queen." The door opened before she had a chance to say anything.  
Both turned their heads up as the familiar voice reached their ears. "Doctor Granger?" Felicity asked blinking. "What are you doing in Central City?"

"I was covering for the day," she replied with a tender smile, walking over to the monitor. "Nice to see you again Mr Queen."

"You too," he answered looking down as Felicity glanced between the two.

"I see you took my advice?" she replied off hand.

"Trying to," he mumbled.

"Ah, I see," she answered checking the machine before stepping closer to Felicity. "Everything is absolutely fine."

"Are you sure?" Felicity asked unable to hide the tremor in her voice.

"Babies heartbeat is strong and you are not having contractions."

"Then what was happening?" Oliver asked first.

"It was braxton hicks, false labour," she answered.

"But the pain."

"Was the tightening of your uterus. It's to get you ready for labour," she encouraged as she removed the equipment.

"But..." Felicity failed to find the words as she slipped her hand from Oliver's grasp.

"It is perfectly normal, and you had no idea. It was better to be safe than sorry," she answered.

"Exactly," Oliver replied smiling tenderly. "You and the baby are what matter most," he added quickly.

"How about we do an ultrasound?" Doctor Granger suggested. "Then dad can see the baby, and you both can be reassured."

"I'm not the father," Oliver added quickly, unable to hide the sadness in his tone as Felicity fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Oh," Dr Granger replied a little shocked. "Well let me just grab the machine." She walked to the other side wheeling it over to them. Felicity did the usual pulling her top up and trousers down. Dr Granger squirted jelly onto her belly and she shivered at the coolness. She didn't dare look at Oliver as she placed the equipment onto her belly searching for a good image of their baby.

"Oh wow," she heard Oliver mumbled from beside her when the image became clear. Felicity could feel the tears sting at the back of her eyes and her throat dry up as their baby wiggled on the screen.

"And that flickering you see there," Doctor Granger started, pointing towards the centre of the baby's chest. "That is your baby's heart and it's beating. They're a strong one," she added with a smile.

Felicity dared to glance at Oliver who had clear tears in his eyes as he stared at the monitor intently. "Can we have photos?" he asked and Felicity felt her heart beating wildly.

"Of course you can," Dr Granger replied with a grin. "I'll just save it and go get them for you." She tapped the screen a few times handing Felicity a paper towel. She wiped off the jelly before redressing herself.

"Thank you," Oliver said as she left the ultrasound machine beside them.

"I'll just go arrange that for you, and sort your paperwork," Dr Granger said softly, heading towards the door.

"It's beautiful," Oliver whispered.

"And everything's really okay?" Felicity asked before she could leave the room.

"For 30 weeks your baby is doing perfectly," she answered with a smile. "They're exactly the size they should be, everything is progressing well."

"Thank you," Felicity answered feeling the way Oliver's attention changed at the mention of 30 weeks.

"My pleasure, Mrs Queen," she answered as she stepped out.

"30 weeks," he mumbled shaking his head.

"Oliver," she started turning more towards him, "I... I need to tell you the truth." She reached for him and he instantly stood up. He took a few steps back taking deep breathes.

"The baby's mine, isn't it?" he asked and she couldn't help but glance down. "I mean ours, like it's really ours." She nodded her head waiting for him to run, waiting for anger and hurt. What she didn't expect was him to rush forward, to sit beside her on the bed and take her hands on his. A smile spread across his whole face.

"Oliver?" she whispered glancing at his face and their joint hands.

"I don't care," he answered with a joyous laugh. "I don't care that you lied, I don't care that you didn't want to tell me because nothing has changed. I still want you, both of you."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do, when I found out, you were in such a bad place and because of last time-"

"Shhhh," he whispered. "I understand. I truly do. I wasn't myself, and god knows I'm trying desperately to be a man you can be proud of again. But I... I haven't been a hundred percent honest too."

"Huh?" she asked staring into his eyes.

"I can remember things," he whispered.

"What?" she exclaimed unable to hide her smile.

"Just little things, I remember our first meeting. Overwatch."

"You... you remember me?" she stuttered.

He nodded. "I remember little, random things," he whispered. "I remember mint choc chip cake."

"You made that for me."

"I know I did," he answered looking a little nervous. "I didn't know why I kept remembering it so vividly. But the day I went to see Tommy and Laurel, and their son, something felt wrong in that hospital."

"Yes," she uttered.

"And I couldn't remember, and Doctor Granger was there and I didn't know her name. She seemed familiar and she said I should talk to you," he rushed out. "But eventually I remembered on my own."

"Remembered?" she asked needing to hear him say it, needing to hear it.

He pulled one of their joint hands over her bump. "I remember losing our baby," he whispered. "I remember all that pain, and anger. I remembered what happened, how we handled it and how I fought for you after."

She couldn't help but blink as the tears truly stung her eyes. She closed them trying to not let her emotions control her. "I'm sor-"

"No. Never apologise for not sharing that. I wouldn't have been able to give you the support you needed, not without the feelings I remember now. With losing the baby with Samantha, and you." He took a deep breath. "But please don't leave. Don't divorce me."

"Oliver," she whimpered opening her eyes to look at him, unable to stop the tears falling this time.

"I want to be with you, and I want to raise our baby," he answered. "I don't want a divorce, I don't want you to move. I want you to come home with me." She could see the determination in his eyes as a single tear escaped him. "I want to be a father and a husband that you both deserve, but I need another opportunity to be able to do that. But I understand if not, I understand if you can't give me yet another chance. You have given me so many, and I want us, this, I really do, but if you can't forgive me or give me another chance that's okay."

"I..." she mumbled trying to find the words.

"I'm here, and I'm fighting for you. Because this is all I ever wanted, all I ever need but only if you want it too. Otherwise I'll stop, I'll let you be and I will be a father to our baby, and only that."

"I never wanted to take another baby from you," she sobbed. "I was so scared of telling you, of causing you to run but I ran."

"That's okay, you were scared and you must have been so frightened doing this pregnancy without me too. You are the strongest person I know," he whispered squeezing her hands.

"I don't want to divorce you either," she mumbled completely stunned by the shocked look on his face. "I never wanted to, I always thought you didn't want to be married. That you couldn't and didn't want love me again."

"I know and I'm sorry," he answered. "I'm truly sorry I lost my way, that I did what I did, that I turned back into him. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up-"

"No," she replied forcefully. "You lost your memories, you lost all the important events that made you who you were. But you can remember things now, you're getting help, and you're here," she answered holding back a sob. "So I forgive you Oliver."

"You do?" he uttered in such disbelief it made her heart ache.

She pulled her hand out of his reaching up for his cheek before cupping it gently as he leant into her touch. "I do, and if you want us, I'd like to come home and try again."

His eyes widened as her fingers moved against his cheek. "I'd love that," he answered unable to hide his happiness.

"We'll take it one step at a time?"

"Of course, no pressure."

"On either of us," she answered and he nodded with a smile. She took a deep breath allowing the moment of absolute calm and happiness to settle over her. She smiled wide at him as he clearly couldn't hide the joy just radiating from him. She slowly moved her free hand down from his face to his heart; she could feel the rapid thudding under her touch. He squeezed her hand that was resting on her bump, just when the baby started to kick.

"Is that?" he asked staring down at their hands.

"Yes I guess our baby's happy with our decision too." She pulled both his hands up to her belly, letting him feel all the movements.

"Wow," he uttered unable to pull his hands away. "This is amazing. Thank you for telling me the truth."

"Thank you for fighting for us, for being here, and telling the truth too," she answered proudly slipping her hands over his. He looked up at her, his eyes shining in awe, love and admiration. He looked more like the man she married, the man she loved in that moment than she had ever seen in the last several months. She watched as he leant forward, his hands unmoving from her belly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She couldn't help but close her eyes and feel his warm lips against her skin for the first time in a long time. She sighed as he pulled back and placed his forehead on to hers.

"I've missed you," he whispered the moment she opened her eyes.

"I've missed you too," she responded.

"I can't wait for you to come home," he added with a tender smile. All she could do was smile brightly as his eyes sparkled, and she let herself get lost in the moment completely.


	15. Reconnect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: As always thank you so much for the support! This chapter completely got away from me, so it’s a long one! ALSO this is basically an entire chapter of smut, I mean proper full on smutty, NSFW, so I would not recommend reading this in any public place... If you don’t want to read the smut, then I recommend reading to the first break before the flashback... and pick up next chapter (which will be a direct continuation). SO enjoy x

4 weeks later

Oliver smiled happily to himself as he stood up from tightening in the final bolt. The nursery was finally complete. It was done in neutral colours after they didn't ask for the baby's sex. The simple white furniture complimented the room with the cot in the centre. It had taken him nearly 4 weeks to complete, after Felicity agreed to move back in, after they agreed to take things one step at a time, he had insisted on doing this. He had consulted her of course, but she was yet to see the finished product. He smiled to himself as his eyes caught the baby scan from all those weeks ago. One was stood within a frame on the side in the room, whilst the other was in his wallet to never leave his side. He had been trying his best to show Felicity how he felt about her and the baby, without pushing too hard. He wanted them, he wanted to be there in every possible way.

He glanced at the clock showing a little after midnight, knowing Felicity would be asleep. He turned the light off, slowly closing the door to the nursery. He turned around glancing at her door, it was as usual, opened slightly. He could feel his heart tugging to go into that room, to slide under the covers with her and hold his wife and baby in his arms. But he didn't, because he didn't want to rush Felicity into anything. So he slowly made his way to the spare room, he sighed as he pushed the door open.

"OLIVER!" He heard Felicity scream and a shiver ran down his spine.

He spun on his heels swiftly and before he even knew it he was in her room reaching for her as she looked at him in utter panic. "Hey, I'm here," he whispered, his hands reaching for her belly and face. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" he asked looking her up and down.

"I'm... I'm okay," she mumbled, her gaze falling as he ran his thumb over her cheekbone.

"You sure?" he asked softly.

"It was just a nightmare," she uttered.

Slowly he raised his hand from her bump, where their child was going crazy against his palm, to rest it on her other cheek. "It wasn't just anything," he whispered.

"It's okay, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded as he leant forward, her eyes flickering to his lips before they closed. He placed a soft kiss to her forehead. He could feel her breathing even out, a soft sigh escaped her as he pulled back. "Thank you," she supplied as he slipped his hands from her face.

"No problem," he answered with a tender smile. "You try and get some rest," he encouraged and she shuffled a little.

"That is easier said than done when someone's kicking your insides," she replied rubbing her belly with a small grimace.

Oliver didn't even think as he placed his own hands on her belly and leant forward. "Hey little one, it's me, daddy. Now mommy needs to get some sleep. She needs rest, so when the time comes she has all the energy in the world to help bring you to us." He gently caressed her stomach through the material of her nightgown. "So shhhh baby, settle down." He could feel the gentle movements slowing under his palms as he leant forward and placed a kiss to her belly too.

He looked up to see the tears shining in her eyes as a few rolled down her cheeks. "Sorry," she answered swiping them away.

"No need to apologise," he whispered still rubbing his hands gently over her bump.

"I just, you're gonna be such a great father," she mumbled.

"And you'll be a great mother," he answered in kind, unable to hide his smile.

She moved her hands over his, stopping his movement and linking their hands. "Stay."

"Huh?"

"With me, in here tonight?" she asked. "If you want to of course."

"Yes," he replied nodding enthusiastically. "God, yes," he breathed out unable to hide the joy radiating from him.

Felicity smiled back at him, seeming equally as pleased. "Okay," she answered moving her hands, pulling back the covers and allowing him to join her. He didn't even hesitate as he slipped under the sheets. He watched as she rolled onto her side, her legs moving and fidgeting uncomfortably. He grabbed one of the pillows from beside him, reaching over her and slowly slipped it between her legs. "Here, it'll help," he whispered into her ear as she eased her legs gently apart for him. Instantly she seemed to settle.

"Thank you," she answered and he leant back onto the bed staring up at the ceiling. He maintained a small gap between them acutely aware of her body next to his. He could see the moonlight reflecting off her form from the undrawn curtains. He could see her curves as he took deep breaths and tried to avert his gaze fully to the roof.

"Oliver?" she whispered.

"Yes, Felicity?"

"Can... will..." She took a deep breath. "You can hold me you know, you don't have to not touch me. We're married," she whispered. He froze in place as her words sunk in. "I mean you don't have to, not if you don't want-"

Her words stopped the moment he turned fully and basically cocooned her. He placed his chest right up to her spine, curving his legs just behind hers and placed a hand gently around her, resting it on the bump. "I've wanted to do this since you came home," he whispered softly into her ear.

"Then why didn't you?" she asked.

"Because I wasn't sure we were ready, that you wanted that."

"You remember more and more every day Oliver, of course I want to share a bed and touch... and kiss and... do everything with my husband," she answered pushing further into him. He groaned a little, unable to hide his pleasure from just simply holding her.

"Well then starting in the morning, that's what we will do," he replied.

"Good," she whispered back with pure joy.

"Goodnight Felicity," he said softly placing a kiss to the back of her head before burying his face into her hair.

"Goodnight Oliver," she replied as a yawn escaped her.

* * *

_Roughly 4 years ago_

_Oliver sighed as he finally pushed the door open to the apartment. He felt the weight of a long day on his shoulders. The confession of his parents lies and Thea's lineage left him with a headache._

_"Hey," Felicity called out as soon as he stepped in._

_"Hey what are you still doing awake?" he asked as he closed the door behind him. He pulled his tie off dropping it to the floor before removing his jacket too._

_"I know that you probably haven't eaten," she answered tilting her head towards the Chinese boxes spread out on the table. "Tommy called to say you were heading home."_

_He unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt before dropping on the sofa beside her with a deep sigh. "You didn't have to."_

_"I wanted to," she answered as he grabbed a box and began to eat. She poured him a glass of red wine before she too ate._

_They ate in a relative silence, just picking at the shared food and sipping the wine that they continued to top up. "So, how are you doing?" Felicity finally asked when Oliver put his second glass of red wine down._

_"My families basically falling apart," he answered with a sigh turning to look at her._

_"That wasn't what I asked," she replied finishing her own wine._

_"Huh?"_

_"I'm going to go see Thea tomorrow, I already have it arranged," she added gesturing to her phone. "But I want to know how you're handling this Oliver."_

_"I don't know," he answered with a shrug. "My parents marriage is basically a sham, they've lied to us our whole lives and I," he couldn't hide his grimace, "slept with the same woman as my father."_

_"I'm sorry," she whispered reaching for his hand. "Really Oliver."_

_"Well you never did like Isabel."_

_"No, but I didn't want you and your father to share the same woman," she answered._

_"Thanks for reminding me," he joked and Felicity smiled at him._

_"Hey you could always go out and hook up with another woman."_

_"I think my dad's slept with half the city with the sounds of it," he answered rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. "And I've probably slept with the other half."_

_"Hey," she answered reaching her hand up to his face. "That can't possibly be true."_

_"Oh you do not know how bad I was until I met you."_

_"Well I can safely say I've never slept with your father," she answered teasing as she ran her hand down his jaw and it landed on his chest. "Nor you," she breathed out her._

_Oliver watched her pupils dilate as she glanced up at him. "Not for lack of trying on my part," he joked back._

_"Well that was at the start," she answered tapping her fingers on his chest. He looked down at her hand before he looked up to her face. She was chewing on her bottom lip as her chest rose and fell rapidly._

_"You made me into a better person. You continue to make me into a better person," he whispered, reaching up to push a strand of her hair behind her ear. She moaned lowly as his fingers grazed her face. His hand lingered there as he stared at her._

_"You've always had that inside of you," she replied placing her hand flat against his heart. "God do I want you inside of me," she mumbled lowly._

_"Felicity," he groaned her name as her cheeks flushed and her eyes widened._

_"Oh god I said that out loud," she said panicked, trying to pull away from him. But he didn't let her. He held her hand to his heart, as it thundered against his chest at her admission. His other cupped her head as he leant forward staring into her eyes. He moved slowly, giving her the chance to pull away from him if she wanted to but she didn't. She closed the gap, kissing him passionately. He could taste the hint of red wine as he basically felt his breath be stolen from his lungs. Her lips were so soft against his own, and her moan vibrated all the way through him._

_They got lost in their kiss, both not making it any deeper but neither letting go. After a while Oliver pulled back for some much needed oxygen. But he didn't go too far, resting his forehead against hers as she leant forward to place a quick peck against his lips. Slowly he opened his eyes, to find hers already watching him. Her eyes shined brightly, completely blown with lust as a smirk spread across her face._

_"I want to be inside of you too," he whispered back, his voice huskier than usual. He couldn't miss the whimper as her lip quivered. He pulled back slightly, his hands reaching up and slowly sliding her glasses off. He placed them on the coffee table turning back towards her._

_This time he didn't even hesitate, he grasped her face locking his lips with hers and instantly he tilted her head to deepen the kiss. He could feel her hands pulling his shirt from his pants as his tongue swept into her mouth, caressing and tasting. He moaned at the way her tongue curled around his and his fingers slipped into hair. Instantly she shifted, throwing her leg over his to straddle him. She moaned in return, before gently biting down on his lower lip._

_They pulled apart both panting heavily as Felicity shuffled in his lap. She ran her shaking hands over the buttons of his shirt before she grasped the ends and pulled the material apart. The buttons popped off everywhere, revealing his chest to her and instantly her lips started to kiss their way over his skin. He could feel himself hardening in his pants, his erection pressed against her as she rubbed herself over him repeatedly._

_"Oliver," she whimpered when he clutched her hips bringing her more firmly against him. She threw her head back moaning loudly as he added a thrust up._

_"Felicity," he moaned back as she continued to thrust her hips. His chest heaved as he pushed his hands into her pyjama shorts, a strangled gasp escaping him. "You aren't wearing-"_

_"Nope," she replied as his hands grasp the flesh of her ass. "Never do with pyjamas," she breathed out as he squeezed her cheeks in his large hands._

_"God," he mumbled slowly slipping his hands back to her hips but this time under her clothing. "I want to touch you," he moaned as she continued to rock gently against him._

_"Then do it," she breathed placing a quick kiss to the underside of his jaw. Her teeth scratched slightly at his stubble. He groaned as he quickly moved one hand into the front of her shorts. He cupped her and both moaned in unison._

_"You're so wet," he whimpered as his fingers ghosted around her entrance. Her hips continued to rock, his feather light touches clearly not enough. So he pushed a single finger inside of her and her hips moved faster, her walls clamping around him as she moved. He glanced up at her, her nipples were pebbled and hard, clearly visible through her tank top but the absolute pleasure on her face as her mouth was hung open, caused his heart to hammer even harder. He pulled his finger out of her and slipped two back in, he matched his fingers to her thrusts to maximise the pleasure for her. Her hand clutched his shoulders, probably leaving marks as she continued to ride his hand, his cock twitching under them. He pressed his palm more firmly against her, pressing into her clit as he curled his fingers inside her._

_"Ohhhhhh," she called out her eyes slamming shut. She started to bounce on top of him, her head thrown back as he rubbed the soft spot inside her. She screamed his name as he moved quicker, her walls started to pulsate as he moved his free hand to her head pulling her in for a kiss. Just as their lips collided she exploded on top of him. Her hips moved of their own accord, as the kiss turned sloppy and he continued to caress her through her orgasm. He could feel her juices all over his fingers, so when her hips finally stilled, her lips moved from his own and she practically fell against his chest he finally removed his hand. He groaned at the sight of her juices on his fingers, he slipped them into his mouth dying to taste her. It was like a taste sensation, his whole mouth exploding of something he'd never had before. He groaned loudly, feeling the wetness seeping through her thin shorts and his pants._

_"Fuck," Felicity uttered and he glanced down at her with his fingers still in his mouth. "God I need to taste you," she mumbled sliding down his body. Somehow she fit between the coffee table and his legs. He opened them for her as she rubbed her hands up his thighs giving him a wink before undoing his belt and pants. She didn't bother to pull them completely down, merely lowering them enough to pull out his erection. He groaned from the sensation, he didn't think he'd ever been this hard as it pulled up towards his belly button._

_"Felicity," he growled as she leant forward and licked up the underside of his cock from base to tip. "FUCK," he grumbled slamming his fist into the cushion beside him. She licked at his slit, precum already dripping from him. He looked down at her just as she took the tip of his cock into her mouth. The warmth, and her lips wrapped around him caused his hips to move of their own accord as he thrust shallowly. She moaned around him, her nostrils flaring and eyes widening at the sensation of him sliding further into her mouth. He breathed harshly trying to not cum quickly like some teenager but god her tongue lavishing at his underside as her teeth scraped gently down him was getting too much._

_He planted his feet grasping her shoulders as he pulled her off him and up as he stood._ _"Ahh I was having fun," she teased with a giggle and he couldn't help the growl that escaped him as he pulled her in for another heated kiss. He placed his hand on her back the other under her thigh and pulled her up in one swift motion. She instantly wrapped her legs around his waist as she moaned into his mouth. He swept his tongue in as he carried her out the room. He didn't need to look, he didn't need to see to know his way to her room. He didn't even bother to pause at his own room because he would not be taking her in there, not ever._

_He pulled back from her lips as soon as they entered her room. He slowly placed her down to the ground, his arms still wrapped around her. The lights were off but the moonlight was flittering through the open curtains straight onto her bed. He didn't hesitate as he lifted her top up over her head, and she of course aided him. She pulled her shorts down kicking them to one side as she pushed his open shirt off his shoulders. He let it all fall to the floor as her hands moved to his hips to help push his pants and boxers down. He stepped out of them, walking towards her pushing her towards the bed, as soon as her calves hit it she practically fell backwards. The moon caressed her body, highlighting her soft curves and golden locks. Her juices that had ran onto her legs glistened in the moonlight, and Oliver had to grasp his cock. He squeezed it, desperately trying to gain some control. He wanted to bend down and lick her, to rub his stubble against her clit, and to suck at her nether lips till she screamed his name but he knew he wasn't going to last much longer and he wanted to be inside of her._

_"Oliver?" she whispered leaning up on her elbows closing her legs looking slightly embarrassed. "Are you okay?" she asked not meeting his gaze._

_He growled in response and instantly her eyes snapped up his. "You're fucking beautiful," he said through gritted teeth. "I want to fucking ravish you, but I need a moment to control myself or this will end far too soon."_

_"Really?" she asked, her voice sounding so uncertain._

_"Fuck it!" he grumbled walking up to her with purpose. He leant down his hand cupping her cheek as he kissed her so tenderly. " .Beautiful," he repeated as he pulled back staring into her eyes. "Look at what you've done to me," he whispered pressing himself against her, he pushed his cock towards her slit teasing her as he rubbed himself in her juices._

_"Oliver," she moaned lowly._

_"I have never been so turned on," he admitted. "I've never wanted, no, needed to be inside someone as desperately as I do you right now."_

_She whimpered as he continued to rub against her, her hips moving along with his movements. He placed a hand at the base of her spine pulling her closer whilst lifting her, her legs wrapped loosely on his hips as he pulled them up the bed. Her hair fanned out over her pillows, as her legs widened automatically to accommodate him as he placed some of his weight on her._

_"God you're gorgeous," Felicity mumbled running her hands over his toned body. "You're like a fucking god."_

_He couldn't help but laugh as her hands felt across his back, and down his sides. "I've seen you looking at me when we work out."_

_"Hard not to appreciate this," she gestured to him unable to hide her smile._

_"Well I look at you too Felicity," he whispered lowering his head to place a kiss between her breasts. "Your luscious ass, I want to bend you over every surface and just take you there. Or when you're doing your yoga poses with your ass up I have to resist every urge to touch you." He moved across her breasts peppering them with kisses. "I want to pull on your hair, I want to kiss every inch of your body..." She whimpered as he ran his tongue slowly around her nipple before sucking it into his mouth. Her back bowed as she pushed further into him, her hands latching on to his head. Her fingers tangling in his hair. She moaned loudly as he switched breasts, showing the same treatment to the other and he could feel his cock slip in between her folds as she moved._

_He pulled away from her skin with a deep groan. "I need be inside of you now," he growled lowly staring at her. She bit her bottom lip as she reached easily between them. He watched her face as she took hold of him in her palm, and placed him right at her entrance before giving a gentle stroke. He could see the slight smirk on her lips before he moaned._

_"I need you Oliver," she whimpered as he stared down at her. "Please," she mumbled and all restraint flew out the window. He pressed down on her, thrusting as he did and she gasped. Her whole face exploded with pleasure, her eyes were blown completely, her jaw was hung open on a silent moan as her hand grasped his ass pulling him further in. He could feel her walls stretching around him, and hugging him as deeply as possible. Her eyes fluttered closed as he pushed all the way in. He leant his head to the side kissing and sucking on her neck right behind her ear as he started to move. At first he was slow, moving in and out gently building her up as he sucked on her pulse point._

_"Oh fuck Oliver!" she breathed out, her legs tightening around his hips. She started to move with him as his pace quickened, meeting him thrust for thrust. Her nails scratched up his back as his lips found hers for a scorching kiss. He thrust his tongue in to match the rhyme of his hips and her back bowed off the mattress. She pulled from his lips, screaming his name as her hands fell off his body and to the sides of her head. She pushed her body harder into him, and he could feel her walls tightening around him. He threaded one of his hands with hers and she latched on tightly. "So close..." she moaned her chest pressing into his and he could feel her hard nipples running over his skin which caused a moan of his own._

_Oliver could feel her walls beginning to pulsate, her body tensing slightly. So with one hard thrust, and a suck on her pulse point, she shouted his name right into his ear as she orgasmed underneath him. He felt her whole body shaking from the force of her climax. Her walls held onto him tightly as they pulsated rhythmically, so he stopped thrusting instead pushing deeper, gently rocking as he remained balls deep inside of her. It took all his willpower to not come but there was something he wanted to do to her. He could feel her quaking thighs release him, her rapid breath starting to even out as the waves of pleasure started to lessen. What he did next was something he'd never done before but his lust filled mind just made it work. He pulled out of her swiftly, and quickly turned her onto her stomach. She gasped at the sensation of her nipples rubbing against the sheets._

_"Oliver?" she whimpered his name in surprise._

_"I'm going to make you come one more time," he answered. "But this time I'm gonna be pressed up against your gorgeous ass."_

_"Yes..." she breathed out pressing her stomach into the mattress and her ass up slightly._

_"Close your legs nearly together." She did as instructed and Oliver couldn't help but admire her as she had her hair pushed over one shoulder and was staring at him with a seductive smile. She wiggled her ass at him causing a little groan to escape her lips at the feel of the sheets rubbing her sensitive body._

_"God..." he groaned unable to help himself as he pushed his still apparent erection into her sex from behind. He pushed in, in one hard thrust, all control gone. He could feel her legs widen slightly as his hips collided with her ass._

_"Oh... oh my god," she moaned unable to hide the pleasure. He could feel her already slick folds starting to get slicker. He pumped in and out of her, his balls hitting her clit every time he bottomed out. His hands fell to her waist pushing her further into the mattress and her legs shook at her impending orgasm. He watched as her hands fisted in the sheets and he could feel the base of his spine tingling as he knew his release was fast approaching. He moved his hands leaning over to grasp one of hers, he pulled it down and pushed it underneath her._

_"Touch yourself, feel me, us..." he mumbled as he pressed more of his weight into each thrust. He wrapped his fingers with hers, touching her clit and feeling his cock pushing in and out of her. She moaned loudly the sensations becoming too much for the both of them._

_"Oliver!" she screamed as her walls clamped around him. He continued to thrust and touch her for several more seconds before he felt himself explode from the base. He pushed into her hard one last time, holding his fingers firmly against her clit as his orgasm released deep inside her. He rocked his hips into her ass causing it to wiggle, making her walls pulse more, pulling him in deeper milking him for all he was worth. Felicity's whole body shook for a solid minute underneath him before he pulled their hands out from under her. He slowly rolled to the side, avoiding crushing her as he pulled out of her and she groaned instantly turning into him, resting her head on his chest._

_"Wow," she mumbled as he wrapped an arm around her._

_"Wow indeed," he mumbled still trying to catch his breath._

_"I don't think I've ever had that many orgasms in a row," she answered._

_"Well that's a travesty," he replied and she couldn't help but laugh. "Seriously, that was nothing," he answered._

_"Is that a challenge, Mr Queen?"_

_"Nope, a promise, but we need to rest first," he replied sitting up._

_"Oh yeh of course," she mumbled curling up on the bed._

_"Well we need to get cleaned up," he answered and she merely nodded. "Or I could stay cuddled with you? And we get cleaned up later?" he suggested._

_She didn't give a response but rather opened her arms and legs for him to join her. He chuckled before he dived back onto the bed, his head resting between her breasts before he rolled them over their legs tangled together in a messy heap._

* * *

Oliver moaned lowly feeling his prominent erection rubbing against something soft. He could feel his arms wrapped around someone and slowly he opened his eyes. He froze a little in place as he realised it was Felicity, that he had remembered their first time together. Now he was hard, his cock pressed against her ass cheeks. He tried to resist the urge to move, but she shuffled pressing herself more firmly against him and he heard the low sleepy moaning escape her. He couldn't hide it now, not as she gently rubbed her ass over him. He tried to shuffle away but suddenly her hand flew backwards grasping his hip pulling him towards her.

"Oliver," she groaned and his brain was trying hard to catch up with what was happening.

He leant on his elbow leaning slightly over her to look at her face. She turned her head to look over her shoulder, a seductive grin on her face with her eyes wide open. "Felicity?" he breathed out as she continued to rub herself against him.

"Be a shame to put it to waste," she replied pushing fully into his erection so he understood. He closed his eyes trying to figure out if he was still dreaming or if this was in fact real. "You must have been having a pretty good dream, you've been rubbing against my ass for the last 30 minutes."

His jaw fell open as she didn't look embarrassed at all, in fact all he could see was passion, hunger with a hint of desperation. "It was a memory," he finally replied his voice so deep, he could see his words affecting her as she licked her lips. "Of you, us... our first time."

"Oh," she whimpered and Oliver leant forward kissing her slowly. The hand on his hip tightened squeezing slightly as he ran his tongue along her lips, begging for entrance. She obliged of course but at the same time she began to push his boxers down. So he moaned into her mouth and her tongue caressed him instead. He pulled back gasping, their top lips still touching as they both panted. Oliver pulled his hand from around her waist helping her rid him of his boxers kicking them off under the sheets. As soon as he was free she reached behind her again, this time taking his hard cock in her hand and pumping it a few times. He thrust into her fingers, unable to stop himself.

"God I've missed you," she whimpered as Oliver moved his hand to the edge of her gown lifting it up. She stopped touching him as she sat up quickly pulling the garment over her head and tossing it onto the floor. She gave him a quick wink before she lay back down in the same position.

"I've missed you too," he finally replied when he felt her heated bare skin against his own. He trailed his hand down her side, barely touching her but knowing it would be driving her insane. He moved his hand over hip and forward heading straight for her sex, as soon as his fingers came into contact with her slick flesh she moaned.  
"Oh Oliver."

"Fuck Felicity, you're so wet," he stuttered out running a teasing finger up and down her slit.

"Well you didn't have someone rubbing their erection into you for so long," she whimpered. "Oliver please..." she begged and he was done for.

He took his cock in hand, scooting down a little before placing his head at her entrance. He could feel her squirming as he didn't move any further, just taking the time to appreciate the woman he loved. He felt his breath stutter as he realised completely and utterly that he was in love with her, that he remembered her, them enough and this was the moment, the moment of them finally reconnecting with heart, body, mind and soul. So he pushed in slowly, feeling her walls stretch for him, feeling himself twitching as she clasped him. He heard her gasp as he seated fully inside her, allowing her to get used to the sensation of him again. He sat there breathing harshly, her walls squeezing him deliciously that he had no doubt she could feel every ridge and small twitch of his shaft.

"Oliver," she whined and that was all the confirmation he needed. He began to move slowly, pulling out and then pushing in. He didn't want to rush, he didn't want to hurt her after all this time but he wanted to enjoy her. He pushed a little quicker when her breathing quickened, but not too much. He could feel her begin to thrust back into his movements, meeting everything he did and the pleasure rocketed up for him. He moved his free hand back up her body, gently rubbing his fingers over her sensitive nipples and she gasped loudly her head leaning back slightly.

"Oliver... god... I'm... close," she whimpered, clearly getting there quicker than she expected. But he continued to go slow, to show her how much he adored her. She tilted her head towards him again, wrapping her arm around his neck pulling him down and instantly he kissed her. She opened instantly slowly caressing her tongue against his. Their lips melding together with the slow movements of the rest of their bodies. He could feel her hand in his hair, her nails gently scratching his scalp as he thrust a little harder causing her to gasp into his mouth. She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes as she panted heavily. He stared at her, the passion and pleasure just radiating from her and then he looked into her eyes. The pure love he saw behind it all made his heart hammer in his chest wildly as his thrusts started to lose all rhyme. He sort out the calm in in her body, after the hectic months that had taken over his life. But most importantly he let her loving eyes, gentle touches, warm walls and soft moans soothe his soul and mind.

He could feel both their orgasms fast approaching, from the way her walls started to squeeze him, and the way his base started to tingle in anticipation. "I love you," he said plain as day, baring his tattered soul to her. Her eyes widened as if those words were what she least expected to hear, but before she had a chance to answer him her head fell forward. A silent scream grazed her lips as her orgasm caused her whole body to shake. The way she rocked against him, her walls trying to pull him in deeper triggered his own orgasm as he cummed deep inside her, pressing fully against her ass unable to move any longer. He could feel her shaking start to ease but her walls continued to pulsate milking everything from him. His hand moved down over her body coming to rest against her bump. He caressed it gently, unable to stop touching her as their breathing started to even out and the explosion of pleasure turned into a satisfied buzz.

"I love you too," she answered removing her hand from his head and placing it over his on her bump. He leant forward placing a kiss to her shoulder, and he felt her shiver. Her walls squeezing him and he couldn't help but groan.

"I should probably clean us up."

"Later," she mumbled. "More sleep," she added as she pulled away from him, both groaning at the loss of contact as he slipped out of her. She turned slowly to face him, her eyes now looking sleepy but shining with so much love. She lowered herself back down, her head resting over his heart, her bump resting on his side as she lay her leg over his. She nuzzled into his side kissing his chest.

"I love you so much Felicity," he mumbled placing a kiss to her hair. "I love both of you," he added placing his hand on to her baby bump, where instantly he felt a small kick straight into his palm.

"I think that was the little one trying to say we love you too daddy," she replied with a yawn. He struggled to control his emotions at her words taking a shuddery breath before he felt her fingertips stroking at his jaw so tenderly. "I love you, we both love you," she added before snuggling more into his side. He smiled brightly as he felt her relax completely, and her breathing started to even out. He listen to her soft snores and snuggled in himself, welcoming the blissful sleep.


	16. Rings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: As always thank you all dearly for the support on this fic. Now like I promised this is a direct continuation from last chapter. This chapter is for @love2luvyyou HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!!!! Also I only have one more chapter and the epilogue after this (which I need to write) so this fic is soon to be over. So I hope you enjoy it :) x

Oliver woke up hours later with the bright sun streaming through the undrawn curtains. He could no longer feel the warmth of Felicity beside him, so he stretched his arm out to reach for her, but he was met by cool sheets. He sat up instantly looking around the now empty bedroom. He pulled himself up and out of bed, slipping on his boxers from last night. He stepped out the room listening for any sound to alert him to Felicity's whereabouts. The nursery door was wide open which gave him a clue.

He walked over and leant against the doorframe as he watched her. She was wearing one of his shirts, the buttons open over her bump as she ran her fingers over the cot looking throughout the entire room.

"Morning beautiful," he whispered and her whole body turned around to see him.

"This is gorgeous Oliver," she answered in clear awe but with tears shining in her eyes.

"Well our baby deserves the best," he replied unable to hide the pride in his tone. Instantly Felicity let out a sob, spinning away from him. He reacted straight away, rushing into the room and stepping in front of her. "Hey baby, what's wrong?" he ushered, clutching her cheeks in his hands swiping his thumbs under her eyes to wipe the tears away.

"I nearly took this away from you," she whimpered, her face looking completely heartbroken.

"No," he answered forcefully. "Stop this," he whispered coming even closer to her. "Do not feel guilty over something that didn't happen."

"But I took this time from you," she sobbed out. "Time you can't get back."

"And I hurt you," he answered in kind. "And I'm here now, and I remember more than ever." Slowly he slipped a hand down from her face to the bump. "This is all that matters now, our future, our baby, our family, us," he whispered, leaning forward to place a tender kiss to her lips.

"Sorry, just my emotions are all over the place," she mumbled pulling back. "I feel sad, happy, hungry, horny... like 50 times a day."

He couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him. "Well I am here to help with all of that, good and bad," he answered placing his forehead to hers.

"Good," she whispered staring into his eyes.

He pulled back slowly taking her hand in his as he stepped back. "Sit with me," he stated simply as he sat down in the nursing chair. She frowned seeming a little reluctant to join him.

"I'll crush you," she answered and he truly laughed then.

"No, you won't," he replied pulling her ever so gently to sit down on his lap. She let him pull her, turning slightly so her legs hung over one of the arms whilst she leant her side into his chest. The chair rocked slightly with their movements, but it easily fit them both comfortably. "See, and it rocks too."

"I saw," she answered with a smile as he wrapped one arm around her back, and the other hand linked with hers over her bump.

"So you really like it then?" he asked.

"It's so beautiful Oliver. Truly," she answered staring around the space.

"Thank you," he replied. "I'm so glad you do."

Her head turned towards him to smile at him. "I'd love anything you do."

"You weren't too keen on those banisters when I got them," he replied nodding towards the door.

"Yes and you cut yourself on them," she replied crossing her arms over her chest and he chuckled.

"I remember," he answered smiling brightly. "And I'm glad you're coming to therapy too."

"We need it, to deal with everything," she answered. "Even if I'm not fully in control of my emotions all the time," she mumbled, slowly uncrossing her arms and running a hand up his bare chest. Her fingertips gently caressing before she lay her palm flat against his heart.

"Hey, that doesn't matter. We're working through it all together," he answered, placing his hand over hers.

They stared into each other's eyes remaining silent for a few moments just breathing in the same air, and relaxing with the feel of skin on skin. "I can't believe we're going to have a baby in here soon," she whispered.

"Me either," he responded finally pulling his eyes away to look at the ultrasound scan picture. "Are..." He stopped himself shaking his head.

"What?" she asked placing her hand to his cheek.

"It doesn't matter," he answered with a smile.

"Hey, you can say anything," she replied gently stroking his stubbled jaw.

"I just wondered if you," he sighed before looking at her straight, "regretted not going to Seattle, with the opportunity to work at Palmer Tech."

She smiled brightly looking at him, which made his heart hammer in his chest. "How could I regret that Oliver? My life has always been with you, I was just doing anything to keep busy."

"My life is with you too, you know that right?" he answered back and she nodded. "You have my whole heart," he whispered.

"You have mine too," she responded. "Plus I can do the work for Palmer Tech from here," she added with a broad smile and he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Good, because I never want to hold you back," he answered. "And I want to make up for all that time without my memories."

"Hey I told you, it's okay. It wasn't your fault," she whispered cupping his cheek. "And like you said to me, we're here now. Us 3, as a family. That's what matters from now on."

He took a deep calming breath staring at her. "God I love you," he answered leaning forward to capture her lips into a sweet kiss. He pulled her slightly closer as she wrapped her arm around his neck whilst the other moved up from his cheek to his hair. She pulled back slightly but still pressed her forehead to his.

Her eyes remained closed as they breathed the same breath. "I love you too," she whispered against his lips before she opened her eyes and just stared into his. He looked back, feeling so at peace, that he could take on anything the world threw at him with her back by his side, where they belonged.

He smiled brightly thinking of how they would soon become a three. "Felicity," he breathed her name leaning back slightly, feeling a small buzz of nervous energy run down his spine.

"Yes Oliver?" she answered her hands slipping to his chest.

He reached over slightly to the draws pulling the top one open and pushing his hand inside. He felt around for the small velvet box and when his fingers slipped over it, he grasped it, and pulled it out. The green velvet shone in the bright room, as he brought it closer towards them. "I wanted to give these back to you in some special grand way, I even had them in my pocket that day I came to see you but it feels right now."

Her hands slipped from his chest as her eyes flickered between him and the box. "Oliver?" she asked softly.

"6 weeks ago, I thought I'd lost you forever. I thought this was the end for us, but now I realise that all this pain has actually made us stronger, it's going to make our relationship even stronger, every day." He took a deep breath. "I won't pretend that life is going to be a bed of roses, I'm sure we'll argue, I'm sure we'll have our ups and downs but if these last few months have taught me anything, it's that I can get through it all if I have you by my side. I love you with all that I am, you are my always-"

"You're mine too," she interrupted slightly. "Sorry, carry on."

He chuckled despite still feeling nervous. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, with our family." He placed his hand on her belly. "Which I hope will continue to thrive and grow."

"I haven't had this one yet," she teased, clearly trying to ease his nerves as he noticed he was shaking.

"Well that's a discussion for later," he answered trying to focus. "But right now, I want to be your husband again, if you'll have me of course?" She opened her mouth to reply so he quickly added. "And will you be my wife... again?" He popped the box open to reveal all 3 rings sitting there.

She glanced at them with glassy eyes before looking at him. "You're ready?" she all but whispered staring right at him.

"I am, are you?" he asked in response. She didn't bother to respond as she pulled his band from the box. She tugged on his left hand pulling it towards her. He spread his fingers as she slipped the band back onto his finger, and he couldn't explain the feelings it brought as a peace settled over him. She pulled his hand up to her lips placing a kiss over the ring and skin, he couldn't even hide the shudder from feeling her warm lips as a direct contrast to the cool band. It made his heart skip a beat, and he expected the weight to feel foreign but as she pulled away, it felt normal, natural even.

"Yes, Oliver," she finally whispered taking her own rings from the box and slipping them back into place with the biggest grin he'd ever seen. "God I've missed them."

"The rings?" he asked

"Yes, I didn't think I would but it felt weird, like that was the last of our connection," she whispered before dragging her eyes up to his.

He placed the box on the top of the draws as he turned to her more fully. "Marry me?" he asked instantly and all she did was laugh.

"I know you lost your memory, but we're already married Oliver."

"I know, I do remember," he answered and she blinked.

"Wait, you remember our wedding?"

"Sort of, I remember your dress specifically getting you out of it," he answered watching her pupils widen and her cheeks flush.

"Oh."

"But I want to renew our vows, just something simple, for us, for those we love," he added. "Because I never want you to take those rings off again. I never want you to lose that connection, so why not?" He shrugged.

"You're serious," she replied looking a little shocked.

"Yes. I love you, I want to scream that from the rooftops Felicity, and show all the world that the best part of my life, is you," he answered and she shook her head as her bottom lip quivered.

"Fine, but after the baby's born, because I do not want to look like this."

"You look beautiful," he uttered staring at her.

"You have to say that," she replied.

"Still makes it true though," he whispered pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "But we'll do it in the new year, get the baby, Hanukkah and Christmas all out the way first."

"Okay." She nodded as his fingers lingered on her neck.

"Good, well how about we start making some plans?" he asked leaning in for a kiss.

"I would love to, but unfortunately, I need a shower because of our activities this morning, and I don't think the Merlyn's will appreciate the godparents being late for the christening," she answered pulling back slightly.

"Well you were not complaining this morning," he responded with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"No complaints from me," she answered with a laugh. "But seriously I need a shower, and then we do need to get moving."

"Fine," he grumbled as she slowly stood up.

She started walking towards the door as Oliver watched her. She was messing with his shirt before she froze in the doorway. "But I didn't say we couldn't get clean together," she added turning her head to look at him as she slipped his shirt off her shoulders and it fell to the floor. Instantly he was on his feet rushing towards her.

He stopped short before stepping and pressing his chest to her spine whilst wrapping his arms around her bump. "Well I plan on getting us even more dirty first, Mrs Queen," he whispered into her ear before he nibbled on her earlobe.

"Well you better get a move on, Mr Queen," she replied pushing further into him causing a growl to escape him at the press of her skin against his.

"Right," he groaned as he scooped her up easily into his arms.

"Oliver!" she shrieked with a giggle kicking her legs a little as he marched them back to their room, and to the ensuite awaiting them with no plan on rushing.

* * *

Oliver stood straighter unable to take his eyes off her. He knew he should be listening to what was happening before him, but truthfully he was barely paying any attention. He had done his part, he had watched the christening and been dutiful but now he couldn't keep his eyes off Felicity. She was wearing a simple blue flowered dress that flowed over her prominent bump, her hair was down in loose waves and she had a beaming grin on her face but that wasn't what captivated him. It was the way she glowed vibrantly within the light shining through the stain glassed windows. The warm colours wrapped around her, and Oliver just could not pull his eyes away from her. Everything he ever wanted was right there in front of him, happy, vibrant, healthy and by his side. He couldn't hide the smile from his lips, nor probably the hunger, love and passion in his eyes if she looked at him.

He never heard the minister's closing speech, nor the applause from the crowd. In fact he only reacted when Felicity was literally handed the baby to hold as Tommy and Laurel thanked the minister. His heart hammered in his chest, unable to hide the longing he felt to see her holding their baby in her arms. She rocked him gently, as she cooed over him looking completely natural.

"You're a natural," he heard Laurel tell her as she took her son from her arms.

"Lance is just a good baby," she replied smiling brightly, rubbing her belly lightly. "I just hope this one's going to be good for us."

"I'm sure Oliver can handle the nights," Tommy replied patting him on the shoulder and finally Felicity looked up at him. He didn't need to say anything, his eyes and face probably spoke volumes as he just stared at her beautiful form in front of him.

"I would do anything for you two," he answered stepping forward wrapping an arm around her shoulders whilst his other hand gently rubbed her belly. Her cheeks flushed as she stared up at him, her bright blue eyes darkening ever so slightly as her tongue peeked out to dampen her lips.

"Wow, you two really need to get a room," Thea shrieked causing them to break eye contact.

"Says the woman who has been draped over her husband," Oliver teased back, nodding at Roy who was holding her hand.

"We're married and in love," she protested.

"So are we," Oliver answered and he could feel Felicity lean into his side with a massive grin on her face.

"Thank god!" Thea replied. "No offence but I am so glad this bone head finally realised what was happening!"

"Thanks Speedy," Oliver mumbled with a mock pout.

"Well I shall always be forever grateful for all of you, for everything you all did over the last several months, especially yourself and Diggle," Felicity answered reaching and taking Thea's hand.

"It's what sisters are for," Thea answered. "And I can not wait to be the cool Auntie."

"Good practise for becoming the cool mom," Diggles loud voice caught all their attention. "Thanks for inviting us guys, Lance is adorable," he added leaning in to smile at him.

"Always good to have you and the family here," Tommy said with a nod.

"And it is always a pleasure to be with you guys," Diggle added gesturing to them all.

"As it is with you," Felicity replied, quickly going in for a hug. Oliver smiled as Diggle embraced her being very conscious of her bump. "Thank you," she added looking up at him.

"I've already told you, stop thanking me," he answered with a little chuckle. "It's thanks to you, Oliver, and Tommy, that I have such great businesses."

"But still..." Oliver added quickly.

"But nothing," he answered. "Now come on we have your restaurant to get to."

"Yes we do," Laurel added with a smile.

"I hear you actually made the menu?" Thea asked looking at Oliver.

"I did," he answered. "It felt right to go back, and Roy has been a great help of course."

"My pleasure man, the food really is to die for," Roy replied, hugging Thea a little tighter and they looked so happy.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Tommy answered clapping his hand together and they all made for the exit as the rest of the crowd slowly started to leave.

Oliver placed his hand on the small of Felicity's back as she slowly waddled towards the exit.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"Yes, just getting harder to be on my feet for long periods," she answered giving her best smile.

"Well when we get home how about I massage those feet for you?" he asked.

"That actually sounds pretty awesome," she answered leaning slightly into his side. "To be honest spending the weekend in bed also sounds pretty appealing," she mumbled.

"Then that's the plan," he answered.

"No, we don't need to."

"Oh we do," he replied happily. "We can spend it all in bed, in our home."

"God that sounds so appealing right now," she answered with a small moan.

"Not to toot my own horn, but when we get to Overwatch you can sit and enjoy the food because it really is good."

"Oh I have no doubt the food will be marvellous," she answered as they came to a stop in the church entrance. She placed her hand on his chest beaming up at him and he couldn't help but smile in return. They were lost in each others eyes, the happy bubble around them impenetrable, until his phone began to ring loudly in his pocket and he finally had to look away.

He never looked at the caller idea as he answered the call pulling it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Oh Oliver, my sweet boy," Moira sobbed.

"Mom?" he questioned, unable to hide his concern as Felicity grasped his arm.

"Oh Oliver, it's just awful," she whimpered down the phone.

"Mom what's going on, are you okay?" he asked.

"Is Thea with you?" she asked ignoring him. "I've been trying to get hold of her too."

"We were at Lance's christening, she's here. What's happening?"

"I need you to both come to the hospital."

"The hospital? What! Why?" he asked, looking around to see that most of the group had stopped and were now looking at him.

"Oliver, it's your father. He's had a stroke."


	17. A Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: So here we are, this is the final chapter of this story, only thing left will be the epilogue. I want to thank everyone for their continued support with this, honestly it has meant so much more than you all realise. SO I hope you enjoy this :) x

Felicity sat there silently staring at Oliver in the waiting room, with Thea and Roy sat opposite them. His father had, had a stroke, which was of course a shock, but she didn't know how to feel about it and she could see that Oliver was feeling the same way. Of course, after everything Robert was still his father, but he wasn't exactly a great person, but she wouldn't wish anything like this on him.

Slowly the door opened and in walked a very upset Moira. Instantly everyone's eyes landed on her as Walter followed her in, his arm around her in support.

"Mom?" Oliver asked softly.

"Your fathers had a stroke, he's stable and on medication, but he wants to talk to you all," she replied taking a deep breath.

"What, all of us?" Thea asked a little stunned.

"Yes, all of you," Moira repeated giving her a gentle smile. She nodded in response getting to her feet and Roy joined her as they made to follow Moira.

Oliver stood up slowly holding his hand out to Felicity. "Are you sure you want me there?" she asked hesitantly.

"Why not?" he replied. "I want the support of my wife, and it's time everyone got used to that idea." She nodded in response as he leant forward and placed a kiss to her hair. She took a deep breath inhaling his scent to calm her nerves. She knew it was irrational, she knew logically that Robert couldn't do anything but it was more her nerves for Oliver and Thea. They followed the group slowly as her feet and back ached. She rubbed at her side trying to ease some of the discomfort.

"Are you okay?" Oliver whispered before they stepped out the room. His blue eyes full of concern as he looked at her. "If you don't want to come in, that's okay."

"No, No! I am fine," she answered giving him a reassuring smile, that clearly did not work. "Seriously, my feet and back ache, but that's to be expected," she added with a sigh and shrug.

He leant forward whispering into her ear. "Well as soon as we're done here I'll give you that massage I promised."

She didn't even get a chance to respond before they entered Roberts room. Moira and Walter stood nearer the wall at the bottom of the bed as Thea stood on the opposite side, Roy close behind her. Oliver directed her to the only chair which was beside the bed. She looked at Robert, he had various equipment hooked up to him, IVs and beeping machines but he looked pale and his left side didn't seem to match his right.

"Oliver," Robert mumbled, as Felicity sat down in the seat.

"I'm here dad," he replied stepping to the side of the bed.

"Moira," he whimpered, his words coming out slightly slurred.

"I'm here Robert," she replied.

"Thea?" He said turning his head, the best he could, to look at her. She could see him desperately trying to reach for her, and without question Thea stepped forward and took his hand.

"Dad," she answered, the reaction was almost instant as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I am so sorry," he whispered. "For everything, for how I treated all of you." He took a deep breath. "I know, I know nothing I can say or do, will make up for that and I don't deserve any of your forgiveness."

"Robert..." Moira sobbed.

"But I want to put things right," he said, each word a struggle but he continued regardless. "Thea, I ruined your mother's life. I cheated on her, and then caused the only other woman I had been in love with to seek revenge. I love you, but I truly believe you are better off without me in your life."

"Dad," she mumbled.

"I ruined Oliver's life, hell I even ruined Felicity's and all she did was try to help him. I am a bad person, and I truly believed that you would be better off without me in your life, but I should have given you that option, and I am sorry."

"You're my dad, my father... not Malcolm," Thea replied as she cried openly too. "I thought I did something wrong, I thought you didn't love me because we weren't related-"

"No," he shouted. "No, I never stopped loving you. You deserved better, a father who wouldn't mess up your life just by being in it."

"You didn't, for 18 years you raised me and were there for me. You didn't mess it up that bad, dad," she answered.

"No, but I did now, I missed your wedding because of my own pride, I cut you out the company... God and Oliver," he turned his head towards him, "I tried to make you into something you weren't, I tried to force my life on you all and I took out all my own heartbreak, anger and pain on you."

"Dad, you don't need to go over this right now, you need to focus on getting better," Oliver encouraged.

"That's what I'm getting to," he said nodding at Moira and Walter, who stepped forward.

"Your father is stepping down as CEO of Queens Consolidated as of now," Moira said softly.

"And I will become acting CEO for as long as needs be," Walter added.

"But why? You love that job," Thea asked looking at Robert.

"My health hasn't been great for awhile, I was warned about this," he answered sadly.

"So your dad's made the decision to step down. He will still earn money, and be a part of the board, but we will no longer be in charge of the company," Moira replied. "But he wants to keep the company within the family, in hopes that one day, one of you will become CEO."

"But neither of us want that," Thea answered. "We love you, but we don't want to run the company."

"No, but she will," Robert used his good hand and pointed it directly at Felicity who gasped.

"But I'm not apart of the family," she mumbled.

"Yes you are dear, you're a Queen," Moira answered with a smile.

"I ruined your career, I ruined your chance of progression within the company but you have proven with your own company, what you are capable of doing and I know QC would be in amazingly safe hands with you Felicity," Robert replied.

"I just-- I'm pregnant, that's a lot to handle," she whispered blinking. Oliver stepped back to look at her, offering a reassuring squeeze of her shoulder.

"The choice is yours," Walter answered. "I will remain as CEO depending on the choices you make."

"But --I..." she mumbled.

"You don't have to think about that right now," Oliver said grabbing her attention as he knelt down in front of her. "That is an option available, just one and we can decide at a later date, that's what they're saying, right?"

"Yes," Moira answered. "But also, your dad has changed his will. When he dies the company will be divided equally between both Thea and Oliver."

"Why?" Thea asked once more turning to her dad.

"Because you are my daughter, and I can not make up for the things I have done but I can do that," he answered.

"You don't have to," she replied.

"You really don't," Oliver added standing up and turning to him.

"I might not always do the right thing, but this time I am," Robert answered looking at them all. "I want to do this. I need to get better, I need to focus on being healthy."

"You can come back to the mansion," Moira suggested. "We can help you get back to full health."

"No, thank you for the offer, but I think I need to stop relying on you Moira. You deserve to be happy with Walter, and I need to start looking after myself."

"But who will help you?"

"I'll hire people," he answered. "What's the sense in having money to live, if I am not healthy to do so."

"We can help take care of you," Thea urged.

"No," he answered sternly. "I will not become a burden on your lives, I'll get help from trained professionals but, visits would be nice."

"Of course," Oliver answered with a nod.

"You'll have a grandchild to chase after soon," Felicity added, all the anger and pain from all those years slowly disappearing at the vulnerability of the man lay before her. She stood up stepping closer to Oliver.

"Need to get your strength up for that dad," Oliver added. "Because I'm pretty certain this one's going to be a lively one."

"Like his dad, and auntie then," Robert replied, the tears swirling around his eyes once more.

"You just gotta get better," Thea added as Roy stepped up beside her and wrapped his arm around her.

"And I have to get to know the man that could handle you," Robert tried to joke.

"Roy Harper, sir, a pleasure to finally meet you," Roy said softly. Felicity leant into Oliver's side, and he smiled down at her. She smiled brightly up at him unable to hide the joy even in the saddest moment. She frowned when she suddenly felt water running down her legs and pooling around her feet.

"Felicity?" Oliver asked as he glanced down too.

"My waters just broke," she said in utter panic. "My waters broke," she repeated feeling her heart hammering in her chest, panic beginning to take over.

Instantly Oliver was there. "Hey listen, we're in a hospital, everything is going to be fine."

She desperately tried to calm her nerves unable to focus on anything, as a rippling pain overtook her. Her eyes slammed shut as she screamed, almost doubling over in pain. She could feel strong arms holding her up as her hands reached out, her nails digging in. "Oliver," she whimpered as the pain finally started to ease.

"Felicity, hey listen, just remember to breathe," he encouraged, not moving at all. She finally opened her eyes to see her hands clutching to his biceps squeezing hard.

"I'm sorry," she rushed out, removing her hands from his arms.

"Hey, never say sorry," he answered wrapping his arm around her.

"Go!" Moira ushered. "Get her to the maternity ward, and we'll call a nurse to clean all this."

"Yes, of course," Oliver answered as he lead her towards the door.

"GOOD LUCK!" Thea shouted after them.

"I've ruined a nice dress," Felicity mumbled as they got into the hallway. "And my shoes."

He chuckled. "All of those are replaceable," he answered holding her tightly. "Now lets focus on welcoming our baby into the world."

"So much for a weekend in bed," she grumbled, letting him lead her. He truly did laugh at her and despite the fear, despite the uncertainty she couldn't help but laugh a long too.

* * *

Several hours and much pain later Felicity sat back on the bed, her heart felt so full as she stared down at the sleeping bundle of joy in the little cot beside her. She was incredibly tired, but way too happy to sleep. She had spent way too long cuddling their son, his ten tiny fingers and toes so small, all of him so small. Her heart soared every time she looked at him. She was a mother now, and she knew all the responsibility that came along with it but what she hadn't expected was all the feelings. That instant rush of love the moment he cried on her bare chest, the sadness she felt at her mother missing out on this, the anger that her father had chosen to run away from it all, and the utter joy of having to share this moment with the man she loved, a man who wouldn't run from his responsibility.

"Hey," he whispered walking in with a bowl of ice cream. "He fell asleep?" he asked making sure to remain silent.

"Hey," she answered taking the bowl from him, the mint choc chip scooped high. "Yep, and thank you."

"You never have to thank me," Oliver replied as he gingerly sat on the bed. Instantly she shuffled over, patting the space beside him. He smiled as he scooted to her side.

"He's perfect," she whispered.

"Just like his mom," he answered.

She rolled her eyes. "You're so cheesy," she replied, he chuckled softly.

"I think sitting here holding my wife, watching our first born son sleep beside us, is a very valid reason for me to be all cheesy," he answered, unable to hide the gorgeous smile of pure happiness.

"God I love you," she answered taking a bite of her ice cream.

"I love you too. God I don't think it is possible to love anything more than I love him and you right now," he replied with a small shake of disbelief.

She reached up a hand to his stubbled jaw. "Me neither, but we love you so much."

"He really is perfect," he said as she returned to her ice cream. "And are you okay?"

"Just a little tired, and well hungry as you know," she answered holding the bowl up. "Did you let your family know? And how's you dad?"

"I did, they're going to give us a few hours before they come down. That and they want him to have a name by then," he answered with a shrug. "And my dad is about the same, happier to know he has a grandson."

"Good," she mumbled. "As for a name, any suggestions?"

"I have no idea," he admitted. "Oh and Diggle is going to bring your overnight bag so I don't have to leave."

"Good," she answered leaning more into his side. "I don't want you to go anywhere."

"I have no intention of, ever again," he mumbled into her hair before he placed a kiss to her forehead.

"Robert?" she asked looking up at him.

"Huh?" He frowned down at her before she flickered her eyes to their sleeping son.

"Should we call him Robert, after your dad?"

"No, I don't think we should," he answered. "Nor my name."

"You don't want him to have your name as his middle name?"

"No, him being a Queen is enough, he doesn't need our names as a legacy."

"Fine, how about Jonas?"

"Errrmmmm, no. He doesn't look like one. How about something regal like George? Or Charles?" She couldn't help but cringe at the name choice.

"No I was thinking something maybe more modern."

"Oh, we are not naming our son after something computer related." She couldn't help the snort that escaped her at his serious tone. Both their eyes bolted to their son, where he lay still sound asleep.

"No," she answered. "Nothing like that."

They both sat in silence in for awhile, watching the gentle rise and fall of their sons chest. He was so small and the fact that he completely relied on them for everything hit Felicity hard. She was his mother, his protector, his caregiver, his supporter, his punisher, his friend for the rest of her breathing days.

"Arthur," Oliver mumbled. "He looks like an Arthur." She looked up at him, his whole face reflecting everything she had just been thinking.

"Archie," she answered in turn.

"Archie John Queen," Oliver suggested proudly.

"John?" she asked.

"Well Tommy will be godfather, and you said yourself we could never thank Diggle enough."

"I love it Oliver, I love it," she answered, a tear escaping from the corner of her eye.

Oliver leant forward his lips pressing against her cheek capturing it. "We're parents," he mumbled, and she could feel the awe inspiring smile against her skin.

"Yes, we are."

"We're gonna do this together,"

"For the rest of our lives," she added and he pulled back to look at her.

"Yes," he replied breathily, the hunger as clear as day in his gaze.

"Oliver," she whimpered as he leant forward and captured her lips. She could feel his hand shaking as it came to rest on her cheek, as he clearly tried to keep control. He kept the kiss soft and gentle, not deepening it before he pulled back. "God, I wish we could have had that weekend in bed," she mumbled letting her head drop to his shoulder.

"Me too," He growled as a shaky breath escaped him. "But we have Archie to look after now."

"Yes we do," she answered lifting her head and glancing back at him. "We got this right?" she asked, feeling her insecurities leaking to the surface.

"Yes, we have. We can do anything together," he replied with such determination it eased her instantly. "We will try our damn best for our son. God knows it probably won't be easy and we won't always get it right, but it will be worth it to see him grow up into a wonderful man."

"With you as his father, I'm sure he will."

"And you as his mother too," he answered. "God this is just perfect."

"You won't be saying that when he wakes us up in the middle of the night for a feed," she joked.

"Oh even then," he replied with a wink. "With you two in my life, I'm a happy man."

"Good, because I'm happy too, no regrets," she responded, placing her bowl down on the side so she could hug him properly. She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest.

"You wouldn't change anything? Not even my accident," he asked with genuine puzzlement.

"God, if I could take the pain that you went through away, I would but I wouldn't change anything, Oliver. Not a single thing," she answered, her eyes starting to feel heavy. "Because all these events, and our choices, they made us the people we are today, and the man you are today, I love deeply." She ended the statement by placing a quick kiss to his heart before burrowing closer to him.

"I love you too," he whispered into her hair. "Now get some rest before our son decides to test his lungs again."

"Archie," she mumbled with a soft smile.

"Yes, sleep whilst Archie still is."

"Okay," she mumbled sleepily.

"Sleep well my love," she heard him murmur as she felt his lips once more press to her head.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: So this is it, this is the epilogue. We’ve finally come to an end, and it feels so strange to finish yet another piece. Thank you for all the support, for the kind words, encouragement and enthusiasm. I can never fully express what it means to know people actually enjoy something I write, so truly from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. That goes to everyone, the people I talk to daily and pushed me, the people who create beautiful pieces for me, the ones who leave comments everytime or just once, and even to the silent readers. It means so much more than I can express. I’m sad another piece has ended but I hope you enjoy it... x

6 months later

Oliver stood looking at his feet, he knew it was irrational to be this nervous. Hell, he wasn't even getting married for the first time, they were merely renewing their vows. But it was the first night he'd ever spent away from Archie and Felicity, since his birth. He knew Felicity could handle it amazingly, but he didn't realise how much he could truly miss his family. He took a deep breath, as their family and friends spoke around them.

"Dude you look really nervous," Tommy said placing his hand on his shoulder.

Oliver looked up to see him with a concerned frown. "I just can't wait to see them," he answered.

"It's the best feeling right?" Diggle added from the his other side. "Not the missing part. The realising that it is everything you never knew you needed but never want to lose ever."

"Exactly," Oliver answered. "So please don't screw this is up, Tommy."

"I got blessed online specifically for this," he replied in mock offence. Oliver just gave him a skeptical look. "Oliver, I swear to you, everything is going to be great."

"He's right man," Diggle added. "Restaurant looks gorgeous." He gestured around the space that they had managed to turn into a wedding venue. One side was partially empty being used as a dance floor, the rest were tables set up ready for the food. Whilst the other side had been converted into a small makeshift aisle with seats. Oliver looked at the very select few of family, and friends taking their seats. He knew every single person sat before them, they'd kept it quiet with the press, and only invited those who truly meant something to them. He looked over to see his mother and father sat next to each other. Robert had a walking stick to help him, and was slowly starting to get better but truthfully he hadn't seen his dad look that happy in years. He smiled brightly as he chatted to Moira and Walter, as his hired carer joined in the conversation too.

Suddenly the room fell silent before soft music started to play. Oliver turned his back towards the crowd and faced Tommy whilst Diggle stayed at his side. He knew Thea would be coming down first, softly swaying to the music before reaching her seat beside Roy. Oliver could hear the small whispers as Felicity clearly began to walk down the aisle.

"You're one lucky man," Diggle mumbled to him which only made him feel more nervous. He looked up to see Tommy nodding in agreement before his eyes landed on Laurel, the love clear as day on his face. It was obvious he was remembering his own wedding day. Oliver turned his head instantly when he felt her presence beside him. He stopped breathing as he took in her simple, yet stunning look. Her white wedding dress clung to her chest, flowing over her hips before stopping just above her knees. Archie was held at her hip, as he played with a teether wearing an adorable matching suit to his own.

"He's giving me away," she declared happily to him.

Oliver could only smile in response as he leant towards him. "Hey buddy," he said. Instantly he started to rattle his teether in Oliver's face with a giant grin. "I've missed you," he said softly. "Both of you," he clarified looking into her eyes.

"We've missed you too," she answered shuffling to hold Archie more comfortably. "Right Archie?" He babbled happily at her side.

"Sorry to interrupt this precious reunion but are you ready?" Tommy whispered.

"Oh god, sorry," Felicity answered turning to the room. "Yes, proceed."

"Well, you're all here today because, well, these pair invited you." The crowd laughed. "But no seriously, we're here because we mean something to these guys, and it means a lot to them that we share in their joy and happiness. After a less than steady year, I'm here to offer a blessing. To bless these 2 souls who found themselves in each other... again. So I know you both wanted to say your own words, so Oliver."

He took a deep breath as Felicity stood looking at him, as did Archie. His eyes never wavered as he began to speak to her. "Felicity before I met you, I was a drift. I was floating around life not taking anything seriously. I was a mess. But then you walked into my life. Or, I-I came charging into yours and you changed everything. I was in darkness. But with your kindness, your generosity, your compassion, your intelligence, your wit, and your trust you brought me into the light, not once but twice. You are the light in my life, you guide me, you show me how much I can grow and change. You showed me I deserved to live a full life, and what real love is. You let me know that I deserved it all. And I question every day if I deserve you after everything I've put you through," he shook his head with a sad smile, "I probably don't. But whatever has happened, whatever will happen, the way that you make me feel is one of the best parts of my life. In fact every part of my life is better for having known you, you gave me love, compassion, hope, a family. You are my always, Felicity and I'm just glad you gave me yet another chance to be yours." He could feel the tears stinging at the back of his eyes, as he watched hers rolling down her cheeks. She reached the free hand not holding their son, over to take his own and linked their fingers.

"Oliver," she whispered, his name sounding like everything all at once. A prayer, a hope, joy, sadness, pride, happiness, life.

Suddenly everyone started to laugh as Archie babbled happily fidgeting in Felicity's arms reaching towards Oliver. "Come here little man," Oliver said softly taking his son into his arms as Felicity took a second to compose herself.

"Nice one bro," Tommy whispered quickly, before turning to Felicity. "Now your turn Felicity."

"Oliver, as you know, I didn't have the best start as a child. I grew up not believing in love. I had a plan to come to Star City, to start again, to become something else, someone else. But from the moment you walked into my life, that all changed. I became a person that I didn't even know I was capable of becoming, I am stronger than I have ever been, I am a mother, a friend, a wife. I have become the very best version of myself. That would never have been possible without you and our love. Our love gives my life meaning and with that it has given my life purpose. Because love is life itself, whether that be between friends, siblings, a wife and husband, a mother and son. And it brings us more joy than life can ever take away from us. And it's worth living for. All of it. The good times, and the repeatedly bad times, I would not change a single thing to get here, because here is right where I belong." She squeezed his hand tightly. "I love you Oliver, and you deserve to be loved, and you are."

"As are you," he replied.

"Well with those lovely words, I don't think I can top, I know you won't be exchanging rings because they are forever staying in place."

"Yep," they replied in unison.

"Well then each raise your left hand." They did as was said. "Now join hands." They linked their fingers together, the bands of their rings clanging slightly. "With those rings, and your loved ones watching. I bless thee, I bless this union... again, I bless this love... again, I bless your family, I bless your future." Archie leant forward placing his wet teether over their joined hands as he babbled once more, and everyone started to chuckle. Oliver looked up to see the happiness and joy swirling around Felicity's eyes as Tommy tried to continue. "And with that I bless you as husband and wife once more. Now kiss," he said waving his hands together.  
Oliver leant forward placing the softest of kisses to Felicity's lips, very aware of his son in his arm. He felt wet kisses being placed to his cheek before he opened his eyes to see Archie moving from him to place kisses to Felicity's cheek.

"Love you baby," she whispered to their son who seemed to babble happily.

"Daddy loves you too," Oliver said kissing him under his neck which caused him to giggle. "And I love you Felicity."

"I love you too," she replied leaning up to place another tender quick peck to his lips.

"Come on you two!" Thea shouted. "We have your first dance and cake cutting to do!"

* * *

Oliver stood watching as his mother and father danced happily with Archie between them. He'd danced with his wife, talked to all his friends, had a little to eat and now he was stood watching everyone else enjoying themselves. He felt a familiar presence brush against his side before leaning up to him. "I can't wait for tonight," Felicity whispered into his ear.

"You really trust Thea and Roy with him?" Oliver asked.

"They're staying with your mom and Walter, he'll be fine," she answered. He merely pouted at her and she couldn't help but laugh. "You're more nervous to leave him than I am?" she asked.

"No. He's just... he's our baby," he answered with a shrug. "I don't want to leave him."

She chuckled. "He's going for one night Oliver, we can even go pick him up before breakfast if you want?"

"Really?"

"Yes," she replied with an easy smile. "I just want one night with you to myself before we get so hectic."

He turned to look at her. "Before we get hectic?" he questioned.

"I'm thinking of going to QC, shadow Walter, have him show me the ropes." She bit her lip nervously, clearly waiting for his reaction.

"That's wonderful, hun," he answered. "We should get some champagne, celebrate!"

"We're already celebrating Oliver."

"Yes, but you can drink," he encouraged, but instead she pulled back with a shake of her head. He turned to her with a frown. "Felicity? What's going on?" he asked.

"I didn't want to tell you like this, I was waiting till we were alone and I swear I only found out this morning-" he gently cradled her head in his hands.

"Felicity," he whispered searching her face for anything.

"I'm pregnant, Oliver," she breathed out.

He blinked, unmoving as her words hit him. "Say that again?" he mumbled.

"I'm-I'm pregnant," she answered looking completely unsure and instantly he wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting and spinning her around. He laughed happily, the joy in his chest expanding even more. She squealed a little before he stopped and slowly placed her feet back to the ground. "You're happy then?"

"It's absolutely fucking wonderful," he declared and she giggled, the smile on her face impossibly bright. "I love you, I love our family and I can not wait for it to grow."

"Good, because me either," she answered leaning up and pressing her lips more firmly against his. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue caressed her own. He ran his hand down her spine as the other tangled into her hair.

"God, okay, tonight we need a night for us," he whispered against her lips as they pulled apart.

"Exactly," she mumbled.

"I can't wait for our future together."

"Good or bad, happy or sad, our love is enough," she answered in turn, placing her hand over his heart as he sneakily placed it on her belly. He looked into her eyes seeing his entire world before him, his past, his present and his future, all waiting in the depths of her blue eyes, and truthfully in that moment, love really did make the world go around.


End file.
